Jacoby Shaddix

Papa Roach and Mama Roach They must have come through the walls, just like ghosts, or like characters from a different dimension. I needed an explanation and met a scientist. I was in tears when I told him my story. Then he looked up as if searching for the right answer on the ceiling, and said, “well, you know roaches can survive a nuclear explosion?” Really? A nation that does nothing when cockroaches invade every crack on the wall and the floor, and every drawer in its houses, is uncivilized and unpatriotic. Do you know that people are throwing away half your grocery because it is contaminated by roaches? When a nation’s scientists declare that roaches can survive a nuclear blast, it has a problem. What would find out next? That roaches can surf the Internet. That is very pro roaches, It’s a treason, a myth that has emboldened roaches, a work of espionage to demoralize the people and to break their resolve to fight back. America is traumatized by the assaults of roaches. Don’t listen to people who say you are wimpy, cowards who are afraid of innocent creatures whose body weight is a tiny, tiny, and tiny, fraction yours. But where is the fire department? Where is the national guard? Where is the cancer society and the NRA when roaches have established colonies and kingdoms in America? I spent many nights observing the enemy, the invading roaches. I monitored their assault strategy and they are invading America one square foot at a time. Sadly, the FBI, the CIA, and…

Stage diving As a bus rolled down a hill rain splattered on the road, students of Edwardsville High school headed to their 12th grade trip to Niagra Falls. A faint sound of “Last Resort” by Papa Roach could be heard. Over the sound of Jacoby Shaddix screaming, Ben the kid listening to the song heard two football players talking about stage diving at a concert. Ben turned to Chase the varsity defensive end and said, “Hey you might want to be careful getting into stage diving. Normally it would…