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23 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
- 3rd side (hint)
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Communication |
The way humans create and share meaning. -sending/receiving messages -everything we do is communication! |
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Linear causality model |
Direct or linear relationship. Cause and effect. -normally destructive. Ex. “Look what you made me do” |
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Circular causality model |
Both deny responsibility for what happened, and for changing it, and preventing it. -only reacting to the other. -damaging |
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Nonverbal communication |
Unspoken parts of communication -people interpret what you say in the lens of your nonverbal communication. |
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Mixed messages |
Discrepancy between verbal and non-verbal messages -non-verbal generally trumps verbal |
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Double Bind |
Conflict in verbal and non-verbal messages that cause you to question the relationship between you and the speaker. -the receiver is in the double bind. |
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Metacommunication |
Communication about how we communicate. |
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Continuous partial attention |
Holding a conversation while we attend to other distractions (like a phone) |
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Self-disclosure |
Revealing to another personal information, or feelings they may not otherwise learn. -must be continuous for relationship to grow |
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What are the listening types? |
Persuasive listening: hardly listening, looking for an opening to jump in and control conversation. -manipulative Directive listening: attempts to channel and direct conversation. -more constructive Active listening: Lets the speaker tell the story spontaneously, without interruption. -people like active listeners. |
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How to improve listening skills |
-Stop everything and give attention -make sure you understand. Ask for more info. -acknowledge request -step back, summarize, and look at the general picture. |
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Types of communication |
Assertive, passive and aggressive |
APA |
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Weaknesses of Gottman’a research |
-Laboratory based -all were at the same relative stage of life (doesn’t account for other stages) -little ethnic diversity -very little interventions (tracked problems, not solutions) -couples were volunteers |
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Three things to notice in conflict: |
When- is it the best time for conflict for your partner? Conflict styles-how does your partner handle conflict? Put it in context-how much does this matter? |
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Aggressive Communication |
Aims to hurt or put down another in order to protest the self esteem of the aggressor. -“you always, you never” -intense angry feelings -partner is to blame for aggressors frustration. |
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Passive Communication |
Unwillingness to say what one thinks, feels or wants. -anxiety over others opinions or thoughts -angers the receiver -creates distress rather than intimacy. |
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Aggressive Communicationjohn |
Aims to hurt or put down another in order to protest the self esteem of the aggressor. -“you always, you never” -intense angry feelings -partner is to blame for aggressors frustration. |
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John Gottman’s 4 horsemen of the Apocalypse |
-Criticism -Contempt -Defensiveness -Stonewalling |
CCDS |
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John Gottman’s styles of marital interaction: |
Validating: opinions are valid, verbal cues mirror expressions, good friends, togetherness is key. Volatile: intense conflict, very open interruptions, express anger individually. Avoidant: minimize conflict, agree to disagree, lack of discussion, value separateness. |
VVA |
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Gottman ratio of negativity to positivity |
5:1 Positive:Negative |
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Why are the 4 horsemen traits are bad |
-Dramatically influence communication -create a cycle of discord and negativity that is hard to overcome. |
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Weaknesses of Gottman’s research |
-Laboratory based -all were at the same relative stage of life (doesn’t account for other stages) -little ethnic diversity -very little interventions (tracked problems, not solutions) -couples were volunteers |
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With what precision could Gottman guess Divorce? |
90% |
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