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76 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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What is communication? What functions does it serve?
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any process b which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior
Functions: intimacy problem-solving conflict resolution persuasion |
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What is non-verbal communication? what functions does it serve?
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relationship content (emotional) or the message
functions: conveying interpersonal attitudes Expressing emotions meta-communications about the ongoing interaction negotiating the back and forth flow of conversation |
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What is self-discloure? What are its five dimensions?
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gives the listener a view into the eternal subjectivee world of the speaker or communicates private, personal facts
5 dimensions: depth breadth frequency duration valace: good vs. bad (more negative, more disclosure) |
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How is disclosure related to relationship satisfaction in close relationships and casual relationships?
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disclosure is typically reciprocated and increases intimacy.
close relationships: disclosure is directly related to satisfaction casual: too much disclosure leads to less satisfaction |
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What are the 6 components of constructive feedback?
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- I statements
- focus on behavior rather than the person - Focus on observations rather than judjments -sharing of ideas or offering alternatives rather than giving advice -don't overload -appropriate time and place |
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What is the 5:1 rule
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5 positive comments for every negative leads to higher relationship satisfaction
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What does "turning toward your partner" mean? What are 3 possible responses to an emotional bid and what effects are they likely to have?
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Responding to an emotional bid.
- Turn away - ignore the bid - turn against - react with anger - turn toward - show your open and listening |
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What is meant by "repairing a conversation"?
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take responsibility, show appreciation
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Is it more important for marital happiness for men or women to accept influence from their partner?
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more important for men to accept influence from women
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What are some common sources of couple's disagreements?
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conflict is common even in happy marriages, conflict can be about anything
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What are the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse?
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Cricticism- attacking a peron's personality, overgeneralization
contmept - intentionally insulting, belittling, disrespecting a partner defensiveness: denying responsibility, making excuses stonewalling |
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What defines a regulated or a non-regulated couple? How are they different from each other?
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regulated - both partners have a postive slope over the conversation, 5:1
accepting influence- willing to take partner's opinnion into account, give in once in a while. More important for a man to give in non-regulated - defensive, stubborn, angry, whining, withdrawn, more severe problems, worse health, negative experience of interaction, less affectionated, less interested in each other |
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What are some covert strategies associated with silent conflict?
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Stonewalling -- leaving or refusing to respond
Avoiding the other person or not talking to him/her Silence - often experienced as a tense atmosphere Actions intended to annoy the other person Reduced affectionate behavior Undermining -- doing things that impede the other person’s goals |
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What is the love lab?
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Gottman's lab wher couples came to participate in research. He had them discuss a current conflict, which was evaluated for the communication style
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In the Intro of 10 Lessons, what are the 2 simple truths?
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Happy couples behave like good friends (respect, affection, empathy)
Happy couples handle their conflicts in gentle positive ways (compromise, avoiding the 4 horsemen, repairing conversations, etc.). |
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10 Lessons - what are the 4 positive forms of behavior?
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5:1 rule, softened start up, emotional bids, and conversational repairs.
- accepting influence |
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10 Lessons Sam and Katie
they criticize/defend/counter-criticize Sam withdraws Katie feels alone and frusterated Perpetual issue - Sam works harder than Katie would like |
advice:
- learn to complain without criticiszing, constructive feedback - hear the longing in each other's complaints - express and accept appreciation -the oversensitive partner - remember transference |
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Do the authors of 10 Lessons think you should never complain? why or why not?
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no, you should complain so that you and your parnter can be intimate and communicate about your needs, it just needs to be done in a constructive way
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10 lessons David and candace
problems: - avoid conflict, not able to share negative emotions - emotional distance grows, lack of intimacy - contributes to his affair |
- say what your feeling, even if it's difficult,
-listen and respond to each other's feelings before resoliving problems - know when your stressed and how to relax - avoid flooding -expect more from you relationship, not less -be aware of walls and windows -if you are trying to heal a relationship after an affair, go to a marital counselor |
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Chap. 3 in 10 Lessons Mike and Maria
problems: - stress, crisis, grief - don't share feelings bout it - overworking, overeating, no exercise, no fun, loss of energy, no sex |
reprioritieze - make big lifestyle changes
take time for relaxation, exercise and romance talk about feelings connect emoitonally befoe trying to problem solve |
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Chapter 4 of 10 Lessons Bob and Marilyn
problems: criticizing insulting contempt stonewalling |
Say "what I want" rather than "what I don't want"
Don't counter-criticize - just listen or ask an honest question -show appreciationg when your partner listens nurture positive thoughts and feelings about each other |
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What is an emotion? What are 4 components of an emotion?
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Multi-component process.
changes in: - subjective experience - cognition - behavior -physiology |
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Is emotion biologically or socially determined?
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Biological and social
Biological - universal aspects - physiology, some facial expressions Social - culturally specific aspects - emotion labels, display rules, range of emotions |
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What are the functions of emotion?
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coordination or cognition, physiology, and behavior for a rapid response to evolutionarily important events
communicating intent -- mating, fighting communicating environmental info - saftely vs. danger |
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What is emotional regulation?
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The various ways we change which emotions we have, when we have them, and how we experience and express them
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What are antecedent and response focused emotion regulation?
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Antecedent-focused
- situation selection - situation modification -attentional deployment -cognitive change Response Modification - response modualtion |
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What are 2 ways emotion suppression might cause some people to eat excessively?
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eat to cope with emotions
suppressing emotions -undermines dietary restraing - perpetuates negative affect |
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What are the central findings from Dr. Butler's study of suppression and eating?
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overweight women - eat more when they suppress emotions, this makes their male partners have less negative feelings towards them
healthy women- reverse is true, men have negative feelings when they suppress emotion |
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What are 2 forms of emotion transmission?
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1) emotion contagion:one person to another
2) emotion spillover: one situation to another can be positive or negative |
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What are 2 findings form the Almeida paper on emotion spillover and what are some explanations of the findings?
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1) Marital tension on one day predicted tense interactions with their children the following day
- positive feedback loop, children become target of conflift, children re-enact observed parental conflict 2) Fathers are more likely than mothers to report spillover, and experience spillover on days with other stressors - fathers less effective at compartmentalizing conflict, fathers less effective at emotion regulation, fathers more phsioloically reactive to conflict? |
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Chap. 7 10 Lessons Craig and Beth
Problems: Beth's harsh start-up Craig's defensiveness Craig unwilling to accept influence Beth's self-criticism and sense of unworthiness make her unable to accept craig's appreciation |
Practice soft start-up
Be open to partner's influence tell your partner what you need express and accept appreciation |
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Chap. 8 10 Lessons Jack and Maureen
Problems: Maureen hide's anger and focuses on others' needs Jack withdraws when Maureen gets angry Ignoring Maueen's anger makes both feel emotional distant- interferes with passion, fun, sex |
Anger can be good for a marriage if it is openl expressed and accepted - then it can help lead to good changes
- Maureen needs to identify and express what is making her angry in a more constructive way -Maureen needs to express more appreciation for Jack -Jack needs to listen and respond to Maureen's anger |
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Chap. 9 10 Lessons Ron and Melissa
Problems - The focus only on the kids and ignore their own emotional and sexual needs as a couple - Melissa feels lonely and pusues Ron's attention - Ron feels criticized and withdraws from Melissa |
-Express needs in specific ways
Turn towards each other's needs Use a blueprint for handling conflict - set aside time, designate a speaker and a listenor - Make marriage the top priority |
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Chap. 10 10 Lessons Amanda and Terry
Problems - The have perpetual issues -ongoing conflicts based on difference in personality or peferred lifestye - Amanda states feelings, Terry backs away, then Amanda backs away too - Always backing away from feelings creates emotional distance - emotional distance leads to phsycial distance |
- Quit avoiding conflict
- Talk about perpetual issues - don't get grid-locked - Accept that the problem ma never go away but compromises can be found and you can live together happily anyway |
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Who assumes responsibility for a child if the parents are not able to provide adequate care?
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relatives or foster care
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What is the definition of neglect? what are some types of neglect?
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Deficits in meeting the child's basic needs.physical, sexual, psychological
- nutrition, healtchare, education, rejecting isolating, interpersonal violence |
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What is the definition of physical abuse? Is corporal abuse always a form of physical abuse?
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intentional physical pain or injury.
legal definitions vary by state and emphasize injures, laws exclude corporal punishment |
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What are some forms of psychological maltreatment?
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rejecting, degrading, terrorizing, isolating, corrupting, exploiting, denying emotional responsiveness, close confinement, interpersonal violence
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What are 8 social institutions that work with troubled families and maltreated children?
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CPS
Social Services Criminal Justice Civil Justice Medical Specialiezed NGO's -non-gov't organizations Education |
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What is the difference between rescue vs. rehabilitation approaches to helping children?
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rescue- investigation, removal, adoption
rehabilitation - support for struggling familes |
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What are 3 components of effective programs for troubled families?
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high levels of participant involvement
emphasis on family strengths inclusion of social support |
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What is the Family Decision Making Process?
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Private family time, information sharing, finalize and monitor the family plan
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What is the difference in the therapist's role in illness-focused vs. strength-focused approaches?
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illness: therapist is an expert who fixes the family
strengths: a collaborator who helps the family to help themselves |
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According to cognitive-behavioral approaches, what are 2 characteristics that distinguish functional vs. dysfunctional families?
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funtional- long term reciprocity
dysfunctional - tit-for-tat functional: adaptive behavior is rewarded, maladaptive behavior is not reinforced dysfunctional: reverse |
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What is the primary goal of a cognitive-behavioral family therapist?
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specify problems in behavioral terms and guide family toward more effective communtication skills
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What is the diathesis-stress model?
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the interaction of biological vulnerability and environmental stress
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What are the main goals of psychoeducational therapies? How are these goals achieved?
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Provide education on handling mental illness or relationship problem
Educate clients on ways to handle problems work in groups of couples or families lecture, show videos, assign hw |
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What is narrative therapy?
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social-constructivist view - there is no one right way to live- each family must create its own optimal patterns
thepaists sees world through client's eyes, help people rewrite their life stories in a more empowered form |
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Why does the author of the "Glass Castle" become fascinated by fire?
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After she was burned, the family made no big deal about it. she enjoyed her hospital visit. Her dad said she had conquered fire
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Why does the family in the "Glass Castle" move around so much?
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They move around to avoid bill collectors or avoid getting arrested. The parents like adventure
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How do the parents in the "Glass Castle" react to the death of their one daughter?
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The mom recovered quickly and it didn't effect her much. Rex was devestated and began drinking heavilly.
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Why do the children in the "Glass Castle" sleep in cardboard boxes?
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They cannot afford beds, the kids find it kind of fun
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What happens when the author of the "Glass Castle" tells her mother she is hungry?
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The mother gets very upset at her and yells at her daughter for always blaming her. Then she brings this up to Rex, and the two argue for a long time.
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Even though the mother in the "Glass Castle" takes a full time job as a teacher the family still doesnt have enough money for food. Why not?
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They don't budget the money. The mom spends money on painting, and Rex takes it to buy alcohol
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What does the author of the "Glass castle" ask for her birthday?
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For her Dad to stop drinking
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What is the tend for "never-married" people?
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The percentages have increased for both men and women in the last 40 years
men 10.5- 57.4 women 19.1-13.1 |
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What is the tend for the age of first marriage?
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Increasing over last 50 years
men: 22.8 - 27.5 women: 20.1 - 25.9 |
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Briefly discuss 4 possible reasons for these trends - lower marriage rates and increased ages
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- disinterest in committed relationships
- more interest in egalitarian gender roles - changing social norms making cohabitation a viable alternate -more liberal sexualtiy |
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What are the success rates of "love marriages" vs. "arranged marriages?
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love = 50%
arranged = 80-90% |
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What are several problems with "love marriages"?
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couples have high expectations, expect that everything will be perfect. They become dissatisfied with time, as romance dies down.
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What are several reasons someone might choose to have an arranged marriage?
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usually religious or cultural. the parents want to combine families, create a good economic and cultural match.
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Who was Benazir Bhutto? What choices did she have to decide between regarding marriage?
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Daughter of a politician in.. If she married for love, it would be seen as a scandal. Her choice was to not get married or have an arranged marriage
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Briefely describe 6 challenges in early marriage?
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- blending lives: food, sleep, work
- financial shortages - job instability and/or mutual careers - children: deciding if/when - parenting - renogotiating relationships with family of origin |
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what are 5 strategies for adjusting to early marriage?
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- acknowledge anger
- tolerate imperfections and difference - deal with family of origin issues - be committed to the marriage - realize marriage has its ups and downs |
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List 10 predictors of relationship success
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-Similarity of partners
-Older age at marriage -Longer courtship -Shared interests, companionship -More positive interaction patterns and less negative -Higher education -Greater financial resources -Approval of spouse by family and friends -Children increase stability but decrease quality |
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How do we define relationship success?
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marital stability
marital qualtiy or satisfaction |
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In the Glass Castle, why do Rex and Rosemarie move to New York?
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To get out of Welch, to be near their children
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How do Rex and Rosemarie end up homelsess?
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They were late on rent, both did not have a job. They did not want any help from their children or anyone
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What is the difference between childless and child-free relationships?
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Child-free is by choice
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List 8 reasons that a couple may choose to not have children
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Concern regarding population growth.
Wife’s career considerations. More satisfactory marital relationship. Doubts about own parenting ability. Concern about physical aspects of childbirth. Genetic conditions. Monetary advantages. Dislike of children. |
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Describe 3 reasons that many people are having their first children later in life
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Search for best match or right time.
Increasing general health and fertility options for older folks. Cost! Minimum cost of raising a middle-class child ~ $750,000 |
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Why are foreign adoptions becoming more popular?
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Foreign children are less likely to be healthy. less chance of FAS or drug addicted mothers
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What are some of the reasons that the birth mothers in the film “The Giving” gave up their children for adoption?
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- living at home, not enough money to raise a child
- still in h.s., not ready for a child - not finacially sounds, struggling with kids they already have - ex boyfriend had cheated, don't want to raise baby alone mostly want a better life for the baby |
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According to the reading “Modern Couples” what are 3 factors that make it hard for couples to cope with having children?
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- changing gender roles
- less social support, isolation - high expectations for marriage partners |
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According to the reading “Modern Couples” what are 5 domains of family life that can be disrupted by having a child? Briefly describe how each of these
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- marital relationship
- p-c relationships - families of origin - sense of self - work/friends |
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How has the division of childcare labor (ie. How much mothers vs. fathers are doing)changed since 1980?
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- moms working a little bit more on weekdays, still very involved on weekends
- dads more involved, slightly on weekdays, much more on weekends |
