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35 Cards in this Set

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Why are greetings considered rituals?
What do we learn from greeting rituals?
you use stylized greetings as a pleasantry.

you learn how close the relationship is,
what kind of relationship it is,
power differentials,
formality, etc.
What is Goffman’s rule of attenuation?
when you see someone multiple times a day, you greet them the first time with a more involved greeting, and with each subsequent greeting the involvement diminishes.
Name and provide an example of the four levels of forms of address. You should also know when each level is usually used.
1. formal-impersonal: mr, ms, sir, ma'am, titles
2. ambiguous formality: we don't know what we're supposed to call someone.
3. informal: dude, shortened names
4. intimate-affectionate: terms of endearment recognized across relational types, personal idioms.
What is small talk and why is it so important in interpersonal relationships?
it's chat about seemingly superficial topics.
small talk is important b/c it shows that you care about the other person (how was your day?) and it creates a base for more meaningful conversations.
What does it mean to take a “turning point” approach to studying relationships? How is the turning point analysis conducted?
over the course of a relationship what stands out as events that increased or decreased commitment. shows the relationship's trajectory- the path it takes.

a turning point analysis is done by tracking the relationship's commitment level of the relationship over time in relationship to different events over the history of their relationship.
What are dyadic traditions? Name and explain the five dyadic traditions reviewed in Baxter and Pittman (2001)
routine symbols/rituals both partners take place in
1. idomatic comm: personalized comm
2. celebration: anniversaries, the calendar of the relationship
3. reminiscence: joint remembering of past events in a positive light
4. mementos: objects that remind us of our relationship and its past.
5. telling stories reminiscently to someone else
Name and explain the six love styles.
1. storge: love based on friendship
2. pragma: practical love
3. ludus: playful love
4. eros: passionate, erotic love
5. agape: selfless love
6. mania: crazy love
What distinguishes love from liking/friendship?
love is deep compassion, you see the other person's interests as important as or more important than your own, and in romantic relationships there is passion.
liking is enjoying the other person.
What are the three ways in which an LDDR can be defined?
1. you are unable to see your partner everyday if you wanted to.
2. you're in different geographic areas.
3. if you believe you are in a long distance relationship, then you are.
What aspect of LDDRs were Stafford et al. (2006) interested in examining?
the positive and negative turning points of the relationship.
interested in the differences between LDDRs that had been reunited and then broke up and LDDRs that had been reunited and stayed together.
Be able to name and explain two of the positive relational changes associated with reunions and two of the negative changes associated with reunions that Stafford et al. (2006) found in their study.
POSITIVE
1. indivs get to spend more time together and see them in daily life.
2. realization of their partner's positive characteristics.
NEGATIVE
1. scheduling conflicts, 2 previously separate lives coming together and competing demands
2. realization of partner's negative characteristics
How is a FWBR defined?
the "partners" don't define the relationship as romantic, and the relationship takes elements from friendship and a sexual relationship.
Name and explain any three rules for maintaining a FWBR.
1. sex rules (eg safe sex)
2. secrecy (eg should we tell anyone?)
3. emotional (eg don't get too emotionally attached)
4. permanence (eg how long the FWB will go on for)
5. friendship: how the friendship will be maintained
Explain the influence that the social network has on FWBRs. Did most participants in Hughes et al.’s (2005) study report telling their same-sex friends about the FWBR?
if friends dissaprove of the FBW, the relationship will likely end soon after.
if friends approve of the FWB, the relationship generally got better.

half of the participants told their same sex best friend.
storge
love based on friendship
-ppl w/ this love type are looking for someone to be their best friend and lover.
-couples w/ this love type share common interests, do everything together.
pragma
practical love
-love based on a check-list: i need this and this in a person.
-based on a financial agreement, or the other person enhances your life plan.
-mind over heart
ludus
playful love
-see love as a game, once its not fun anymore they're over it
-not looking for long term relationship
eros
passionate, erotic love
-intense
-when they're in love, it takes over their life
-believe in love at first sight
-fall deeply in love very quickly, and many times.
agape
selfless love
-unconditional love
-give give give
-can easily turn into a push over
mania
crazy love
-obsessive
-roller coaster
-lacks a sense of security in the relationship
What is modality switching?
when a relationship switches from one communication channel to another.
eg from online to offline, online to telephone, etc.
Explain the effect of modality switching that social presence theory predicts.
online relationships don't allow for nonverbal cues, and so there are not as many comm modes-- relationship isn't as strong or as high of quality as FTF.

When you switch into an offline relationship all those cuse that were absent before need to be filtered.
Explain the effect of modality switching predicted by the hyperpersonal perspective.
in an CMC (computer mediated communication) relationship, each person is idealized and you can make yourself seem more attractive, and when the CMC turns into FTF, the relationship diminishes.
Explain the main findings from Ramirez and Zhang’s (2007) study.
only online (CMC) relationship without a modality switch reported better relationship communication.
diads that switched earlier on were ok in the quality rating of their relationship. but diads that switched later on reported a decrease in quality.
What is relational maintenance?
-behaviors used by partners in an effort to stay together and to sustain the quality of the relationship
-spend the majority of our relational lives here
Name the relational maintenance strategies. Give examples.
1. positivity
2. openness (self disclosure)
3. shared tasks
4. assurances (about commitment)
5. shared social networks
6. advice (shows the other person's opinion matter and you trust their judgment)
7. conflict (learning how to manage conflict
Name three of Baxter and Wilmot’s taboo topics.
1. extra diadic activities (girl's night out, close opposite sex friends)
2. previous relationships
3. relationship rules/expectations
4. previous relational experiences w/in the current relationship that were negative.
5. the relationship itself.
Why is premarital conflict so important?
It predicts marital conflict.
Name three of Baxter’s methods for indirectly finding out relational information.
1. find out from friends/3rd parties
2. secret tests (put them in situation to see how they'll react)
3. trial intimacy moves (i love you..)
4. hypotheticals/ what ifs
5. fishing for compliments
Name and explain the three conflict patterns.
1. escalation: the argument becomes heated
2. demand-withdraw: 1 person is the demander, the other withdraws
3. withdrawal: both participants avoid conflict all together.
Be able to explain two conflict techniques used by satisfied couples and two conflict techniques used by dissatisfied couples.
SATISFIED COUPLES
1.able to exit negative affect cycles (using negative conflict tactics) more easily than dissatisfied couples.
2. isolate the issue at hand
3. still see the good in their partner and not take themselves so seriously.

DISSATISFIED COUPLES
1. cross complaining: going back and forth w/ different complaints
2. negative mind reading
3. meta conflicting: fighting about fighting
4. kitchen-sinking or gunnysacking: throw all issues into one convo
5. counter proposals: proposing to solve the problem in a different way the other suggested.
What is Gottman’s “magic ratio”?
5-1, 5 happy moments to 1 sad moment for relational satisfaction in marriage.
So what’s important is not how you conflict, but how often you do compared to positive ones.
Why is the “first big fight” so important?
it shows how the couple will turn out and shows how you will engage in conflict later on.
Why is the first big fight so memorable?
it's intensity and timing (it happens when you're beginning to escalate the relationship)
What three effects of the first big fight did Siegert and Stamp (1994) find in their study?
1. clarification of our feelings
2. provides awareness of interdependence in the relationship
3. introduces a thematic conflict- you'll keep disagreeing about the same topic/problem.