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70 Cards in this Set

  • Front
  • Back
A pattern of interaction that maintains a facade of mutuality and harmony that is often devoid of intimacy because the fear of conflict makes the experience of getting close to another too risky to undertake.
include apologies, humor, affection, and changing the subject.
repair attempts
Interactions that decrease the negative escalation of conflict. Examples of repair attempts include apologies, humor, affection, and changing the subject. These interactions are not necessarily related to the content of the argument but may simply provide a brief reprieve from it.
repair attempts
The expectations that people bring to relationships regarding how role tasks should be either allocated or executed.
role expectations
Patterns of interaction characterized by an unwillingness of either partner to give in to the other
symetrical relationship
Couples who maintain closeness and intimacy by listening respectfully to one another and confirming each other’s feelings
validating couples
Couples who can maintain a sense of connection and intimacy despite bitter arguments characterized by attacks, counterattacks, and fits of rage.
volatile couples
A pattern of interaction characterized by the willingness of one partner to defer to the other. One partner asserts a position and the other agrees.
complementary relationships
the tensions between family members that result from competing goals and strategies; like stress, conflict is neither good nor bad, but, rather, signals the need for a readjustment in patterns of interaction.
the goals that individuals bring to a conflict situation that influence their choice of conflict management strategies
conflict management goals
couples who live with the pain of unresolved problems due to minimization or avoidance of conflict and yet are able to remain close and intimate.
conflict minimizing couples
Distinguished by a degree of legitimacy, this term refers to an individual's efforts to control the behavior of another or the relationship. This term is legitimized when the authority of one partner is negotiated within the relationship. Nonlegitimate expressions of this term are manifested in efforts to control the partner or the relationship without the authority to do so having been agreed on by both parties
When a member of a couple initiates contact with the partner through ordinary coversation. The partner can respond to these bids by either "turning toward" the partner, "turning away" from the partner, or "turning against" the partner
emotional bids
when the benefits or rewards one partner derives from a relationship are comparable with those that the other derives. Relationships are experienced as inequitable when one partner derives greater benefits from the relationship than the other.
when the rewards derived from a relationship are proportional to the cost. That is, what partners get out of the relationship is comparable with what they put into it.
what is the difference between fairness and equity?
equity = when the benefits or rewards one partner derives from a relationship are comparable with those that the other derives

fairness = when the rewards derived from a relationship are proportional to the cost. That is, what partners get out of the relationship is comparable with what they put into it.
An emergency state resulting from an individual being emotionally and physically overwhelmed by conflict. At this point, it is impossible for individuals to take in information or respond to others.
What are the 3 horsement of the apocalypse?
patterns of interaction characterized by criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and withdrawal that results in increasing negativity and possibly the end of the relationship.
The emotional climate created by sucessful and happy couples that enables them to overide the negative effects that conflict creates in the relationship. This can also be thought of as a filter that colors how couples remember past events and view new issues.
positive sentiment override (PSO)
An emotional reliving of a person’s death each year around the time that the death occurred
anniversary reaction
The emotional response to a death felt throughout the family system, producing stress and altering relationships even among family members emotionally removed from the deceased.
emotional shock wave
A cognitive understanding of a death that helps the family to accept the pain of the loss and makes it possible for the family to evolve a new perspective that reestablishes a positive sense of control, fairness, and trust in the future.
healing theory
whn a child is conceived to take the place of a deceased family member, or when a surviving child is affirmed for traits that remind parents of the deceased child.
replacement role
grief that exist even though society does not recognize one's need, right, or capacity to grieve.
unrecognized or unsanctioned grief
A transition brought on by the death of a spouse
Successful adaptation to divorce includes... members accepting the divorce as final and gaining an accurate perspective on the factors that led to the divorce. 2.Another factor is the ability of former spouses to develop a nonblaming, cooperative, and nonconflicted relationship. Children must be helped to maintain close, one-to-one relationships with each parent, as this has the potential to facilitate greatly their adaptation following divorce
The fourth and final transition of the divorce process, during which the family clarifies its new internal and external boundaries, redefines its identity, stabilizes its emotional environment, and reestablishes strategies for managing the newly created household.
family reorganization
The first transition of the divorce process, which begins when a spouse first realizes that he or she is feeling dissatisfied or distressed in the marriage.
individual cognition
List the 4 stages associated with the transition of the divorce process.
1. individual cognition
2. ?
3. separation
4. family reorganization
When both parents continue to be parents to all of their children despite a divorce.
joint custody
a family system comprised of two active and involved aprents and 2 separate households
binuclear family system
confusion about who is in the family and who is not
boundary ambiguity
the legal parameters of each parent's relationship with the children that are established following the divorce.
child custody
the termination of the spousal role combined with the maintenance of the parental role and the sharing of responsibilities for one's children.
coparenting relationship
the legal termination of a marriage
a negotiation process designed to minimize divorcing couples' conflicts over personal, economic, or child-related differences by concretely examining their operations in a goal-focused and task-oriented manner, and making constructive decisions before appearing in court
divorce mediation
When one or both partners in a marriage-like relationship believe that the relationship suffers from serious, long-standing problems that threaten the stabliity of the relationship
marital distress
the third transition of the divorce process, which occurs when one spouse moves out of the home.
when one parent assumes complete responsibility for child care with the other parent generally receiving visitation rights and, in many instances, responsibility for child support.
sole custody
when one parent has legal and physical custody of one or more children, and the other parent has legal and physical custody of one or more other children.
split custody
When parents legally share responsibility for child care, parental decision-making, and economic support of their children following a divorce.
joint legal custody
when parents equally share the responsibility for providing their children with a residence. The term is used to distinguish between this arrangement and joint legal custody, which involves shared parental decision making and economic support, and a situation in which children generally reside with one parent most of the time.
joint physical custody
a role assumed by a child (often a daughter or older child) requiring him or her to take responsibility for parenting other children (or the parent) in the single parent family system
parental child
the role assumed by a single parent that involves accepting complete authority and responsibility for the household and all related tasks, and enlisting the help of others when needed, without allowing them to take over. That is, the parent accepts that the single parent household can no longer operate as it did when two parents were present.
sole administrator
an initial stage in the process of remarriage that provides time to resolve issues related to the earlier divorce of one or both partners and a gradual introduction of the new stepparent into the present single-parent system.
courtship and preparation
the second stage of the process of remarriage begining immediately after the remarriage, during which the system typically remains divided primarily along biological lines.
early remarriage
term that refers to the lack of norms and institutionsl supports for stepfamilies.
incomplete institution
the fourth and final stage of the remarriage process, marked by a greater sense of shared intimacy and authenticity in family relationships. Restructuring is now complete, and the family is characterized by flexibility in roles and interactional patterns. Personal one-to-one relationships take precedence over disruptive triangles and coaltions.
late remarriage
a remarried family system that includes the households of both biological parents (perhpas other stepparents, siblings, and stepsibblines) biological relatives (like grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) and steprelatives (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins).
metafamily system
the third stage of the remarriage process during which the structure of the family will gradually undergo change.
middle remarriage
a family in which one or both partners bring children into the household, resulting in the presence of both biological and nonbiological parents.
• Understand the underlying sources of conflict in marriage discussed in the chapter and in class
-role expectations & conflict
-the competing needs for connectedness and separateness
-fairness, equity, and conflict

(Areas for conflict include:
Lack of quality time
Real or perceived inequality in division of labor
Disagreements about childrearing
Financial struggles
Lack of sexual satisfaction
Prior traumatic experiences
Conflict can occur within gay, lesbian and heterosexual couples)
• Explain the differences between the three conflict management goals within couples
1. maintaining intimacy
Goal of maintaining intimacy will emphasize strategies where compromise and cooperation are important

2.eliminating conflict
Goal of eliminating conflict includes denial, avoidance of conflict and repression of anger, maintaining a pseudomutuality at all costs

3. Winning at all costs
Goal of winning will use power to control the partner at all costs; difference btw legitimate and nonlegitimate power? Non- the attempt to dominate the partner without his/her input
this conflict management goal is associated with the use of pseudomutuality
eliminating conflict
• Be able to identify some of the core concepts of Gottman’s work as discussed in class
Four horsemen

Body language
Attempts at repair fail
Memories are Bad

Harsh Setup
There is a strong relationship btw ____ and how partners feel about the relationship; there is a tendency to increase negative attributions when partners are stressed, which can lead to use of less constructive strategies for conflict management
There is a strong relationship btw how behavior is framed and how partners feel about the relationship; there is a tendency to increase negative attributions when partners are stressed, which can lead to use of less constructive strategies for conflict management
Be able to discuss why defining family violence can be difficult
At the heart of many of the debates concerning whether particular behaviors are are inconsistencies in the definitions of terms. Definitions of abuse, for example. varied in the extent to which they incorporate assumptions about causes (e.g., people hurt the ones they love are “sick”); effects (e.g., abusive behaviors are those that c: harm); motivations (e.g., abusive behaviors are intended to hurt rather than discipli: frequency (e.g., slapping is abusive only if it is chronic); and intensity (e.g., hitting i ai sive if it is hard enough to cause injury). Such definitions, which vary in their incluv.ness and differ within and across fields, influence the likelihood that individuals suhc::
to unwanted behaviors within domestic settings will receive interventions from the leci. medical, and/or social service communities.
Efforts to distinguish among terms such as violence, abuse, and maltreatment ha not led to any consensus. Definitions continue to vary in their inclusiveness (how broad. the construct is defined) and their abstractness (the extent to which they focus on cp - cific behaviors or define one abstract construct in terms of another).

One of the biggest debates in the field is whether corporal punishment should considered inherently abusive
• Explain the stages in the divorce process
Marital distress- one or both members believe their relationship suffers from serious problems that threaten stability

Decision to divorce
The individual begins to realize he or she is dissatisfied

Separation may occur as a transition stage

Legalizing the divorce may involve issues surrounding child custody, spousal support, or property/assets

Family system reorganization
Identity and structure must be redefined
Ex-spouses successful adaptation to divorce usually involves four factors. What are they?
Accepting the end of the marriage
Making peace with the ex-spouse
Understanding personal responsibility for marriage
After these three are completed, the individual should feel a readiness to move forward with life
What issues may come up concerning family structure during separation stage?
Boundary ambiguity
sources of support for single parents after divorce
Family of origin

Women typically keep friends made before the marriage, while men are more likely to join social clubs/activities
Mutual friends of the couple typically are not maintained

Dating Relationships
Men are much more likely to initiate new dating relationships sooner and derive more support than women
Intimacy and support are more likely derived from intimate relationships than any other type for men
• Identify some of the unique characteristics of stepfamilies
Stepfamilies have experienced multiple important losses that may not have occurred in nuclear families
All members come with histories that impact renegotiation of identity and structure
Biological parent-child bonds predate the couple relationship
A biological parent exists somewhere
Children often are members of two households
Restrictions on rights of stepparents toward children
The metafamily system includes all of those members that fall outside traditional boundaries of the family
• Explain tasks that single-parent households face, and how these differ by gender of the parent HOW DIFF BY GENDER?
Family stress is increased, so systems must balance demands with available coping resources
Family themes represent the interactions with each other, the outside world, and personal development
Changes in resources may impact the maintenance tasks
After divorce or separation, boundary tasks need to be renegotiated
Custody issues- joint legal vs. joint physical custody
Parental roles-sole administrator, parental child
Emotional maintenance strategies are difficult to maintain due to the loss of the structure and a lack of resources
• Explain the family system’s tasks in response to death, as well as some factors that could mediate that response
Family tasks in response to a death:
Shared acknowledgment of the reality of the death
Shared experience of the pain of grief
Reorganization of the family system
Reinvestment in other relationships and life pursuits

Several factors influence the family’s adaptation to loss of a loved one:
The nature of the death
Unexpected deaths are thought to be more stressful
Reasons for death may influence stress and support provided
The position of the deceased to the individual
The family’s history coping with previous losses
Level of differentiation in the family
Rigid patterns of interaction may make change difficult
Societal, cultural, ethnic, and religious value orientations towards death
Well-defined rituals may assist in reorganization
Unrecognized or unsanctioned grief
Timing of the death
Age and generational position
Co-occurrence with other stressors
• Understand the diversity within single-parent households
According to the 2004 US Census, 34% of all family groups with children were headed by single parents
26% of these were single mothers, 12% were single fathers
Ethnic group differences- 22% of white children, 34% of Hispanic children, and 62% African American children live in a single-parent household
• Identify and explain the stages of remarriage
Courtship and preparation for marriage
Resolution of previous marriage
Modification of the single-parent structure
Anticipation of remarriage
Early marriage- Myths vs. realities
Middle remarriage
Late remarriage
• Explain some of the conflict triangles that may occur within stepfamilies
Within the remarried system
Extended family
• Discuss advantages and disadvantages of children within stepfamilies
Advantage-may lift people out of poverty
Disadvantage-"incomplete institution" means stepparenting relationships are not as well defined and as close


financial stress
Lack of supervision

social stigma
Crisis of divorce

75-80% do not suffer psych probs, maintain close ties to families,and achieve goals
• Explain tasks that single-parent households face, and how these differ by gender of the parent
Gender differences- for women stresses for women are particularly pronounced (be/c w are paid less, need to arrange child care, may have irregular work history)
2.changes in employment status
3. change in source of income- not all mom's receive alimony

men have fewer parenting and financial responsibilites
• Explain the ways that spouses, children, and family systems as wholes adapt to divorce
Family of origin factors
Cultural/ethnic factors
pg 298