MILE 35 is a supernatural horror tale. It explores themes about greed and poses the moral question how far will someone go for power and wealth. It explores the concept of making a deal with the devil.
While the story contains some strong features, overall, the script would benefit from more development. Areas to explore include: structure, tension, and character development.
The story opens with a mysterious scene setting the tone. The script then introduces Tommy Walker, who appears to be the protagonist. His ordinary life is established. Later in the structure, there’s a flashback (which isn’t properly labeled) and it tells the backstory. Consider reorganizing this structure. Open with the younger Tommy’s car breaking down at Mile 35 and what happens to him (not revealing all of it until later). Tighten the scene with Buena.
The way it’s …show more content…
Right now, the audience doesn’t connect with Tommy, Lillah, Patricia, or Alex. Find a way for the audience to emotionally connect with the main hero to create a rooting interest.
Tommy makes a deal for greedy reasons, but the audience never sees him struggle with his decision. It’s not clear how the idea of raping women contributes to the plot, except to show that Tommy has a very dark side, but this can be done in other ways given that rape is such an unforgiving act of violence. Making Tommy more conflicted about his life choices and about Gretchen’s death would make him a more likable character. Showing him trying to save his daughter would also make him a more likable hero.
Lillah is likable, but she doesn’t have much of a personality. Find ways to make her more unique. Highlight her inner conflict. If this is supposed to be her story, then she needs to drive the action and she needs to be more proactive. She also needs to be part of the climax. In addition, her reaction to Alex’s death isn’t fully authentic. She quickly seems to get over
While the story contains some strong features, overall, the script would benefit from more development. Areas to explore include: structure, tension, and character development.
The story opens with a mysterious scene setting the tone. The script then introduces Tommy Walker, who appears to be the protagonist. His ordinary life is established. Later in the structure, there’s a flashback (which isn’t properly labeled) and it tells the backstory. Consider reorganizing this structure. Open with the younger Tommy’s car breaking down at Mile 35 and what happens to him (not revealing all of it until later). Tighten the scene with Buena.
The way it’s …show more content…
Right now, the audience doesn’t connect with Tommy, Lillah, Patricia, or Alex. Find a way for the audience to emotionally connect with the main hero to create a rooting interest.
Tommy makes a deal for greedy reasons, but the audience never sees him struggle with his decision. It’s not clear how the idea of raping women contributes to the plot, except to show that Tommy has a very dark side, but this can be done in other ways given that rape is such an unforgiving act of violence. Making Tommy more conflicted about his life choices and about Gretchen’s death would make him a more likable character. Showing him trying to save his daughter would also make him a more likable hero.
Lillah is likable, but she doesn’t have much of a personality. Find ways to make her more unique. Highlight her inner conflict. If this is supposed to be her story, then she needs to drive the action and she needs to be more proactive. She also needs to be part of the climax. In addition, her reaction to Alex’s death isn’t fully authentic. She quickly seems to get over