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56 Cards in this Set

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Three quick tips to boost charisma?

Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of sentences, reduce how quickly and often you nod, pause for 2 full seconds before you speak

What is being present?

Having a moment-to-moment awareness of what's happening. Instead of being caught in your own thoughts

How do you bring yourself back to the present when wandering?

Focusing on breath or toes and then back to the other person

What are the 3 components of charisma?

Power. Warmth and Present

What is someone who projects power without warmth?


What is someone who projects warmth withou power?


What comes first in charisma?

Internal state

What are the obstacles of charisma?

Physical discomfort, tension, uncertainty

What is a big predictor of success in life?

Being confortable with uncertainty and ambiguity

What are the solutions to handling the obstacles of charisma

-Rewriting reality

-Neutralize negativity

-de-stigmatize discomfort

-Realizing we're human

-Asking what mental state is more suited to in a situation and rewrite reality to put you there

-Writing to get thoughts out of your head

What is a boosted way to rewrite reality?

Rewriting it on paper to believe the storyline

How to create a mental state?

-Visualization (Doesn't have to be new)

-Invoking gratitude

-Goodwill (hope 2 people you see will be happy)

-Compassion (Goodwill + Empathy)


What are the 4 charisma styles?

Focus, visionary, kindness and authority

What does focus charisma require?


What are the risks of Focus charisma?

-If you display too little power, you appear too eager

-If you display too little warmth, your interacyion may feel like an interview or interrogation

What does Visionary charisma require?

Complete conviction and confidence in a cause. It may not warm people but will feel passionately about their vision

What does Kindness charisma require?

Warmth. It connects to peoples hearts

What is the risk of kindness charisma?

Seem too overeager to please and it can lead to over-attachment

What does Authority charisma require

Power and its perception

What are the risks of Power charisma?

Inhibit critical thinking in others and easily make you appear arrogant.

To contradict it you have to give a little warmth

How to know what emotional state I need to bring at the moment?

Ask: How are people around me feeling?

What do they need in this moment?

When should you try new charisma styles?

Low stake situations

How do you give the perfect handshake?

-Rise if you're seated

-Make plenty eye contact

-Smile warmly but briefly

-Keep your palm flat

-Try to wrap fingers around the hand

-Lock your thumb down

-Shake from Elbow

How do you break the ice?

Ask open handed questions

What is the bounce back technique and how to do it?

It's a technique to keep the spotlight on the other person and you do it by:

1. Answer the question with a fact

2. Add a personal note

3. Redirect the question to them

How to exit a conversation with grace?

Offer something of value then dip

What does thinking about what to say next do?

It shows a lack of presence

What do master listeners do?

-Never interrupt

-Let themselves be interrupted

-Pause 2 secondw before they answer (face absorbs, reacts, thrn answers)

What will other people associate you with?

How you make then feel

How to take a compliment?

Stop. Absorb the compliment. Let it show in your face. And thank them

How to instantly make feel someone great about themselves?

Acting interested and even impressed with someone

How should ypu rephrase "no problem" and "don't worry"?

Rephrase like: "We'll take care of it"

How do you project power through voice?

Speak slowly with frequent pauses, drop intonation and breathe through your nose

What does mirroring someone's body language do?

Activates deep instincts of trust and liking

When is "Mirror-then-lead" a useful strategy?

When the person you're mirroring needs reassurance, such as when timid, anxious or awkward

What is the purpose of sitting at a 90 degree angle at somebody?

To establish rapport

When do people feel separation distress?

Whenever someone maintaining significant eye contact with us turn away. To avoid it keep eye contact for 2/3 seconds after the end of an interaction

What always kills charisma on the spot?

A body language of insecurity

How do you increase poise?

By avoiding:

-nodding more than once

-excessive verbal reassurance

-restlessness or fidgeting

How to deal with a dificult person through warmth?

Recall something they've done for you and express youe gratitude. The best compliments are personal and specific

How to maintain a support for an idea?

Remiding people that they chose you/company/service/suggestion

How to deal with a toxic person?

Rewrite reality to get into empathy

What should you considet before entering a difficult conversation?



-The other persons mental state

What is the right charisma style for bad news?


How should you deliver criticism?

Think about timing and location, get into a mindset of compassion and empathy, decide exactly what points to make and depersonalize

How should you start a critical feedback?

With a positive note. Tell them what you want to see from them and not what you don't want

What should you do when you sense defensiveness?

Dial up your warmth

What should you do when apologizing?

First hear them out without rebutting and fully understand, then say you're sorry with meaning, show you understand the consequences and present the step(s) to ensure it won't happen again.

How do you communicate warmth through the phone?

By smiling

What is the main thing to do when presenting an idea?

Make the single most important idea crystal clear and present 3 supporting points (because people think in triads)

What should you do when crafting your sentences in a presentation?

-Use the word "you" as often as possible.

-beware negations

-Avoid irritants, sounds or movements that don't add to your message

How do you project power in a presentation?

-Adopt a wide stance

-Find the right volume to project confidence

How do you project warmth in a preaentation?

-Speak as if you're sharing a secret

-Give 1/2 seconds of eye contact per person as you roam the room/stage

How to feel more confident presenting?

Take the focus off yourself

How do you curb the envy of someone?

Show gratitude of something they've done for you with an highlighted example

How do you practice vulnerability?

By paying attention to not just what you share but how you feel while sharing