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40 Cards in this Set

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How much waking time do we spend listening to others?
The average person spends 45 to 53% waking time listening to others.
How do poor listening skills affect our:

JOBS

CLASSROOM

PUBLIC COMMUNICATION
JOBS
When people don't listen well they may miss valuable info that can affect their professional effectiveness

CLASSROOM
Ineffective listening diminishes student learning and their test performance

PUBLIC COMMUNICATION
Leaves us unfamiliar with important issues and uninformed
How many HR professionals rank listening skills as #1 quality of effective management?
1000
What is the difference btwn LISTENING and HEARING?
HEARING is a physiological activity that occurs when sound waves hit our eardrum. We also recieve mssgs thru nonverbal behaviors (ASL, read lips).

LISTENING involves hearing and mindfulness, selecting and organizing info, interpreting communication, responding, and remembering.
LISTENING PROCESS involves (6 processes)

1 - D/ MINDFULNESS?
MINDFULNESS is focusing on what is happening in the moment and with the people with whom they are interacting.
2 ways MINDFULNESS enhances communication?
ENHANCES COMM by:
a) increasing our understanding of how others feel and what the think
b) Promotes more complete communication by others (will elaborate on theirs thoughts).
4 techniques to develop MINDFULNESS?
1 EMPTY YOUR MIND of thoughts, ideas, and plans so that you are open to listen

2 CONCENTRATE on the person with whom you are communicating

3 PUSH AWAY distractions or diversions

4 EVALUATE how well you listen
LISTENING PROCESS involves (6 processes)

2 - D/ PHYSICALLY RECEIVING COMMUNICATION?
Hearing sound, reading lips, ASL, and interpreting nonverbal behavior.
How to listen to someone who is hearing impaired?
When speaking w hearing impaired;
- Face the person
- turn off extraneous noise or visual cues (TV or radio)
- get proper sleep

-
How many words a minute can a person understand vs how many words can a person speak?
Person speaks at rate of 300 wpm and can understand 300 wpm. Leaves a lot of time to sort and interpret speech.
What is diff btwn way men and women LISTEN?
Women are more in tune to what is going on around them. They notice context, details, tangents, and themes.

Men focus, shape, and direct their communication in certain ways.
the LISTENING PROCESS involves (6 parts):

3 - D/ SELECTING and ORGANIZING INFO?
SELECTING involves how we select and attend to some aspects of communication and disregard others.

ORGANIZING is how we organize the stimuli which we attend.
D/E of LISTENING BIAS in process of SELECTING/ORGANIZING INFO?
D/ We are more likely to notice info that is intense, loud, and unusual.

E/So men may get more attention fr listeners b/c they tend to speak more assertively
D/E 4 COGNITIVE SCHEMATA which we use to ORGANIZE INFORMATION?

a-PROTOTYPE

b-PERSONAL CONSTRUCT

c-STEREOTYPE

d-SCRIPT
PROTOTYPE - categorize speaker by which prototype they most closely resemble (professional, rival, boss, friend)

PERSONAL CONSTRUCT - bipolar dimension of assessing smart/stupid, honest/liar etc.

STEREOTYPES - to predict what they will do or say

SCRIPT-find script seems appropriate for the interaction
E/ of how listener would define the listening situation (thru COGNATIVE SCHEMATA) and construct its meaning?
Responding to a distraught friend may involve listening vs responding to a distraught co-worker may involve giving advice.

If we perceive someone as confused we may follow a script that tells us to help them clarify their feelings.

Someone who is emotionally upset we may follow a script that says back off and let them air out their feelings
the LISTENING PROCESS involves (6 parts):

4 - D/ INTERPRETATION
When we put together all we have selected and organized to make sense of communication
What is crucial to EFFECTIVE INTERPRETATION?
you need to have ability to understand others on their own terms and respect their perspective. Don't impose our own meaning, try to correct, or argue.
the LISTENING PROCESS involves (6 parts):

5 - D/ RESPONDING

E/ of showing attentiveness?

E/ of disinterest?
RESPONDING involves expressing interest, asking questions, and showing we are attentive.

E/ attentiveness by;
looking at speaker
nodding
adopting attentive posture

E/ of disinterest are;
looking away
slouching
the LISTENING PROCESS involves (6 parts):

6 - REMEMBERING?

How much do we remember from a message immediately after we here it and 8 hours later?
Immediately after we remember less than half and after 8 hours we recall only 35% or 1/3.
(2) Obstacles to effective listening

1-(4)Situational Obstacle

a - D/E MESSAGE OVERLOAD
MESSAGE OVERLOAD is when we receive more messages than we can effectively process. We need to make choices about what get our attention

e/ TV, radio, internet, IM, email
(2) Obstacles to effective listening

1-(3)Situational Obstacle

b - D/ MESSAGE COMPLEXITY
When a message we are trying to understand is highly complex, has detailed info, or involves intricate reasoning.

e/ When a Dr speaks using technical jargon we dont understand
(2) Obstacles to effective listening

1-(3)Situational Obstacle

c - ENVIRONMENTAL DISTRACTION
Sounds around us that divert our attention and make it diff to hear clearly

e/ at rock concert cant hear those next to us.
(2) Obstacles to effective listening

2-(4)Internal Obstacles

a - D/E PREOCUPATION
When we are so absorbed in our own thoughts and judgements that we cant focus on what speaker is saying

e/ open email box to find 20 emails and try to get thru them all instead of focusing on important ones
(2) Obstacles to effective listening

2-(4)Internal Obstacles

b - PREJUDGMENT
Tendency to judge others on their ideas before we have heard them. When we think we know what someone will say so we dont listen to them.

e/ a dr interupts his pt every 18 to 24 secs b/c he know what they are gonna say
(2) Obstacles to effective listening

2-(4)Internal Obstacles

c - D/E LACK OF EFFORT
When we are arent willing or able to invest the effort to listen.

e/ When we are ill, tired, or hungry
(2) Obstacles to effective listening

2-(4)Internal Obstacles

d - D/E not recognizing DIVERSE LISTENING STYLES
not reflecting listening to diff cultural communication styles

e/ Nepalise people give little verbal feedback b/c they think it is rude vs african american who interupt and speak as way to respond to speaker
(6) forms of ineffective listening:

1 - D/E PSEUDOLISTENING
pretending to listen

e/ we do this when we pretend to listen b/c we don't want to hurt the speakers feelings
(6) forms of ineffective listening:

2 - D/ MONOPOLIZING
"hogging the stage" by continually focusing communication on ourselves instead of the person who is talking.
(6) forms of ineffective listening:

2 - D/ MONOPOLIZING
a - D/E CONVERSATIONAL REROUTING
person shifts topic of conversation to themselves

e/ if Ellen tells her freind she is having trouble with her roomate and the freind responds with "I know what youo mean my roomate is a real slob too." and then launches into a big description of her problem.
(6) forms of ineffective listening:

2 - D/ MONOPOLIZING

b - D/E INTERUPTING
Interrupting and then introducing a new topic.

e/ May fire questions that express boubt about what speaker is saying ie "What makes you think that?" or
prematurely offer advice to establish command or put the other person down.
(6) forms of ineffective listening:

3 - D/E SELECTIVE LISTENING
When we focus on only certain aspects of communication that interest or correspond to our opinions and feelings
(6) forms of ineffective listening:

4 - D/E DEFENSIVE LISTENING

Why do we do this?
Involves percieving a personal attack, criticism, or hostile undertone when none is intended.

e/ "have you finished your report yet?" interpreted as suspicion that work isn't being done.

We do this when we reject communication we find boring, or is inconsistent with our values, and beliefs.
(6) forms of ineffective listening:

5 - D/E AMBUSHING
Listening for the purpose of gathering ammunition to use in attacking the speaker. An extreme form of monopolizing where interruptions are constant and intentional

e/ political candidates listen carefully to opponent to undercut them
(6) forms of ineffective listening:

6 - D/E LITERAL LISTENING
listening to the content level of meaning and ignoring the relationship level

e/ upset wife says "fine" with a flat voice, without eye contact, and shrug shoulders. If you listen only to literal message would assume that there isn't a problem.
(6) guidelines for effective listening:
Be MINDFUL

Control OBSTACLES

Ask QUESTIONS

Use MNEMONICS

ORGANIZE info
(4) ways to IMPROVE MEMORY and recall?
REPEAT

REVIEW notes 15 minutes before situation

MNEMONICS

ORGANIZE complex ideas by grouping
(4) Skills for effective RELATIONSHIP LISTENING?
be MINDFUL

SUSPEND JUDGEMENT

strive to UNDERSTAND OTHER PERSPECTIVE

EXPRESS SUPPORT
D/E MINIMAL ENCOURAGER and how to it help us to gain insight to others thoughts?

E/ of nonverbal minimal encourager
gently invites a person to elaborate.

e/ "tell me more," "really" or "yeah I see".

e/ nod, raised eyebrow
D/E of PARAPHRASING as a way to gain insight into another's perspective?
When we reflect our interpretation of others communication back to them

e/ friend says "with all the news on teenagers and drugs, i wonder if my kid brother is messing with them?"

you respond
D/E LAW OF LAST FEW WORDS as way of gaining insight into anothers perspective?
saying last few words of persons sentacnce to envourage them to elaborate