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234 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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EXCHANGE THEORY |
•The dating world is a Marketplace •What are you looking for and whatdo you have to offer? •Everyone wants a good deal, a fairdeal a bargain |
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Filter Theory |
•we shift eligible people through our own personal filter according to our criteria of what’s important and what we want and narrow the field |
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Homogamy |
•most people date and marry someone from a similar background-generally oppositesdon’t attract |
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Propinquity
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•This refers to Geographic Closeness •People tend to date someone who lives or works near where they live or work •Long distance relationships don’t usually work |
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% of people meet |
•38%met at work or school •34%met through friends or family •3%met through the internet |
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Physical Appearance |
•We choose people whose physical attractiveness is similar to our own •More pressure on women to Look Good |
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Halo Effect |
•Physically attractive people are assumedto have other desirable social traits we think they are warmer, sexier,happier, more successful |
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Race and Ethnicity -forbidding interracial marriage |
•Several states had laws forbidding interracial marriage until the Supreme Court ruledit unconstitutional in 1967 •More interracial dating and marriage today but still not supported in many parts of the US •Many ethnic groups don’t support their children going outside the group to date |
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stronger religious effect on marriage |
•The stronger your religious ties the less likely you are to date someone from outside your religion •In some religions marrying outside the group means you are no longer accepted by the group and possibly by your family |
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Other Factors on marriage -Age -Social class -Education |
•Age-In US couples are usually close in age 5 years or less with the man usually older but more likely to see an older man with a younger woman •Social Class- Most people marry others within their social class •Education– Most marry others with similar education level |
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Values and Personality |
•Though dating and self disclosure you find out how compatible you are BUT People often overlook differences thinking it won’t matter or the other person will CHANGE |
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Heterogamy |
•Refers to dating or marrying someone from a social, ethnic, religious or age group different from your own |
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Hypergamy |
marrying up socially |
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Hypogamy |
•marrying down socially |
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Theories of Mate Selection |
•Exchange Theory •Equity Theory |
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Equity Theory |
•extension of exchange that states that people stay together if they perceive it asequitable- mutually beneficial |
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The Principle of Least Interest |
•The person who is less interested in maintaining the relationship is less dependantand has more power and control |
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Types of controlling behaviors/How Abusers Control Dating Relationships |
•Jealousyand blaming •Coercionintimidation and threats •Isolation •Physical,emotional, verbal and sexual abuse |
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women's feeling to abuse in marriage
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•Many women interpret violence as an expression of love •Violence in dating is rarely a one time thing. |
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Acquaintance Rape |
•someone you know (dating, a classmate, co-worker, employer, family member, spouse, counselor, therapist, religious official or medical doctor.) |
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Date rape |
•more likely than rape by a stranger Alcohol and drugs often play a role in date rape (Date rape is a form of acquaintance rape. The two phrases are often used interchangeably, but date rape specifically refers to a rape in which there has been some sort of romantic or potentially sexual relationship between the two parties.) |
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Misogyny |
- hatred of women |
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•Types of Singles |
Voluntary temporary Voluntary stable Involuntary temporary Involuntary stable |
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•Voluntary temporary |
they want to be single now and eventually expect they will marry |
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•Voluntary stable |
- Don’t want to be married |
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•Involuntary temporary |
- Seeking a mate but haven’t found one yet |
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•Involuntary stable |
- Would like to marry but accept it probably won’t happen |
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Why More Singles? |
•1.Postponing marriage—Why? :War,technology, social movements, economics •2.Society has become more accepting of being single especially women. •3.More affordable today to live as a single •4.Women live longer and end up alone •5.More couples live together without being married and are considered single |
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Demographic Influences on Marriage |
•The Marriage Squeeze •The Marriage Gradient |
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•The Marriage Squeeze |
a sex imbalance in the ratio of available unmarried men to available unmarried women |
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•The Marriage Gradient |
women tend to marry men who are more successful so women atthe top economically have fewer choices and men at the bottom are lessdesirable |
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Personal(micro) Issues |
•Waiting for your soul mate •Being Independent •Fear of commitment •Fear of Divorce •It’s easier and more acceptable today to be a single parent by choice |
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Cohabitation |
•Not married living together in a sexual relationship! •1960 0.4 lived together---2008 7million •Today at least 60% of couples live together before marriage, in 1960 the % was almost0 |
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•TYPES OF COHABITATION |
•Dating Cohabitation •Premarital •Trial Marriage •Substitute Marriage |
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•Dating Cohabitation |
may drift into it out of dependency orconvenience may lead to serial cohabitation |
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•Premarital |
- testing the relationship |
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•Trial Marriage |
- similar to premarital but these couples are less serious and want to see what it’s like to be married |
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•Substitute Marriage |
- a long term commitment with no plan or desire to marry |
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who does Cohabitation? |
• Most are between ages 25 & 44 |
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Different age of Cohabitation |
•Younger cohabitants see living together as a step towards marriage •Older cohabitants often have been married before and see living together as analternative to marriage
•For elderly- marriage is a bad deal economically so living together is a betterchoice |
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Cohabitation rate |
•By age 30 half of all US women have cohabited •Highestrates-American Indians/Native Alaskans and African Americans •Lowestrates- Asian Americans •Socialclass- higher rates among people at lower end educationally and economically •Religion-stronger ties to religion = lower rates |
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Benefit of cohabitation |
•Emotional security but independence •Canend the relationship easily •Helps people find out compatible they are •Noin-laws (公婆) •Children are better off than in a single parent home |
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Cost of cohabitation |
•Women do more housework •Weaker commitment •Less happy •Higher alcohol abuse •More infidelity •Weakens intergenerational ties •Don’t have legal rights |
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Why doesn't cohabitation work better? |
Selection Effect Cohabitation Effect Inertia Effect |
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•Selection Effect |
•People who cohabitate have different characteristics. Some have more personal problems making them poor marriage partners. •They tend to put less into the relationship |
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•Cohabitation Effect |
•The relationship requires less commitment and may feel temporary and it is difficult to transfer that to marital commitment. •Serial cohabitation is particularly bad- women who cohabit 2 or more times have adivorce rate 141% higher than those who do it only once. |
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•Inertia Effect |
They drift into commitment |
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Impact of cohabitation on Children |
•Worse outcomes even when both parents are their biological parents •More domestic violence •More likely to be poor particularly when there is a break up •They have more academic problems, more emotional and behavioral problems •Breakup rates for parents of children younger than 16 who are married =33%Cohabitating parents = 75%• Theserelationships are less stable and more stressful |
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Cohabitation and the Law |
•7states have laws prohibiting cohabitation •Don’t have rights of married spouses •Inbreak ups there is little legal protection •Most property must be held separately not jointly |
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Same Sex Relationships come to cohabitation |
•Since same sex marriage is legal in only a few states most gay relationships have noalternative other than cohabitation •Most of these relationships are similar to heterosexual relationships except –thereis more violence in gay male relationships |
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Communal Living |
•Communal– collective households
•Range from cult like groups where there may be group marriage—everyone is “married”to everyone else in the group ---to frats and sororities where groups livetogether
•Most communal groups in the US don’t last and many violate US marital laws |
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•PrenuptialAgreements |
婚前协议 •Why do we want/not want a prenuptial? •Impact of prior divorce and children on a future marriage •Unequal wealth •Is it cynical to plan for your divorce settlement before you get married? •What goes into a prenuptial? |
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Whatin a Prenup? |
•Anything. •Almost always it covers financial issues in case of a divorce. •Divides what’s mine or yours going into a new marriage •May also define roles and expectations in the marriage- how much sex, who does thehousework, how many kids |
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Typesof Marriages Cuber& Haroffoffer 5 types of marriage that last, 3 areUtilitarian |
1.Conflict-habituated 2.Devitalized- 3.Passive-Congenial- 4.Vitalmarriage- 5.Totalmarriage – |
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Conflict-habituated |
•they fight, verbally and sometimes physically, they believe their fighting is worthit, that they are fighting for something and a way to solve problems eventhough problems don’t get solved. BUT they stay together and seem to thrive ontheir incompatibility. The fighting never causes them to consider leaving, theyare there to WIN the fight |
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Devitalized |
•Once they were deeply in love, now after years of marriage dealing with kids andlife there is no love or passion. They get along and stay because of obligationor inertia. |
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•Passive-Congenial |
- Low emotional investment in the marriage, low expectations, a partnership that works, they get many needs met elsewhere and are usually independent. |
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•Vitalmarriage |
- Lives are closely intertwined, they spend a lot of time together and resolve conflicts through compromise. They make sacrifices for the other. Sex remains important • |
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•Total marriage |
– Similar to vital but even more so—like to always be together may work together, share everything. Some people might find this too much togetherness. •Only 20% of marriages are vital or total |
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Factors that impact success |
Compatibility Flexibility PositiveAttitudes Communicationand Conflict Resolution EmotionalSupport |
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•Compatibility |
: Similar backgrounds but also similar personalities and styles.
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•Flexibility |
: Give and take, compromise. Rigidity usually leads to make-it-or-break-it situations. You need to pick your fights and know when to defer. |
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•PositiveAttitudes |
: Spouses who like each other have happier marriages- which is why couples who quickly “fall in love” and marry don’t do so well. Having a foundation based on like is often stronger than love. |
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•Communicationand Conflict Resolution |
Conflicts that are unresolved resurface again and again and couples have shorter and shorter fuses. |
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•EmotionalSupport |
: More important than romantic love |
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HealthBenefits of Marriage |
•Happily married men are healthier than men who are unhappily married, divorced or nevermarried •Married people have lower rates of Cancer, heart disease, stroke, TB, suicide, car accidents, depression, anxiety, Mostunhealthy are single men |
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Two effect people are healthier in marriage |
Selection Effect Protection Effect |
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•SelectionEffect |
- The opposite of selection in cohabitation. It is assumed people who marry are healthier, have a better psychological profile and are attracted to other healthy people. |
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•ProtectionEffect |
Marriage provides emotional, social and financial support which supports good health. Also tends to decrease risky behaviors especially for men |
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EmotionalCapital |
-men benefit from the nurturing of their wife. Women often have other socialoutlets. |
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Gender and health in marriage |
•Women tend to be less happy and more prone to depression but live longer •Emotional Capital •Women often experience more stress because of the second shift |
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•Marital Burnout |
Marital Burnout(婚姻倦怠) – gradual deterioration of love and loss of emotional attachment. A process that takes years |
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MaritalQuality |
•Marriage doesn’t fix all your problems •Stressful marriages increase your personal stress |
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Wifework |
•¾ ofunpaid housework •Care taking of husband •Childcare •Meals •Extended family relationships •Sociallife •Everyone’s healthcare •Men have no specific family roles |
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MaritalRoles |
•men usually make fewer adjustments in marriage (and in parenting) so hismarriage may be better than hers. Men and women experience their marriagedifferently • Identity Bargaining |
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•IdentityBargaining |
- the negotiation that goes on between husbands and wives about the roles they play in their marriage |
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DomesticRoles |
•Men today do more housework but women still do the equivalent of 2 days more/week •Women who earn more money do MORE housework! •Why don’t women ask men to do more? •Fear it will impact their relationship •Men won’t do a good job |
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Marriage through the life course |
•Early Years: Adjustments •Taking on spousal roles- more of an adjustment for women •Setting boundaries with in-laws •Mymoney > Our money •Paying off old personal debts •First year a honeymoon? |
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Why children add stress and decrease the marital satisfaction? |
•Children require time and energy and money and decisions - this makes life morestressful and creates more conflict that didn’t exist prior to children—whichis why having a child to “save” a marriage is a bad idea •Adolescents (青春期) are usually the most stressful for parents because of issues of autonomy,clashes of values, issues of sex, alcohol, drugs, driving |
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Marriage at Midlife |
•In-lawclashes usually between daughter-in-law •Empty Nest Syndrome-when all the kids have left home—can be good or bad for marriage •Boomerang Generation-Children who leave home and then return– often very stressful for everyone |
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Empty Nest Syndrome- |
•whenall the kids have left home—can be good or bad for marriage •Emptynest in marriages that are good give the couple a chance to be alone again andoften there is an increase in marital satisfaction •Forcouples who have used the children to avoid dealing with each other and maritalproblems there is suddenly no buffer or distraction |
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Boomerang Generation- |
•Children who leave home and then return– often very stressful for everyone |
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Marriage in Later Life |
•Ifit’s lasted this long it’s often a good relationship •Retirement-Can people afford to retire? •Isretirement good for you? •Physicaldecline is the biggest issue and ultimately death |
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Women’s Speech |
•Toestablish and develop relationships •Toestablish equality •Askquestions-probe •Morepersonal and concrete •Moretentative |
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Men's speech |
•Instrumental-goaldirected •Exertingcontrol •Lesspersonal info and less empathic •Conversationaldominance •Moreabstract |
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Communication Problems |
•Not Listening – too focused on making your point •Cross-complaining-One persons complaint is responded to with a counter complaint •Blaming-criticizingnagging- The you never…. •Scapegoating-blaming others for our problems •Coercionor contempt •The Silent Treatment |
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•Whatdo Couples Fight About? |
-Money -Housework -Sex |
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Conflict Resolution |
•FairFighting- DON’T: •Attack,Issue Ultimatums, Curse and Name call, Make Threats (physical, threats toleave) |
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4 types of conflict resolution |
•Accommodation- Oneperson submits •Compromise –Find a middle ground •Standoff-Agree to Disagree •Withdrawal- Oneperson refuses to continue or actually leaves |
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How Do Couples Decide on having kid? 4- types |
•Planners-actively discuss the timing, it’s a joint decision and they are jubilant •Acceptance-of-fate-pleasantly surprised by a pregnancy that is not actively chosen. •Ambivalent couples- mixedfeelings before and after conception but agree to have the child •Yes-No couples- onewants the child the other doesn’t |
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Costs and Benefits on having kids |
•Most couples believe life would be incomplete without children •Some marry because they want to have children •Itis more stressful than most realize •It’smore demanding and more expensive |
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Pregnancy: 1stTrimester
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•most likely trimester to experience morning sickness, anxiety about the fetus ( the term used from 8 weeks tobirth) |
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Pregnancy: 2ndTrimester |
- quickening-feeling the fetus move, usually the mother feels more energy and morning sickness has ended |
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Pregnancy: 3rdTrimester |
- Usually when weight is gained, water retained the body is getting ready for birth |
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Postpartum Depression- |
•15% of mothers-within one year after birth but usually very soon after birth |
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Fertility Rates(生育率) |
•Rates were down most of the 20th century except the 1950’s, and recently there appears to be an upturn. Why thedownturn? •Improved contraception •Lower mortality rates •Women delayed pregnancy •Economy |
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Postponing Pregnancy |
•Babies vs. Career •1970 4% of mothers had their first child after age 30 •Today it has increased dramatically •Older parents have advantages and some disadvantages |
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Infertility |
•Infertility –inability to conceive after 1 year of trying •40% problems with the woman, 40% problems with the father, 20% idiopathic- no identifiable cause •Usually the focus is on the woman |
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Female Infertility |
2 Major causes—failure to ovulate,blocked fallopian tubes PID- pelvic inflammatory diseasecause by STI’s particularly Chlamydia Endometriosis- problems with thelining of the uterus Weight loss---anorexia |
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Male Infertility |
•Sluggishsperm or low sperm count •Injuries,infections, •Excessiveuse of drugs and alcohol •Tight underwear! •Too much time in the sauna or steam room •WHY,if the temperature of the testicles gets too high it interferes with spermproduction |
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•Impact of Infertility: |
•Women-an unanticipated life crisis. Many women have the idea of being a mother aspart of their sense of self to be unable to do so feels like a failure •Fear how others will view them •Impactstheir social comfort |
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Impacton marriage: Blame who is at fault? |
•Usually assume it’s the women men are reluctant to be tested, can impact their sex life •Becomes socially isolating •Forcesthem to make a decision: try fertility treatments, adopt, choose to remainchildless |
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Artificial Insemination- |
• Artificial Insemination(人工授精)-easiestleast costly treatment usually the first choice. First done in the 1970’s
•Husbandssperm is collected and injected artificially into the vagina or uterus at thetime of ovulation •Successrate is about 20% •Ifthe husband’s sperm is not viable you can get donor sperm at a sperm bank |
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Fertility drugs |
•Medicationused to stimulate the ovaries- can cause multiple births and may lead toselective reduction – an abortion of some fetuses to give others a betterchance for survival •Successrate 50-70% •Fertilitydrugs are used when the problem is primarily the woman’s and artificialinsemination is used for low sperm count and sluggish sperm |
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IVF- In Vitro Fertilization- |
•IVF- In Vitro Fertilization- eggs are surgically removed andfertilized with the man’s sperm in a petri dish, then implanted in the uterus. (体外授精) •Successrate about 30% •Expensive$25,000 +, time consuming, painful physically and emotionally – not foreveryone•Oftenhas an impact on the marriage particularly the sex life of the couple |
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Surrogacy |
if the woman is not able to carry apregnancy another woman is either artificially inseminated with the husband’s sperm or with one of these other combinations (代孕) |
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Types of Infertility Treatments |
Artificial Insemination Fertility drugs IVF- In Vitro Fertilization Surrogacy Adoption |
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Types of adoption |
•Public – agencies v Private use of lawyers and private agencies •International •Transracial •Same– sex adoption •Closed adoption •Open adoption •Semi-open |
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•Closed adoption |
- records of the adoption are sealed |
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Open adoption |
- there is sharing of information and even contact between adoptive and biological parents |
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•Semi-open |
– information is shared but there is no direct connection between the biological and adoptive parents |
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History of Abortion |
•Spontaneous abortion = miscarriage •Abortion was not illegal inthe US until the mid 1800’s and was not specifically forbidden by the CatholicChurch until 1869! •Madelegal again in Roe v Wade 1973 •Highest abortion rate was 1990 and has been decreasing since •Many reasons for having an abortion but since 1987 the most often cited reason isfinancial instability |
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How safe is Abortion |
•Infirst 12 weeks safer than driving a car •Later there is an increase in risk but still relatively safe •The public is split fairly evenly into supporters of right to life v right tochoose •EmergencyContraception- Abortion or Contraception(避孕)? •pill should be take Morning after- within 72 hours |
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Abortion Restrictions(限制) |
•Most states allow doctors and hospitals to refuse to perform abortions •Many states have restrictions designed to delay and possibly convince a woman not tohave an abortion |
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•Role Strain |
- Conflict within a role |
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4 reason for role strain |
1. Unrealisticrole expectations 2.Decreased Authority: 3.Increased Responsibility: 4. High Parenting Standards: |
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Unrealistic role expectations |
•We often measure our success or failure as a patient based on the success orfailure of our kids |
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Decreased Authority |
•Many parents today feel they don’t have the respect and authority parents had in thepast-impact of schools, TV, laws |
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Increased Responsibility |
•Newlaws on drinking and parental responsibility. Parents held responsible for kidsbehavior |
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High Parenting Standards |
•Today we expect more from parents- their involvement with their kids school work,preparing them for college, using medical and emotional resources |
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Motherhood |
•Assumption a woman automatically knows how to be a good mother •Today more stress and role conflict as most mothers work outside the home •Often there is a gap between the ideal romanticized view of motherhood and the realdaily stress of being a mother •Generally mothers experience more stress and role conflict as a parent |
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Fatherhood |
•Menalso experience stress and role conflict as we expect them to be more involvedas a parent •Havinga child may increase stress to be a breadwinner(养家糊口) •Discomfort dealing with small children •Wivesless available |
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•George Herbert Mead- Theory of SocialSelf |
•Self develops out of social interaction •Believedin tabula rasa blankslate without inborn predispositions •Learnsat first through imitation •Generalized other peoplenot close to the child but who influence child’s socialization-teachers |
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Piaget’s Cognitive Development |
•Howdoes the child accommodate and adapt•Learning,understanding and interacting is different at different stages •4stages of development based on age and increasing complexity in interactingwith the world•Allchildren go through all 4 stages at similar ages and in the same order |
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Erikson’s Psychosocial Theory |
•8stages of development that don’t end with childhood but continue through theentire life cycle •Eachstage presents challenges and tasks •Howyou deal with the challenges will impact how you enter the next stage |
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Myths about Babies |
•1.You can tell their IQ in infancy •2.More stimulation is always better •3.Picking up a crying baby spoils them •4.Specialtalents surface early or not at all •5.Parental conflicts don’t affect babies because they can’t understand |
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Over medicating and Over programing |
•Theimpact of the DSM •Autism,ADHD, developmental disorders, depression, •Inhalersfor everyone •Specialneeds and special education |
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Parenting Teens |
•Autonomy-moodsand hormones(自主-情绪和激素) •Rolestrain for parents and impact on marriage•Helicopterparents– micromanaging •Parentsas role models •teensneed to learn to make decisions and develop impulse control and judgment |
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Parenting in later Life |
•Parentingnever really stops •Todaymany adult children rely on parents for financial help and caretaking ofchildren |
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Gay and Lesbian Parents |
•Moregay and lesbians are becoming parents today •Lessstigma, many states allow adoption, also ART and surrogates •Theyface similar parenting issues •Childrenof gay parents are no more likely to be gay than children of heterosexualparents |
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4 Types of Parenting Styles |
Authoritarian- Permissive- Authoritative- Uninvolved- |
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Authoritarian |
•lows upport-high control •Demandingrigid punitive |
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Permissive |
•high support-low control •Indulgent-fewrules |
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Authoritative- |
•high support- high control •Rulesbut responsive emotionally |
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Uninvolved- |
•low support-low control •Rejecting-indifferent |
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•Latchkeykids |
- kids who let themselves into their home after school and have no supervision |
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poverty line |
•The minimum level of income that the government considers necessary for basicsubstance—food-clothing, shelter •In 2008 for a family of 4 = $21,834 •Feminization of Poverty |
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Women and Work |
Work longer into pregnancy andreturn to work faster 58% return to work within 3 months Why they work: - EconomicPersonal satisfaction |
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4 Types of working Mothers |
Captives- Conflicted- Copers- Committed- |
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Captives |
•Wantto be full-time homemakers but can’t |
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Conflicted |
•Conflicted about work/family and often leave the workforce if they can |
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Copers |
•Compromise by continuing to work often p/t or with flexible hours |
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Committed |
•Want a career and usually rely on childcare |
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Variations in work/family |
•Two-person single career- one person usually the woman is involved in helping the other promote their career •Stay-at-home Dads-Often a temporary situation: •Benefits-more involvement with the kids•Costs-social isolation, criticism, loss of self esteem |
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•Dual Earners v Dual Career |
•Dualcareer both are committed to a career path that often is related to advanceddegrees while dual income earners are about 2 salaries which might be moreflexible although lower paying (双职工家庭) |
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Trailing Spouses |
•Onespouse gives up his/her job because their partner needs to move to advancetheir career—usually the woman is trailing |
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Commuter Marriages- |
•worktakes one person away for extended periods- may be during the week or severaldays per week or longer periods
•26%of women earn more than their husband•Surprisinglythis has little impact on marital power except there may be more equity indoing housework or childcare- but these women still take on more than 50% ofthe responsibility |
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The workplace |
•Inequality: •Paygap- women earn less for the same work•Glassceiling •Mommypenalty- women get paid less because they can be mothers = a poorer work risk •Comparableworth- equal pay for equal work |
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Pregnancy Discrimination Act- |
can’t fire, demote, or penalize forpregnancy- in companies with 15 or more workers- |
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•Familyand Medical Leave Act FMLA-1993 |
•12weeks of unpaid leave for birth, adoption, seriousfamily or personal illness—companies with more than 50 employees |
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FMLA |
•60%of workers work for companies smaller than 50 employees so they are not covered•Fewmen take advantage of the law•Manycan’t afford unpaid leave•Nogovernment policy on childcare or elder care |
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Types of Abuse |
Physical Abuse Sexual Abuse Emotional abuse |
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Physical abuse |
•–One person hurts or tries to hurt another physically |
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Sexual Abuse |
•–Forcing another to take part in a sexual act |
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Emotional Abuse |
•Threatsor any attack on another's self worth |
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Prevalence of Abuse |
•Leadingcause of death in women age 15-44•Homicideranks second to auto accidents as the leading cause of death of pregnant womenor new mothers•Theleading cause of death in babies is homicide•Mothersare the most likely to commit homicidesof babies |
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Violent Households |
•Bothmen and women can be batterers but generally more male •Mostare young, poor, unemployed, are cohabitating or separated (not married) abusedrugs/alcohol, and have grown up seeing violence in their home •Notlimited to these groups and cuts across all socioeconomic groups but economicstress adds to the stress in the home |
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Marital Rape |
•Difficultto prove because sex is a normal and expected part of marriage •Pressurefrom feminists groups got recognition of this problem and led to lawsprohibiting marital rape –first laws 1990’s •Moststates have a part of the law called The Marital Exemption – this states it isonly rape if the couple is divorced or separated |
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Cycle of Violence |
•Battered–woman syndrome •Phaseone: Tension-building •Phasetwo- The explosion –acute battering•Phasethree – Calm The honeymoon phase•LenoreWalker created this idea of 3 phases•Shealso discussed the concept that women who are consistently battered develop“learned helplessness” and feel trapped with no options |
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Why Women Stay even there is abuse in marriage? |
•Lowself esteem •Beliefthe abuser will change •Economicdependence •Needfor child support •Shame/guilt—blamingthemselves •Fear |
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Women as Abusers 2 types |
•Intimateterrorism- the man is the abuser •Situationalcouple violence – either the man or woman is abusive- the violence is theresult of constant conflicts that escalate and become violent |
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Child Maltreatment |
•Aterm that has replaced Child Abuse but means the same thing. It includes: •PhysicalAbuse •SexualAbuse •Neglect •EmotionalAbuse |
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Maltreatment |
•PhysicalAbuse includes any behavior that results in physical injury to a child •Sexualabuse includes not just intercourse but any sexual behavior between an adultand a child •Neglectis failure to provide basic necessities•Emotionalabuse is criticism and verbal abuse that impacts a child’s emotionaldevelopment and self esteem |
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Characteristics of Abuse |
•Neglectis the most common form of maltreatment •Childrenunder 1 yr. represent 12% of all abuse•80%of abusers of children are their parents, more often the mother •Homicideis the leading cause of death of infants 70% by one or both parents more likelythe mother |
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Sexual Abuse of kid |
•Thefocus is on sex offenders and pedophiles but 90% of sexual abuse is perpetratedby family or friends of the family •95%of offenders were men •Mosttypical age for being abused- 8-12 years old |
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what cause sexual abuse ? |
•Areabusers mentally ill? Rarely •Substanceabuse- higher risk •Stress-People who have poor parenting skills and can’t manage their own anger andfrustrations •Poverty-Best predictor of abuse. Poor families have a 22 X great rate of abuse andneglect•Partnerabuse- often there is abuse of both the partner and children |
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abuse impact on children |
•Impacton children – a wide range of emotional and behavioral problems, academicproblems, interpersonal problems, and an increased likelihood they will beinvolved in abusive relationships as adult |
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Sibling Abuse |
•Siblingconflict is so common that abuse is often overlooked忽视 by parents •Namecalling and ridicule •Degradation •Intimidation •Destroyingpersonal property•Sexualabuse- rarely a one time experience |
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Elder Abuse |
•Isolationfrom Family and friends •Notadministering medications |
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Theories of Violence |
Patriarchy-Male Dominance TheoryResource Theory- Exchange Theory- Ecological Systems Theory- Psychiatric Theory- Resource Theory- |
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Patriarchy-Male Dominance TheoryResource Theory |
•Patriarchy-MaleDominance Theory– believes cultural values that give men power and authorityand condones domestic violence will lead to women and children being theirvictims |
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Exchange Theory |
•theviolence exchange serves some benefit to both. Society uses the exchange theoryto try to limit violence by increasing the costs—jail |
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Ecological Systems Theory- |
•Attemptsto look at macro and micro systems– does music that is anti women promoteviolence against women? |
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Psychiatric Theory- |
•Beingviolent is not normal behavior but is it mental illness? Why do some peoplebecome violent and others in the same situation don’t? •Whatpersonal factors make someone violent?•Dowe all have a point where we become violent? |
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Resource Theory- |
Men with the fewest resources- money& education are most likely to resort to violence to assert their power |
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•SubstanceAbuse: |
•IllegalDrugs- Most popular- marijuana but many others including prescription meds-Vicodin, OxyContin, Adderall, and others •AlsoSteroids which can have long term effects sexually and in increasing cancerrisk •Alcohol- Binge drinking – 5+ drinks at least oneday in the last 30 |
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Heavy drinking- |
•bingedrinking at least 5days in 30 •Causesgreater damage to the brains of people under 25 •DUI •Substanceabuse is related to domestic violence, dating violence, date rape |
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Depression and Suicide |
•About15% of population suffers at least one major depressive episode- more womenthan men •Majordepression lasts at least 2 weeks and usually months or even years if untreated •Majordepression may lead to suicide •Malesuicide rate is 4x higher than females •Althoughwomen may make more attempts |
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Depression and Suicide 2 |
•Secondleading cause of death in 25-34 year olds •Manycauses – some are reactive to trauma- bullying break ups other losses, whilefor some depression and suicide seem unrelated to external events: •Mainsymptoms of depression: Loss of pleasure, change in eating and sleeping habits,fatigue, guilt feeling worthless, physical complaints |
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4 types of Eating Disorders |
Overweight and Obesity Binge eating Anorexia Nervosa- Bulimia |
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Overweight and Obesity |
•majorhealth concerns-type II diabetes, heart disease, high BP, strokes |
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Binge eating |
•mostcommon eating problem – the vast amount of food consumed causes many physicaland emotional problems |
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Anorexia Nervosa |
•refusalto maintain normal weight |
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Bulimia |
binge eating followed by self inducedvomiting excessive exercise fasting |
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Eating Disorder |
•90%of eating disorders are female•Almostall begin in adolescence or early adulthood •Manyare from middle class – affluent families•Manyare high achievers and perfectionists•Highrisk for serious medical problems and sudden death •Impactof American culture- models, dancers, athletes, Barbie •Geneticsmay play a role •Sexualabuse or discomfort with sexuality—•Anorexicsstop menstruating and lose secondary sexual characteristics•Controlissues |
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Learning Theory |
•Intergenerationaltransmission •Whatyou learn in the home |
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Separation in marriage |
•Separation-a temporary time out, a permanent agreement instead of divorce, or a phase inthe divorce process •(Skipthe Phases of Separation) •Separationand Reconciliation – only 10% of couples who separate get back together •Separationwithout Divorce- 6% never reconcile but never divorce•Separationmost often ends with divorce |
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The Process of Divorce |
Emotional Divorce Legal Divorce Economic Divorce |
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Emotional Divorce |
•EmotionalDivorce- The process where divorce begins. May last for months or even years. Aslow process of uncoupling, being disenchanted with the marriage, thinkingabout options, making a plan and finally addressing the issue |
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Legal Divorce |
•LegalDivorce – The formal ending of a marriage. Marriage is a legal contract sodivorce must also be a legal process ending the contract.•Thiscan be negotiated with or without a lawyer but the legal divorce must deal withall legal issues related to property, debt, alimony, child support, visitation-may take a very long time if it is contested |
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Economic Divorce |
•EconomicDivorce- How all money and property will be divided, how expenses will be paid |
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Types of divorce |
Coparental Divorce Community Divorce Psychic Divorce |
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Coparental Divorce |
custody and who pays for what- who haspower to make decisions? |
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Community Divorce |
•lettingthe world know about the divorce•Changingrelationship with married friends, and in-laws |
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Psychic Divorce |
•Lettinggo, getting past the anger and getting on with your life |
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No-fault divorce |
•madedivorce easier, no one to blame
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Economy divorce |
•badeconomy makes divorce harder, but males who don’t fulfill breadwinner role areless desirable, women work and are more self sufficient = more divorce 2/3 ofdivorces are initiated by women |
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Social Integration |
•SocialIntegration- has decreased as we have become a more mobile fewer roots in acommunity |
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•the role of Technology in divorce |
the internet makes divorce easier and less costly- also may lead to makingother social connections outside marriage |
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Micro Reasons of divorce |
•UnrealisticExpectations •Abusiveconflicted relationships •Infidelity •Communicationissues |
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Impacts of Divorce |
•Physical well-being- Stress of divorce often has a negative impact on well being •Psychological- the psychic divorce may go on for years with no resolution women generally tend to get depressed and men tend to have increased substance abuse •Emotional stress is greatest when there are young children to care for- women who divorce without children can move on more easily |
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Unrealistic Expectations- |
•idealizationof marriage- fewer kids-longer life means more expectations for the marriage |
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Conflict and Abuse |
•startsbefore marriage but often ignored |
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Custody |
•Courtmandated how children will live and be supported •Usuallynot contested most are settled out ofcourt •About80% of custody goes to the mother with arrangements for visitation |
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4 different types of Custody |
Sole Custody Split Custody Joint Custody- Joint Legal Joint Physical |
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Sole Custody |
•Oneparent usually the mother has sole responsibility for raising the child withnegotiations for other aspects of the child's life. |
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Split Custody |
Children are divided usually by sex boysgo with father girls with the mother |
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Joint Custody- Joint Legal |
•Legal- parentsshare decision making child still lives with one |
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Joint Physical |
•timeis divided between two homes based on court decisions |
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Co-Custody |
•Physicaland legal custody are shared equally •Prosand Cons of this arrangement•Increasedinvolvement of the father, better economically for the child •Confusionfor the children may increase parental conflict |
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Intergenerational transmission- |
•onegeneration’s divorce increases the likelihood of the next getting a divorce |
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Divorce Mediation |
•–Not an attempt to fix the marriage rather an easier way to discuss divorcesettlement |
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•Collaborative Divorce |
- Unlike Mediation both parties have lawyers present to negotiate |
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Stepfamily |
•Stepfamily-At least one of the spouses has a biological child from a prior marriage- todaywe expand this to include with a child from a previousrelationship who elect to marry or cohabitate. •Alsoreferred to as: Blended families, binuclear reconstituted •Somesee a stigma in the term stepfamily andstep mother |
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The Remarriage Process |
Emotional Remarriage Psychic Community- Parental Remarriage- Economic Remarriage- Legal |
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Emotional Remarriage |
•Theslow process of reengaging in a relationship and trusting again |
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Psychic |
•Achange in community fitting into established old relationships |
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- Parental Remarriage |
•Oftena very complex process of dealing with non-biological children in your home anda noncustodial parent. |
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- Economic Remarriage |
•Impactof non-biological children, noncustodial parent, whose money is whose? How isit shared? |
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Legal |
•Complicationsfrom prior divorce- impact on will, life insurance providing for children |
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Community |
•Achange in community fitting into established old relationships |
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NuclearFamily Myth- |
•Expectationthis new family unit will automatically feel close, love each other and thatnoncustodial parents won’t have an impact. |
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CompensationMyth- |
•Thenew mate will be everything the old one wasn’t |
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InstantLove Myth- |
•Assumes stepparents will have an instant authority and intimacy with their stepchildren. |
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•Rescue Myth |
- Stepparents think they will take over parenting and fix problems that existed |
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Characteristics of remarriage |
•The family structure is more complex•Theyface unique tasks •They face more stress and conflict•Familyintegration takes years •Important relationships end abruptly new ones develop suddenly •Lesscohesive •Unrealistic expectations •NoShared family history •LoyaltyConflicts •Rolesare often ambiguous |
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Step Family Cycle |
•1.Fantasy •2.Immersion •3.Awareness 4.Mobilization •5.Action •6.Contact •7.Resolution |
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•1. Fantasy |
•the early unrealistic expectations |
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•2. Immersion |
•Chaosand confusion as reality sets in with ambiguity of roles |
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•3. Awareness |
•Gettingto know each other |
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4. Mobilization |
•Oftena critical point either the family starts to face their problems or dissolves |
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•5. Action |
•Jointdecisions are made active attempts to form a family |
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•6. Contact |
•The marriage is solid and roles are clearly defined and the family is functioningas a family |
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•7. Resolution |
•Itis a family |
