Teri Garr

This is only a dream. This is only a dream. This is only a dream. This cannot actually be happening. This is not real. You are not awake. This is a nightmare. Wake up, erica. Please, oh god, please wake up. My eyes are rain storms and my heart is tangled somewhere in my esophagus. I stack my legs, tuck my head into my lap. I place my hands to my hair and begin to pull. This is a nightmare. This is not real. But my cheeks are raw and chapped, and every speck of makeup has been washed from my eyes. Tears are racing down my nose, into my mouth, onto the floor and words are spinning around inside my head so violently I cannot produce a coherent thought. This actually is real --- that is when I felt it, and it all happened at once. It was like I got into an emotional car accident. Anguish. I felt tension seep into my bloodstream, and infect my entire body. Stress slid down my legs and oozed out of my pores. Misery is wrapping around my brain and suffocating me like a plastic bag. Every part of my body is exhausted, but I feel like if I don’t hold myself together, I am going to break and fall apart into pieces, and I tug my legs in tighter. I draw my hands into my chest to keep my soul from accidentally falling out. Each time I catch my breath, another sob escapes me. His hand slides from out his pocket and unto the dull handle of my front door. His eyes tell me everything he cannot, for his words hang in the air, “I am breaking up with you.” I choke out, “Please don’t go.”…