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68 Cards in this Set

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  • Back
collectivist cultures
individuals define their identity in terms of the relationships they hold with others
individualistic cultures
individual goals are promoted over group goals
love and romance in ancient history
king solomon, still a lot of passion and excitement
Greek era
love was thought of as a bittersweet emotion. illness that lasted too long. men wanted a faithful love w/ a virtuous woman but didn't associate love with marriagfe.
roman empire
love went from guilt-free sexual indulgence to a somber joyless, guilt-ridden experience intertwined with the act of sex
the middle ages and renaissance
ushered in the true era of wooing, courting, and the "romantic" ideal. fostered mutual respect and admiration between a man and woman.
victorian era
virginal, shy, virtuous woman was epitome of the attitude toward sexuality and the role of women. ideal of love perpetuated a sense of couple togetherness.
eros
term used to describe the sexual, physical components of love (root word of term erotic)
philos
brotherly love, used to describe affectionate feelings shared between friends and family (philadelphia=city of brotherly love)
agape
self-sacrificing, spiritual love that looked out for the interests and well-being of others
Fehr's 12 central features of love
trust, care, honesty, friendship, respect, desire to promote the well-being of the other, loyalty, commitment, accepting the other without wanting to change the other, support, a desire to be in the other's company, consideration of and interest in the other
john money's concept of love maps
mental blueprint of sorts that we carry internally. presents an image of the "ideal" love relationship that is shaped by our experiences with love in infancy and early childhood
infatuation
refers to an intense, extravagant, and often short-lived passion for another person, and many times these feelings are confused for love.
simple infatuation
"puppy love" "crushes" physical attraction often accompanied by emotion-filled daydreams and fantasies about someone
romantic infatuation
referred to as romantic love. foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction. involves a complicated, often overpowering blend of emotion and sexuality
passionate love
wildly powerful emotion that is experienced as intense longing for the selected love object, along with profound sexual arousal and confused feelings
limerence
a form of infatuation similar to romantic love. separates out the aspect of immaturity
when limerence for an object ceases, one of 3 possible reactions can happen
consummation, starvation, or transformation
consummation
means that the limerent object has either reciprocated the limerence and the limerent feelings or that both parties have developed a mutual, lasting love. after reciprocation, there is the possibility that limerence is replaced by less positive feelings
starvation
refers to the notion that the limerence is starved out of existence because the limerent object doesn't reciprocate the limerent feelings
transformation
refers to when the limerence is transferred to a new limerent object
companionate love
refers to deep, tender, mature, affectionate attachment bonds shared between 2 people. may or may not include feelings of physical arousal
robert steinberg's triangular theory of love
conceptualizes 8 different types of love relationships. proposed that love relationships consists of three interconnected components: intimacy, commitment, and passion
sternberg-intimacy
refers to loving relationships characterized by feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness.
sternberg-commitment
a decision to love someone else as a decision to maintain that love over time. refers to loving another person as a conscious act of will--a deliberate choice

can be thought of as the cognitive component in a love relationship
sternberg-passion
refers to the physical attraction and romantic feelings that initially draw us to another person
nonlove
absence of intimacy, commitment, and passion. may exist in a relationship where physical, emotional, or sexual violence is present
empty love
devoid of passion and intimacy. commitment is the only element in the relationship
liking
intimacy is the sole element in the relationship and is the stuff that great, long lasting friendships are made of. typically no passion or commitment
companionate love
combines elements of intimacy and commitment.
fatuous love
combining passion and commitment. result in a sprint toward cohabiting or marriage. because relationship lacks intimacy, passion will fade then commitment will too
romantic love
intimacy and passion. because of the physical and or sexual attraction and arousal that accompanies romantic love, it is thought to be a more intense form of love than liking
consummate love
type of love that is a total, whole, absolute, and all inclusive. combines all three elements. some may attain this type of relationship, bnut not without nurturing and working to maintain the relationship
altruistic love
unselfish, giving kind of love in which they seek to provide for the needs of their child. promotes well being of another with no expectation of reciprocity or return
interdependent love
ability for people to be dependent and have someone depend on them
dependent love
seen in the adult-infant pair bond where an adult immediately meets and gratifies the needs of an infant
attachment
emotional or affectionaal bond that ties or binds the child to the parent or primary caregiver
john bowlby
developed attachment theory
attachment theory
based on observations of parent/child interactions. posits that it is from bond that children derive a sense of security, a trusting sense that the world, and interpersonal relatiopnships we encounter along the way, is safe
secure attachment types
dont fear being abandoned or losing partner. secure adults allow others to get close to them and depend on them. report enduring, happy, warm, trusting relationships that promote self-esteem
avoidant attachment types
seldom find "real" love. uncomfortable when too emotionally or physically close to another person. difficult to allow themselves to depend on others. commonly experienced separation from mothers
anxious/ambivalent attachment types
insecurity is the hallmark. not a matter of if a partner leaves them, but when. constant fear or worry that partner not in love with them. often push partner away.
love stories
unique, personal experiences with love
intergenerational approach to family therapy
developd by murray bowen. sought to understand transmission of relational behaviors from one generation to the next.
genograms
created by bowen. diagrams with various figures that serve to illustrate relationships between family members
lee's 6 types of love styles
eros, ludus, storge, manic, pragma, agape
eros
sensual or sexual love. erotic lovers are passionate and romantic. thrive on tantalizing nature of love and sex. usually monogamous
ludus
refers to love that is playful, flirtation, carefree, and casual. dont care as much about commitment as they do about playng. love usually fun and easygoing
storge
best conceptualized as friendship love, or type of affectionate love between companions. typically come to love each other over time. shared interests, trust, and acceptance, which develop over time
manic
jealousy, envy, protectiveness, and exclusivity. frenzied, agitated, hectic, and chaotic. roller coaster of emotions.
pragma
costs and benefits associated w/ love are carefully weighed and considered.
agape
selfless, enduring, other-centered type of love. charity. refers to unconditional love. provides intrinsic satisfaction with no reciprocity expected or demanded.
reiss's wheel theory of love
ira reiss described love as a developmental process that unfolds over time. wheel theory suggests four stages or processes of love
rapport
refers to a connection or bond we feel toward another person. establish w/ soemone who is similar to us in our cultural background
self revelation
when we feel comfortable in another's presence, self-disclosing our personal hopes and dreams, fears and goals/
mutual dependency
intimacy levels deepen in relationship. begins to spend more time together, enjoy sharing activities and interests. refers to couple's reliance on one another for need fulfillment
personality need fulfillment
established pattern of mutual exchanges of support, sympathy and decision making. also satisfies a partner's deeper needs: emotional and sexual
vuong's love economic model
based on primary assumptions that people are rational decision makers who are able to tally up both the benefits and costs of falling in love.
equation for benefits of love
benefits of love= emotional needs + entertainment needs + materialistic needs
emotional needs
include esteem needs, social, spiritual, and safety. refer to obtaining those things that make us happy and content . social refers to need for social acceptance, spiritual include feeling connected to a high power. safety includes size and quality of support network
entertainment needs
social aspects of day-to-day living and family life. include hobbies, interests, and experiences that serve to provide automatic partners. by engaging in these activities, we are pound to meet potential lovers
materialistic needs
refer to primary needs required for survival and happiness. food, water, shelter and transportation. sexual needs too. materialistic desires are those not necessarily needed but that make life more enjoyable
costs of love
search cost (attractiveness + social networking skills + search time cost [free time X selectiveness] + financial cost [social network size X selectiveness]) + rejection costs + maintenance costs + breakup risk + breakup costs
search cost
includes attractiveness or ability to attract partners, along with social networking skills
rejection costs
rejection sensitivity, anxiety, lowered self esteem, immunity to rejection, and emotional cost
maintenance cost
financial cots , and little free time
breakup risk
includes determining lover's future overall benefit w/ the individual, the lover's future net benefit w/ anotherl over, and breakup cost.
breakup costs
include emotional costs, financial, and the search necessary to find another love