The Script

solid concept. The idea of a young child disappearing and his desperate father fearing that aliens abducted him is a very appealing premise. The concept easily hooks the audience. While there’s a lot to really like about the premise, overall the script would benefit from more development. The story begins well. The first 13 pages are engaging. There’s a solid inciting event when the young boy, Micah, goes missing. The audience is emotionally invested in the child and finding him. The goal is…

idea of being trapped and stalked. Although, not original, it’s a tried and true concept that remains appealing. This script adds a twist in that the women trapped in the building are alienated sisters. Independent filmmakers often look for these types of thrillers. The script is driven by the theme of survival, healing, and bonding. The goal is clear and the stakes are high. The script uses some of the elements that make for successful thrillers, such as a contained setting, cut off from…

PASSWORD is an intriguing contained thriller. The script utilizes some of the techniques that make for a compelling thriller, such as a contained setting, isolation, cut off from communication, and the threat of harm or death. There’s a three-act structure. The opening sets up the idea of a home invasion. However, the opening with the police scanner is distracting and confusing. It’s unclear exactly what’s happening and it becomes diverting. Focus the opening more on Ray watching the house and…

and era nicely come to life and feel authentic. Visual storytelling is well done. There’s some stunning imagery (page 97). The goal is clear and the stakes are high. Given the strengths of the characters and the plot, the script is worthy of strong consideration. The script has a well-defined, three-act structure, and for the most part, the pace works well. There are good setups and payoffs (the gold ring, Jacaranda, and the Knight In Armor egg timer). There’s a solid inciting event when…

SPIRITED MISADVDENTURES is a character driven story of self-discovery and healing. The story’s tone is dramatic, but nicely blended with wit and humor. The script explores solid themes about grieving, communication, reconnecting, and healing. It’s an introspective story told with subtext. One of the strengths of this script is the character of Dani. She’s well crafted as a very complex woman. She presents with a very tough exterior that’s abrasive. In fact, initially it’s challenging to like or…

UNIVERSAL DRIFTER is a supernatural, action thriller. There are solid themes about revenge and karma. This is the type of script with potential, but would benefit from further development. The second half of the script appears to work better than the first half of the script. This is worth discussing. The opening and first act set up the ordinary world of the two core characters of Annette and Jack. Jack’s introduction is intriguing, as it introduces the element of the supernatural. However,…

grieving, healing, and moving on with life after falling down. The tone is consistently dramatic and there’s an element of a fish out of water tale. The script features very likable and compelling characters that have strong inner conflict. The goal is clear and the risk is personal. There’s a lot to like about this script, but in every good script there’s room for more development. The story opens establishing Cora’s ordinary world. It’s well conveyed that she’s under pressure from her…

monsters. This is certainly a nice setup for conflict, tension, character growth, and it sets up the story to send a special message about accepting people and creatures that feel different. While the idea is well appreciated and the script shows some strength, the script would benefit from more…

find a way out of it. The plot idea has merit and is a nice setup for comedy, conflict, and character transformation. The goal is clear. With that said, the script would benefit from further development. The structure can be strengthened. The story opens with a scene that takes place in the present day storyline and then the script transitions back to four years earlier. Reconsider this structure. In the opening scene,…

stubburn at a young age. After finally paying off all his debts, he confronted Malcom about his mistake, all to find out the watch was a replica of the real watch. In our script, Keifer plays Malcom, Shelby plays Elizabeth, Brady plays a cab driver, and Kelsie is our narrator. We struggled getting our script together, it turned out being a more…