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62 Cards in this Set

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Prepare Scale
Measures the degree of positive views about the relationship and the extent of partner agreement in 13 areas
Realistic expectations
Personality issues
Conflict resolution
Financial management
Leisure activities
Sexual relationship
Children and parenting
Family and friends
Role relationship
Spiritual issues
Couple relationship
Family of origin
4 types of couples
1) Vitalized- unrealistic, happily married
2) Harmonious-unrealistic, parenting, religion not important, happily married
3) Traditional-realistic views, religious, interpersonal problems, unhappily married/cancelled marriage
4) Conflicted-dissatified in all areas, cancelled marriage/separated or divorced
Characteristics of Marriage Readiness
Have studied and practiced spouse roles
Disengage from close relationships that might interfere with marital commitment
Accommodate premarital lifestyle to new marital relationship
Emotional maturity
Communication skills
Financial readiness-ability to support self and partner
Cuber and Haroff's Typology of Marriages
Represent different types of adjustment and different conceptions of marriage
1) Conflicted-habituated, conflict, tension, doesn't always lead to divorce
2) Devitalized-close at beginning, less overtime, some accepted it others didn't, this depends on stability of relationship
3)Passive-congenial, parnters get along but not emotionaly close, proities on outside things
4) Vital- close, some conflict, spend time together and apart
5) Total-sharing most or all conpondents together, rare
Huston research on the early years of marriage and marital outcomes
Study found large differences between couples on inital levels of love, conflict, ect
For those who remained married, early behavioral patterns persisted-Enduring dynamics
Divorace was best predicted by the loss of love and affection over time-Disillusionment
More likely to divorce if in love when married
Need realistic expections
Espically for those with very high inital levels
Culture socializes us for Marriage
There is a positive orientation for:
-Emphasis on romantic love
-Marriage is he most socially and legally supported way of engaging in romantic relationships
-Socialization experiences:
-Marriage-like experiences
-Pro-marriage messages
family of orientation
The family that one grew up in
family of procreation
The one formed by marrying and having children
Enduring Dynamics
Those who remained married, early behavioral patterns persisted
disillusionment
Divorce was best predicted by the loss of love and affection over time.
factors influence marital outcome
Stable personal characteristics
Stress Events
Relationship Characteristics
=
Marital Quality
Marital Stability
consanguineous relationship
conjugal relationship
Consanguineous-blood relatives
Conjugal-relatives acquired through marriage
endogamy
exogamy
Endogamy-marrying someone with in your group
Endogamy-marrying someone outside your group
Marriage
& a few legal rights conferred by marriage.
A legally recognized union between a man and a woman in which they are united sexually, cooperate economically, and may give birth to, adopt, or rear children.
Demand-withdraw pattern of communication
Female demand
Male withdraw
At times of stress in close relationships men tend to emotionally withdraw, while women do not.
report talk
rapport talk
Report talk-conversation aimed mainly at conveying information
Rapport talk-conversation to targeted at reinforce rapport or intimacy
four horsemen of the apocalypse
Fire=Negativity or hostility

Contempt
Criticism
Defensiveness
Stonewalling


Later one more was added
Belligerence
reasons for smaller family sizes and later first birth
Birth control
Careers
Children went form an asset earlier in history to a liability
Ect.
factors influence the decision to have children
Economic factors
Pressures form family members
Religious pressures
Social emotional costs and benefits
Societal expectations
steps lead to voluntary childlessness
1. Postpone for definite time period
2. then postpone indefinitely
3. Appreciate childlessness
4. conscious decision
5 domains that change for new parents
Identity and values
Shifts in marital roles and relationship
Shifts in intergenerational relationships
Changes in other roles and relationships
New parenting roles and relationships
Who is most likely to adopt a child?
Someone that is older, highly educated and has a high income. If it is a child that is not blood related
Blood related adoptions are likely as well
viewpoints on children changed from the 19th to the 20th Century
Previously, children were seen as miniature adults. Now, childhood is seen as a distinct stage of life. Children are viewed as innocent and in need of protection. Parents are responsible for providing time to play, education, and protection from the adult world.
four functions and responsibilities of parents
Providing basic resources
Protecting children (from threats of natural environment, other persons, groups, and institutions)
Guiding and supporting development
Advocacy
Name one factor that influences a parent’s ability to perform functions and responsibilities and give a specific example of it.
Personal and Psychological resources of Parent
Psychological well-being [personality characteristics, depression, emotional maturity], Financial Resources, Knowledge [skills related to childrearing]
Child Characteristics
Temperament [easy-going vs. difficult], Health, [mental or physical disabilities], Age, Gender
Contextual Factors
Marital Relationship, Informal Social support [friends and family], Parental work, Formal social support [church, social services], # of children in family
attachment
Attachment is an affectional bond that one individual forms for another over time and space.
It is important because the bond between child and primary caregiver is the basis for all future development.
Socialization
the process by which individuals learn the ways of a given society so that they can function effectively within it
main goal of discipline
To help children achieve inner control
two factors affecting fathers’ involvement with children
Motivation
Skills and self-confidence
Social support from spouse, family, friends
Institutional policies and practices
hierarchical parenting
Combining warm emotional support for children with a demand for significant respect for parents and other authority figures.
three predictors of parental satisfaction
Marital satisfaction
Family Structure
Parental Gender
How does the parent-child relationship change and stay the same during young adulthood?
The emotional bond remains the same. There are continued improvements in quality, but there is continuity with the earlier relationship.
effects of the “not-so-empty nest” on the family
Financial Strain on Parents
Strain on marital relationship & P-C relationships
Many negotiations required
predictors of satisfaction for the “not-so-empty nest” families
Parental
Conflict, gender, SES
Marital
M-C relationship
First marriage?
Boomeranging
When can stress and crisis occur during the “empty nest” period?
When the parent is over-involved in the child’s life.
If it was unanticipated.
If the family fails to reorganize the family relationships.
three predictors of parental satisfaction
Marital satisfaction
Family Structure
Parental Gender
How does the parent-child relationship change and stay the same during young adulthood?
The emotional bond remains the same. There are continued improvements in quality, but there is continuity with the earlier relationship.
effects of the “not-so-empty nest” on the family
Financial Strain on Parents
Strain on marital relationship & P-C relationships
Many negotiations required
predictors of satisfaction for the “not-so-empty nest” families
Parental
Conflict, gender, SES
Marital
M-C relationship
First marriage?
Boomeranging
When can stress and crisis occur during the “empty nest” period?
When the parent is over-involved in the child’s life.
If it was unanticipated.
If the family fails to reorganize the family relationships.
When can stress and crisis occur during the “empty nest” period?
When the parent is over-involved in the child’s life.
If it was unanticipated.
If the family fails to reorganize the family relationships.
indicators of relationship solidarity in the relationship between older parents and adult children
Geographical proximity
Contact between family members
Emotional Closeness
Similarity of opinions
Providing and receiving care
caregiving
Assistance provided to persons who cannot perform the basic or instrumental activities of daily life for themselves
factors that account for the level of strain when C provide care for their elderly parents
Level of care required
Type of impairment
Physical
Cognitive
Why has marital stisfaction been declining
Both sposes in work force, more stressed out
See more alternitives
Expect love, spend time togeter
High expections with more accepting view of breaking up
History of regulating who can marry whom
Loving vs. Vignina abloish interracial marriage as illegal
Federal Defense of Marriage Act
Denied federal recognition to same-sex couples and gave states the right to refuse to recognize guy or lesbian marriages should they gain legal recognitionm in other states.
Vermont Civil Union Law
state legislature either had to grant marriage rights to same sex couples or assure them a legal equivalent to marriage
Federal Marriage Amendment
Marriage shall consist only of the union of a man and a women
Children of guy couples
do not receive the same protections and benefits
lose right to live with parent if other parent dies
Practices to avoid
Fight evasion
Gunny-sacking
Kitchen skink fighting
Double messages
Mind reading
Spouse probing
Stereo typing
Invalidation
Transition often stressful
It's irreversible
Its a continuous coverage system
A lack of preparation
Idealistic romanticized ideas about parenthood
Suddenness of transition
Role conflict
Postpartum Blues
May occur during this time
Moodiness and irritability
Fatigue
Mild confusion
Causes:
Sleep patterns
Isolated from familiar world
Initial drop in hormones
Physiological stresses of birth
Finanical or emotional burdens
Can ease initial transition if:
Understand that some stress and fatigue is inevitable
Use sources of support
Communicate
Spend time together
The strange situation
Assess the quality of attachment between a child and a primary caregiver
Classification reflects quality of caregiving
Attachment Styles
Secure-if disstressed when caregiver leaves and is consuled when parent comes back.
Avoidant- Indifferent to whether caregiver is there or not
Anxious/Ambivalent- child seems insecure, always attached to parent, extreme distess not easily comforted
Disorganized-no response or overshelmed at strange situation, can come from child abuse
Conclusions about Attachment
How do we know attachment isn't just a product of temperament?
Different attachment to parents
Major change can affect attachment, while temperment doesn't change
Primary attachment determined by quality not quantity
Negative long-term outcomes only if no secure attachments
Principles for effective discipline
Occurs in context of a loving trusting relationship
Consistent appropriate and close in time
Applies external controls at first
Never threaten child's security or self-esteem
Factors influencing child's motivation to comply
Psychological Aggression as a form of discipline
Shouting, yelling is common
Much greater tolerance for this type of aggression
Importance of Father Involvement
Economic support
Authoritative parenting
Greater father involvement in play activities than care-giving activities
4 parenting styles
Authoritative-place age apporite limits, communication high levels of all dimensions
Authoritarian-hgih in maturity demands, little communciation, little warmth
Permissive Indulgent (Laissez-Faire)-High on warmth and communication
Little limits on behavior
little info on children's lives
Permissive-Indifferent (uninvolved)- low levels of all dimensions
Parents lives revolve around their needs
4 dimensions of parenting
warmth
maturity demands
communication
Nurturance
Satisfaction with Parenting
Satisfaction=Rewards+Costs (relative to comparrision level)
Rewards: the happiness I experience being a parent
Costs: the degree to which being a parent ties me down
Predictors of satisfaction:
Marital stisfaction
Family structure
Parental gender