Gottman Method Couple Therapy

Front 1

Researchers have been able to predict the fate of marriages in three measurement domains:

Back 1

1. Interactive behavior

2. Perception

3. physiology

(the Core Triad)

Front 2

Define "gridlocked"

Back 2

When a perpetual conflict becomes destructive

Front 3

Escalating conflict marks couples likely to divorce, but what is the second pattern ALSO likely to predict divorce?

Back 3

A disengaged pattern with marked absence of both negative and positive affect.

Front 4

What are some of the characteristics of "gentle startup"?

Back 4

Accepting influence, compromise, low physiological arousal, humor, affection

Front 5

What is DPA (diffuse physiological arousal)?

Back 5

DPA includes sweating, increased heart rate, and other negative signs of physical arousal associated with a lack of ability to physiologically self-soothe.

Front 6

What is the basis for "dialogue" with a perpetual issues?

Back 6

Understanding (and dealing with) the core existential meaning of the dialogue.

Front 7

Define "dream within the conflict"?

Back 7

term referring to the core existential meaning underlying a perpetual conflict.

Front 8

What channel do Friendship Processes operate through in order to create effective repair of regrettable incidents and conflict?

Back 8

Sentimental overrides- positive or negative

Front 9

What three bi-directionally working systems need to be understood?

Back 9

1. Conflict

2. Friendship/intimacy/positive affect

3. Shared meaning

Front 10

Describe the Sound Relationship House Theory.

Back 10

1. Build Love Maps

2. Admiration and Fondness

3. Turn toward, not away

4. Positive perspective

5. Manage conflict

6. Life dreams come true

7. Shared meaning

Front 11

What is the role of the therapist in Guttmann's theory?

Back 11

Process consultant

Front 12

Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse

Back 12

1. Contempt

2. Criticism

3. Stonewalling

4. Defensiveness

Front 13

Prosocial functions of conflict?

Back 13

1. Culling out interactions that don't work

2. Helping to know one another as we change

3. Continually renewing courtship

Front 14

What percentage of couple conflicts are unsolvable?

Back 14

69%

Front 15

How do partners process regrettable incidents?

Back 15

1. Taking turns talking about their feelings

2. Taking turns describing subjective realities

3. Validating part of partner's reality

4. Admitting their role in the conflict

5. Talking about one way to make the conversation better next time

Front 16

Most of the time couples fight about...?

Back 16

Absolutely nothing

Front 17

Antidote to criticism? (stating a problem as a deficit in the partner's character)

Back 17

"I" statements and positively stated needs

Front 18

Antidote to defensiveness? (self protection through whining *"innocent victim stance", counterattacking *righteous indignation stance",

Back 18

Taking responsibility

Front 19

Antidote to contempt? (sarcasm, name calling, direct insults, correcting partner's grammar when one is angry, put-downs)

Back 19

respect

Front 20

Antidote to stonewalling? (emotional disengagement, male with heartbeat over 100bpm)

Back 20

self-soothing and staying emotionally engaged

Front 21

Define "processing a fight"

Back 21

being able to talk about it without getting into it again.

Front 22

what are the five central processes that make relationships successful?

Back 22

1. down-regulate negative affect during conflict

2. up regulate negative affect during conflict

3. build positive affect during conflict

4. bridge meta-emotion mismatch

5. create and nurture a shared meaning system

Front 23

what is the ratio of positive to negative in a good relationship structure?

Back 23

5:1; positive to negative

Front 24

Openness to information and energy as well as a heightened awareness to sensual responding and memories refer to...?

Back 24

savoring of positive affect

Front 25

contempt and disgust might have been the basis for the evolution of....?

Back 25

morality

Front 26

emotion coaching is about what?

Back 26

periodically taking one's partner's emotional temperature by asking a question such as "how are you? talk to me."

Front 27

steps for down-regulating negative affect during conflict (interventions)

Back 27

1. repair-processing fights and regrettable incidents

2. reducing 4 horsemen

3. blueprint for speaker and listener ("I" positive statements

4. problems solving/persuasion/compromise

5. blue print for perpeutal conflict/dreams w/in conflict

6. down regulating with physiological soothing

Front 28

steps for up regulating positive affect during conflict

Back 28

1. 5:1

2. emotional heirarchy: attention, interest, conversations, humor, affection, emotional support/empathy

3. turning toward bids

4. building love maps

5. savoring

6. daily stress-reducing conversations

7. build affection, good sex, romance, passionj

8. process failed bids for emotional connex

Front 29

steps for bridging meta-emotion mismatches and creating shared meaning

Back 29

build rituals

shared life goals

Front 30

what are the 2 most common errors of new therapists?

Back 30

1. not working in the moment due to being caught up in following prescribed methods

2. not understanding existential nature of the dreams within the conflict

Front 31

what does resistance reveal?

Back 31

where the person is stuck in his/her relationships

Front 32

how might resistance manifest?

Back 32

1. distrust of therapist

2. fear of intimacy

Front 33

Is Gottman time-limited?

Back 33

no generally not

Front 34

What are the six minimal beliefs?

Back 34

1. commitment is necessary

2. sexual/romantic exclusivity

3. no secrets, deceptions, betrayals

4. fairness and care

5. respect and affection

6. agreement in principle to try to meet another's wants and needs

Front 35

what are some of the theories Gottman draws upon?

Back 35

analytic, behavioral, existential, emotionally focused, narrative, systems

Front 36

emotion dismissing people value action over...?

Back 36

introspection