Cmst 2010 Final

Front 1

close relationships: 4 types

Back 1

1. Quality (depth)
2. Content
3. Diversity of experience
4. Intimacy

Front 2

think of relationship as: cultural performance

Back 2

actively engaged in showing ourselves

Front 3

think of relationship as: cognitive construct

Back 3

look at relationship through how we think about relationships.

Front 4

think of relationship as: language construct

Back 4

how you use the language to describe the relationship

Front 5

think of relationship as: lens of relational culture

Back 5

what are the beliefs, values, relational norms

Front 6

think of relationship as: 5 things

Back 6

1. cultural performance
2. cognitive construct
3. language construct
4. lens of relational culture
5. as a system

Front 7

initiating

Back 7

when we make initial contact with someone

Front 8

experimenting

Back 8

do I have anything in common with this person

Front 9

intensifying

Back 9

honeymoon stage. Everything is exciting. Usually have talk here about realtionship being official

Front 10

integrating

Back 10

still a couple, people assume that you are going to be with the other person - look at you as a unit

Front 11

bonding

Back 11

can be living together, wedding, public proclomation of being together, bond to each other

Front 12

differentiation

Back 12

saying "you're friends" less "we", more "yours" and "mine"
- Negatively: focusing on something you don't like
- Positive: ex. One person having own interest

Front 13

circumscribing

Back 13

not really going anywhere in your relationship

Front 14

stagnating

Back 14

(red flag) most cheating occurs here. Things you once used to like now annoy you

Front 15

avoiding

Back 15

actively avoid person and conversations. May see car and may not go there. Can lead to termination.

Front 16

5 types of conflict

Back 16

1. image
2. content
3. value
4. relational
5. serial

Front 17

image conflict:

Back 17

- Tough conflict to make
- Need to ask selves "is it worth it?"
- Someone is attacking the way we define ourselves
- Ex. Parents will have with children, (mom won't let kids wear neon clothes)
- Don't always need to be engaged over this

Front 18

content conflict

Back 18

ubstantive because they evolve around an issue

Front 19

value conflict

Back 19

arguing based on whether or not something is right or wrong, moral or immoral

Front 20

relational conflict

Back 20

- Conflict about how relationship is making you feel

Front 21

serial conflict

Back 21

conflict that happens over and over, there is never any resolution

Front 22

avoidance

Back 22

low concern for others and low concern for yourself

Front 23

accommodation

Back 23

low concern for self, high concern for others.

Front 24

competition

Back 24

high concern for self, low concern for others. You want to win.

Front 25

collaboration

Back 25

high for self, high for others

Front 26

compromise

Back 26

works best if solution is simple and has no real stakes attached. It's about selling.

Front 27

7 types of power

Back 27

1. legitimate
2. reward
3. coercive
4. referent
5. expert
6. networking
7. intimacy

Front 28

legitimate power

Back 28

power by authority or by position

Front 29

reward power

Back 29

when somebody has the power to give you a particular resource.

Front 30

coercive power

Back 30

when you force someone to do something

Front 31

referent power

Back 31

power someone posseses because of their personal characteristics

Front 32

expert power

Back 32

that other people value

Front 33

networking power

Back 33

when we have power because of people that we know

Front 34

intimacy power

Back 34

have the power to damage the relationship

Front 35

3 things that influence power in relationship

Back 35

1. How important is goal of the relationship to each person
2. What are the various avenues to achieve the goal
3. Dependence - which person in a relationship is more dependent on the other

Front 36

5 traits that make up our personality

Back 36

1. extroversion
2. agreeableness
3. conscienceness
4. neuroticism
5. openness

Front 37

extroversion

Back 37

how excitable, talkative, aggressive, emotionally expressive, a person is

Front 38

agreeableness

Back 38

kindness, altruism, affection, trust

Front 39

conscienceness

Back 39

thoughtfulness, goal oriented behaviors, good impulse control, (ex. Turn down going out because they have to study)

Front 40

neuroticism

Back 40

levels of anxiety, moodiness, irritability, sadness, emotional instability
- This one can fluctuate the most in response to our environment

Front 41

openness

Back 41

very broad range of interest, things they like to do, willing to try out new experiences

Front 42

extroversion

Back 42

motivated through relationships with other people. Enjoy meeting new people. Very social.

Front 43

introversion

Back 43

like to be by themselves. Gather energy by themselves.

Front 44

sense

Back 44

someone wants to taste, touch, hear, smile. They want you to show me. Person likes to follow directions. Someone who is very keenly aware of their environment and surroundings. Usually good students. Like to use all 5 of their senses to gather info.

Front 45

intuition

Back 45

constrained by structure just want to do it, not follow directions. Big picture thinkers. People who rely on hunches.

Front 46

thinking

Back 46

someone who thinks every problem can be solved. Very logical. Take the emotion out of the argument.

Front 47

feeling

Back 47

people who are guided by their heart. Feel like the rules should sometimes be broken. Let their sense of values guide their decision making. Will do what they feel is right first and will figure it out later

Front 48

judging

Back 48

people who typically want something done and fast. Big on to-do lists. Like to make decisions and move on. Quick to have opinions about things and people. All about closure - like to get things done. Comfortable with making quick decisions and won't regret them. Aware of procrastination

Front 49

perceiving

Back 49

procrastination. Feels very nervous and constrained by deadlines. Wants to understand the situation before they make a decision. Often get lost in their task.

Front 50

the four temperaments:

Back 50

1. guardians
2. idealists
3. artisians
4. rationals

Front 51

guardians

Back 51

Sensing and Judging: highly loyal and dependable. Pretty cautious. Responsible. Like to get things done (J). Hard working. Really concerned with justice. Very loyal in relationships. Make good decisions, good leaders, responsible parents

Front 52

idealists

Back 52

most naturally enthusiastic people. Being kind, loving, authentic, real, value relationships with other people highly, trust their intuition, good readers of nonverbal behavior, most giving, interested in helping other people acieve their full potential. Romantic relationships can be really intense, can be explosive. Most nurturing parents. Don’t like to discipline. Inspirational leader.

Front 53

artisians

Back 53

S P - very fun, loving, optimistic, relaistic, focusing on what's happening hear and now, bold and spontaneous, playful in a relationship, fun at "right now", don't worry about the future. Creative parents - whill do things their way and don't care what other people think. Excellent trouble shooters

Front 54

rationals

Back 54

N T - Intuitive and Thinking. Most concerned with solving problems and analyzing systems
- Skeptical people - everything has to be proven to them
- Guided by logic and reason
- Want to understand how things work so they can make them better
- Relationship - will listen to people who are useful to them in solving problems
- More driven to accomplish goals than any other type. Believe they can accomplish anything.
- Reasonable above all in relationships
- Parenting - individualized for each child, focused on solving problems
- Strategic leader - think things through and get things done
- Strongest type at making thought out decisions.