Ch 10 And 11

Front 1

dissatisfaction with one's partner

Back 1

not receiving the expected rewards from the partner

Front 2

disillusionment with the relationship

Back 2

the purposes for forming the relationship have been accomplished

Front 3

Difficulties with individual characteristics

Back 3

psychological or behavioral tendencies that interfere with the maintenance of rewarding relationships

Front 4

problems with others who form the relationship network

Back 4

in laws, friends, former or current lovers, etc

Front 5

strains created by background variables

Back 5

race, education, etc

Front 6

in ability to deal with stresses imposed by circumstances

Back 6

relocation, employment

Front 7

positive tone

Back 7

very gently, apologizing, show that you care, end things on a good note

Front 8

negative identity management

Back 8

Date others

Front 9

Justification

Back 9

justifying your reasons, explaining why you're breaking up

Front 10

behavioral de-escalation

Back 10

ignoring

Front 11

De-escalation

Back 11

too much dependency, a need to breath

Front 12

disassociation

Back 12

reflected in an increasing concern for oneself, and a resulting decrease in concern for the relationship

Front 13

managing the question

Back 13

1) misunderstanding
2) limitation
3) non sequitur (not logically related)
4) restatement
5)the more fundamental question
6) hypothetical answer
7) Is this really a question?
8) moot question approach - question is impossible to answer
9) the assertion of nothing

Front 14

Changing the level of conversation

Back 14

concrete-abstract continuum, specific analysis to a more general, abstract one.

Front 15

sending incongruous messages

Back 15

1) communicating on two unrelated levels at the same time
2) constantly switching from one emotional wavelength to another while on the same topic.
3) switching from one topic to another while remaining on the same emotional wavelength

Front 16

Patriarchal terrorism

Back 16

involves violence used by males to exert control and show power over their female partner. The degree of bodily harm is often extreme

Front 17

Dominating

Back 17

requires control:
1) control information
2) control social contacts
3)control of time
4) control of the relationship

Front 18

nullification

Back 18

the reformer is expected to give up simply on the word of the authority

Front 19

isolation

Back 19

if the dominator's authority continues to be questioned, attempts are made to isolate the questioner

Front 20

Defamation

Back 20

continued persistence by the person challenging the authoritarian in the face of these indirect attempts at suppression may bring about more direct efforts
question the motives of the challenger

Front 21

Expulsion

Back 21

comes as a last resort in more intimate relationships

Front 22

certain

Back 22

being a know it all

Front 23

provisional

Back 23

Believe that life is too unpredictable to ever know or say anything for sure. Hence, a decision-less state of limbo is maintained.