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11 Cards in this Set
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PassionateLove |
State of extreme absorption in another person; aka romantic love Characterized by intense feelings of tenderness, elation, anxiety, sexual desire & ecstasy |
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Companionate love |
Friendly affection and deep attachment based on extensive familiarity with the loved one Tolerance for another’s shortcomings and desire to overcome difficulties & conflicts |
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Sternberg’s love triangle |
Proposed a theoretical framework for conceptualizing whatpeople experience when they fall in love Passion Alone= Infatuation Intimacy Alone= LikingCommitment Alone=Empty Love Intimacy & Passion= Romantic Intimacy & Commitment= Companionate love Passion & Commitment= Fatuous Love Intimacy, Passion, Commitment= Consummate Love |
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Proximity Similarity |
Geographical nearness of one person to another, which is animportant factor in interpersonal attraction Similarity of beliefs, interests and values, which is afactor in attracting people to one another |
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Reciprocity |
The principle that when we are recipients of expressions of liking or loving, we tend to respond in kind |
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Budziszewski’s perspective on the meaning of sex (two purposes, their definitions, and motivator) How is this tied to his perspectives on both gender roles and charity (both generally and erotic)??? |
Purposes: Procreation & union Motivators: Pleasure He believes there are issues with sexuality because we are nolonger making our decisions on sexuality based on natural law and natural lawssays that male and female should be the only two sexual partners He also saysthat males and females of a specific order (married, committed) should be theonly to have sex The reason for that is that he talks about two purposes andmotivator for sex: pleasure is a motivator but today it has become a purpose,if he see it as a purpose we’re going to get in trouble The two purposes he says are procreation are procreation andunion (calvin and luther, jewish)He has an idea about human relationships and sexuality andstarts with the broadest concept of charity as in love Love is not afeeling, but a combination of behavior and attitude. Activity of the mind andaction of the will to seek the best interest for another Then he moves from there to erotic charity, because charityis not emotional- is not passionate, but more akin to Sternberg’s commitment,one can promise erotic charity, to offer ones sexuality to one other person fortheir benefit and good, which would come as bi-product of procreation and union Romantic love cannot be promised, which has emotionalelements Enchantment is outside that circle which is lust, not seekingthe best for one another Hedefines charity as: attitude of mind (decision), activity of will (motivation),behaving for the good of others This is why he says you can promise love. Thebest parents act in charity toward their children even when they’re mad atthem Eroticcharity is the true good of the will to the other person to offering the bodyof the other person Eroticcharity is the Offering of one’s body to the true good of another Budz issaying that sex should be about the benefit to the other, so it would be anequal relationship if both partners tried to please the other person Ifpleasure becomes a purpose, then who is it really about, it’s not aboutpleasure only, it’s about |
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Whatfactors are involved in “Falling into Love”? |
Brain chemicals: norepinephrine, dopamine, PEA & endorphins Proximity, similarity, reciprocity and physical attractiveness |
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What is therelationship between love and sex? Gender differences on this??????? |
Some people engage in sexual relations without love [hook-ups: short term loveless sexual liaisons that occur during brief interval] Also, friends with benefits [sex with friends who don’t define relationship as romantic] Women view FWB as more emotionally involved, men see it as more casual, emphasis on sexual benefits |
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Does sexual intimacy deepen a relationship? Why or why not? |
When a relationship becomessexual before a couple has established a more generalized bond of intimacy---fostered by a growing awareness, understanding and appreciation of each other---the individuals involved can actually feel farther apart emotionally |
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Whatelements are important for a lasting love relationship? |
Self-acceptance, acceptance by partner, appreciation of one another, commitment, communication, realistic expectations, shared interests, equality in decision making and the ability to face conflict effectively Why is self-acceptance important??? |
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Gottman’s Constructive and Destructive Communication Tactics |
[[Constructive]] Leveling– thoughts and feelings shared clearly, simply, honestly Editing– limit conversation to relevant topics; attempt to be kind Validating– communicate appreciation of alternate viewpoint VolatileDialogue – some degree of conflict is essential [[Destructive]] Criticism– failing to utilize “I” language in favor of “You” language Contempt– degrading toward another, insults, sarcasm, names Defensiveness- excuses, denial, etc. Stonewalling– non-responsiveness Belligerence–provoking style |
