PHATE is an intriguing action thriller that is worthy of consideration. While the premise of a woman being falsely accused of murder isn’t new to the industry, the script presents with a unique setting in Nigeria, which gives this thriller a refreshing point of view. The goal is clear and the stakes are high. The script features a very likable female protagonist who drives the plot. The audience effortlessly emotionally connects to Ida and her plight. One easily roots for Ida. In addition, the…
PASSWORD is an intriguing contained thriller. The script utilizes some of the techniques that make for a compelling thriller, such as a contained setting, isolation, cut off from communication, and the threat of harm or death. There’s a three-act structure. The opening sets up the idea of a home invasion. However, the opening with the police scanner is distracting and confusing. It’s unclear exactly what’s happening and it becomes diverting. Focus the opening more on Ray watching the house and…
solid concept. The idea of a young child disappearing and his desperate father fearing that aliens abducted him is a very appealing premise. The concept easily hooks the audience. While there’s a lot to really like about the premise, overall the script would benefit from more development. The story begins well. The first 13 pages are engaging. There’s a solid inciting event when the young boy, Micah, goes missing. The audience is emotionally invested in the child and finding him. The goal is…
UNIVERSAL DRIFTER is a supernatural, action thriller. There are solid themes about revenge and karma. This is the type of script with potential, but would benefit from further development. The second half of the script appears to work better than the first half of the script. This is worth discussing. The opening and first act set up the ordinary world of the two core characters of Annette and Jack. Jack’s introduction is intriguing, as it introduces the element of the supernatural. However,…
monsters. This is certainly a nice setup for conflict, tension, character growth, and it sets up the story to send a special message about accepting people and creatures that feel different. While the idea is well appreciated and the script shows some strength, the script would benefit from more…
SPIRITED MISADVDENTURES is a character driven story of self-discovery and healing. The story’s tone is dramatic, but nicely blended with wit and humor. The script explores solid themes about grieving, communication, reconnecting, and healing. It’s an introspective story told with subtext. One of the strengths of this script is the character of Dani. She’s well crafted as a very complex woman. She presents with a very tough exterior that’s abrasive. In fact, initially it’s challenging to like or…
and era nicely come to life and feel authentic. Visual storytelling is well done. There’s some stunning imagery (page 97). The goal is clear and the stakes are high. Given the strengths of the characters and the plot, the script is worthy of strong consideration. The script has a well-defined, three-act structure, and for the most part, the pace works well. There are good setups and payoffs (the gold ring, Jacaranda, and the Knight In Armor egg timer). There’s a solid inciting event when…
grieving, healing, and moving on with life after falling down. The tone is consistently dramatic and there’s an element of a fish out of water tale. The script features very likable and compelling characters that have strong inner conflict. The goal is clear and the risk is personal. There’s a lot to like about this script, but in every good script there’s room for more development. The story opens establishing Cora’s ordinary world. It’s well conveyed that she’s under pressure from her…
find a way out of it. The plot idea has merit and is a nice setup for comedy, conflict, and character transformation. The goal is clear. With that said, the script would benefit from further development. The structure can be strengthened. The story opens with a scene that takes place in the present day storyline and then the script transitions back to four years earlier. Reconsider this structure. In the opening scene,…
The reason for this would have been the same as those in migratory societies, practicality. Although the women were no longer restrained by the need to carry infants long distances, and the presence of a crying child would not have had the same effect on domesticated animals as on the hunted prey, they still had to be concerned about the safety of the toddler. Any task taking place while caring for children also had to be interruptible. Men and women had to spend the majority of their time…