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153 Cards in this Set

  • Front
  • Back
Anniversary Reaction:

(Chapter 15)
An emotional reliving of a person's death each year around the time that the death occurred.
Emotional shock wave:

(Chapter 15)
The emotional response to a death felt throughout the family system, producing stress and altering relationships even among family members emotionally removed from the deceased.
Healthy theory of death:

(Chapter 15)
A cognitive understanding of death that helps the family to accept the pain of the loss and makes it possible for the family to evolve a new perspectives that reestablishes a positive sense of control, fairness, and trust in the future.
Replacement role:

(Chapter 15)
When a child is conceived to take the place of a deceased family member, or when a surviving child is affirmed for traits that remind parents of a deceased child.
Unrecognized or unsanctioned grief:

(Chapter 15)
Grief that exists even though society does not recognize one's need, right, or capacity to grieve.

(Chapter 15)
A role transition brought on by the death of a spouse.
In what ways is the "emotional shock wave" dependent on the circumstances of the death? (2)

- who the person that died was in the family

- what kind of relationships the person who died had with others
Saunders' "7 P's of Pain":

1. Physical Pain

2. Spiritual Pain

3. Intellectual/Psychological Pain

4. Emotional Pain

5. Interpersonal Pain

6. Financial Pain

7. Bureaucratic Pain
What are the characteristics of "Physical Pain" (7 P's)?

- The type we most commonly think of

- Anger is most commonly associated with physical pain

- relationships change
Comfort Care:

Bringing comfort to a dying person however that is required.

Example: pain med delivered in a no-pain way (more creams than injections, etc).
What are the characteristics of "Spiritual Pain" (7 P's)?

- Can be the pain of the family of the dying person or the dying person

- Questions about the afterlife, the meaning of life, etc.

- The hospice movement keeps people on staff that are knowledgeable of many spiritual/philosophical orientations
What are the characteristics of "Intellectual/Psychological Pain" (7 P's)?

- When people start to die dimension sets in

- example: Alzheimer's

- Frustration and sadness for sufferer and the family.
What are the types of emotion of "Emotional Pain" (7 P's)?

- Depression

- Anxiety

- Withdrawal
What are the characteristics of "Interpersonal Pain" (7 P's)?

- Relationship dynamics become more amplified when someone dies

- relationship problems also get amplified

- Hospice addressed this by having a member like a social worker on the team.
What are the characteristics of "Financial Pain" (7 P's)?

- How much debt the dying person will leave their family

- Stressful and worrisome for the dying person as well as the family
What are the characteristics of "Bureaucratic Pain" (7 P's)?

- For the family there is a lot of paperwork and legal forms to fill out for many different institutions

- lots of calls, including to insurance companies.

- being able to discuss what is going on with physicians
Five Stages of Dying (Kubler-Ross):

1. Denial (just doesn't seem real, distance yourself from the truth)

2. Anger (once the news sinks in ager replaces denial, anger is easier than sorrow and gives one a sense of control)

3. Bargaining (figure out if something can be done, and try to negotiate with death)

4. Depression (happens when the news really sinks in, giving up)

5. Acceptance (tie up the loose ends, and in a way come to peace with death)
What is the name of the book where Kubler-Ross came up with the Five Stages of Dying?

"On Death and Dying"
In the Five Stages of Dying, who can one be angry at?

God, doctors, the world in general, themselves
Do the Five Stages of Dying need to be in any particular sequential order?

No, people can skip around also go through stages multiple times.

The most common pattern, however, is: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
Who goes through the Five Stages of Dying?

The person dying or anyone close to the person dying.
What was a big cultural motivator for Kubler-Ross developing the Five Stages of Dying and writing so profusely on the subject?

We live in a death-denying, grief-dismissing world and we don't know how to deal with death or with someone who lost someone close to them.
What is the best thing you can do for someone who just had someone close to them die?

Just let them talk about it and listen. Just being there is all that they need, you don't need to say anything.
How long does Hospice follow up after the death of a patient?

Up to a year. Especially on anniversaries, holidays, nights.
What is the name of the founder of the Hospice movement in Great Britain?

How long is the average stay of Hospice?

2 weeks
What is the requirement for a person to be allowed to have Hospice to come into their home?

2 physicians must say that 6 months or less to live
What cultures (3) generally do not approve of Hospice?

Mexicans, African Americans, Asians
What is the number one concern of the Hospice movement? (ie the reason that it began)

Quality of life
What are the family tasks (4) that families deal with during death?

- Shared acknowledgement of the reality of death

- Shared experience of the pain of grief

- Reorganization of the family system

- Reinvestment in other relationships and life pursuits
Anticipatory grief:

Grief that starts before a person dies and/or getting ready for grief before person dies.

Ex: Alzheimer's, dealing w/ legal things, helping dying person attain last wishes
Grief and mixed emotions after death:

Grief and relief. Relief if the process was hard and long time of care-taking.

Also increasing intimacy (including physical intimacy) as a way of coping.
Social death:

When someone dies the family of the person who dies often experiences social death where in other people engage in closing off from them, shutting out, not calling, not visiting.

This happens because people feel uncomfortable and don't know what to say or do.
What makes grief more difficult: if the person who died was a central figure in the family or emotionally cut off?

Both make grief more difficult.
What are 3 ways in which people can work through their grief and unresolved issues with the deceased person?

1. Write a letter to the deceased.

2. Have a memorial for the deceased.

3. Talk to an empty chair to express what they needed to say.
How do employers handle grief?

- Don't really address it, or address it well

- Still expect employees to be at their best

- Bereavement is usually only 3 days leave for IMMEDIATE family members (may get none just for friends or more distant family members)
What is the Jewish tradition for dealing with grief after the funeral?

Sitting Shiva for 7 days and don't cut hair or shave for 30 days
What is the WASP way of dealing with grief after a death in the family?

Grief is hidden and no one talks about it after the ceremony. You don't let it "linger."
In what way do teens who lose their parents generally deal with their grief?

They tend to cope with escapism.
In what way do teens who lose other teens (siblings, cousins, friends, etc) generally deal with their grief?

They tend to feel guilty.
In what way do new couples who lose their parents generally deal with their grief?

The new spouse may feel jealous or supportive.
How do couples deal with a miscarriage?

Either with blame or mutual reliance.
In what way do families who lose their young children generally deal with their grief?

- They may feel angry, guilty, and divorce as a result.

- Also experience the anniversary reaction very strongly.
In what way do adults who lose their parents generally deal with their grief (4)?

- They feel like a true grown up for the first time.

- They may have a feeling of self-direction

- May share nostalgia and sentimentality with their siblings

- If they are an only child they may feel more isolated.
In what way do people in later life who lose others in later life generally deal with their grief?

It is more anticipated and seems more natural and is easier to accept.
Who deals with death better a widow or a widower? And Why?

The widow deals with death better than the widower.

The widow deals with it better because she is more likely to have stronger social ties with friends and the community, and thus more support.
What are six factors that mediate the family system's response to death?

(Chapter 15)
1. The nature of the death

2. The position of the deceased in the family

3. The family's history of losses

4. The openness and adaptability of the family system

5. The family's societal, cultural, ethnic and religious context

6. The timing of the death in the family's life cycle
What are the 2 factors that are important when addressing the nature of the death?

(Chapter 15)
1. If the death was expected or not

2. The reasons for the death (cause of death)
What are the 2 factors that play into the timing of one's death that effect the nature of one's death?

(chapter 15)
1. The age and the generational position of the deceased

2. The normative developmental Stressors that accompany the death
"Off time" deaths:

(Chapter 15)
Deaths that defy the accepted views on life expectancy (opposite of expected deaths).

ex: accidental deaths, deaths of children
What are the 2 boundary strategies that families can engage in during the grieving process?

(Chapter 15)
1. OPEN external boundaries of the family up to allow for outside support - this helps with coping.

2. CLOSE external boundaries to the outside world - can intensify level of stress and tension that must be managed within the system.
Binuclear family system:

(Chapter 16)
A system comprised of two active and involved parents and two separate households.
Boundary ambiguity:

(Chapter 16)
Confusion about who is in the family and who is not.
Child custody:

(Chapter 16)
The legal parameters of each parent's relationship with the children that are established during the divorce.
Co-parenting Relationship:

(Chapter 16)
The termination of the spousal role combined with the maintenance of the parental role and the sharing of responsibilities for one's children.

(Chapter 16)
The LEGAL termination of a marriage.
Divorce Mediation:

(Chapter 16)
A negotiation process designed to minimize divorcing couples' conflicts over personal, economic, or child-related differences by concretely examining their options in a goal-focused and task-oriented manner, and making constructive decisions before appearing in court.
Family reorganization:

(Chapter 16)
The fourth and final transition of the divorce process, during which the family clarifies it's new internal and external boundaries, redefines its identity, stabilizes its emotional environment, and reestablishes strategies for managing the newly created household.
Individual Cognition:

(Chapter 16)
The first transition of the divorce process, which begins when a spouse first realizes that he or she is feeling dissatisfied or distressed in the marriage.
Joint Custody

(Chapter 16)
When both parents continue to be parents to all of their children despite a divorce.
Marital Distress:

(Chapter 16)
When one or both parents in a marriage-like relationship believe that the relationship suffers from serious, long standing problems that threaten the stability of the relationship.

(Chapter 16)
The third transition of the divorce process, which occurs when one spouse moves out of the home.
Sole Custody:

(Chapter 16)
When one parent assumes complete responsibility for child care with the other parent generally receiving visitation rights and, in many instances, responsibility for child support.
What percentage of marriages end in divorce in the US?

Just under 50%
What percentage of children's parents divorce in the US?

What percentage of divorced mothers remarry in the US?

What percentage of divorced fathers remarry in the US?

Divorce, single-parenting, and remarriage are viewed as ___ tasks.

Developmental tasks
What are the three components that Levinger explains contribute to divorce or staying together?

- Attraction to one's partner

- The availability of attractive alternatives

- The existence of barriers to leaving the marriage
According to Levinger's model what is the ideal situation for a couple to stay together?

If the partners are attracted to one another, don't have any attractive alternatives, and have lots of social, financial, family, barriers and shared commitments.
What are the four steps to disaffection (breaking up/divorce/falling out of love)?

- Before Dissatisfaction Sets in Phase: "little fictions" about flaws, see them as cute instead

- Beginning Phase: Psychological break up

- Middle Phase: disappointment

- End Phase: hopelessness
What are the six stations of divorce?

1. Emotional divorce (pulling away from partner emotionally)

2. Legal divorce (change of status through the courts, legal division of property and debt)

3. Economic divorce (who gets what and who is liable for what)

4. Co-parental divorce (legal custody of children and adjusting to new parental roles)

5. Community divorce (breaking up w/ co-workers, neighbors, extended family members, friends)

6. Psychic divorce (you no longer see yourself as a couple and instead as a complete individual)
What are some important characteristics of Psychic Divorce?

- It can take 5-10 years, but some people never go through it.

- Lots of people just feel so uncomfortable alone they get into a new relationship before they psychically divorce from the old one.

- It involves: grieving, putting things in realistic perspective, letting go of intense emotion, feeling independent and whole again.
Divorce hangover:

Can't psychically detach from the old relationship and get over intense emotion
How does the parents degree of conflict before the divorce effect the child's adjustment after the divorce?

- If there was high conflict before: breaking up is better for the child, it brings relief

- If there was low conflict before: breaking up is worse for the child, it leaves them devastated. (ex=parents on a mission)
What factors (5) effect the child's adjustment to the divorce or their parents?

- Degree of parental conflict before the divorce

(After the divorce:)
- Amount of financial hardships

- Actions of the divorcing couple

-Adjustment of custodial parent

- The quality of the relationship of the divorced couple
What does the deficit model of divorce say are the short term consequences of the first year of divorce for children of divorce?

- Grieving over the loss

- Reduced standard of living (may translate into "what I can't have anymore")

- Adjusting to transitions (new schools, new homes, shared custody)

- Relief from conflict
What does the deficit model of divorce say are the long term consequences for children of divorce?

- Greater anxiety about marriage

- Unrealistically high expectations for a partner

- Economic/occupational impact (tied to financial hardships rather than divorce)
As opposed to the deficit model, what are some possible positive consequences of divorce?

- 80% lead happy, well adjusted lives

- Better relationship with custodial parent (esp girls with moms)

- More communication with mothers

- More democratic parenting
Important things to do to take care of your self while going through the process of divorce:

- Take care of your own mental health

- Allow children to grieve

- Try to have a conflict free relationship with the ex for the sake of the kids

- Surround yourself and your children with a comfortable healthy environment
How does reparenting effect children compared to divorce alone?

Reparenting may actually be more difficult or traumatic for children because of:

- Changes in parenting style

- Disagreement over roles of stepparents
When do we see the greatest level of involvement of both parents in terms of remarriage?

When neither parents are remarried.
When do we see the least involvement of both parents in terms of remarriage?

When the father has remarried and the mother hasn't.
Why are dating parents not considered "single"?

They have kids and so are never a "single" person but instead a "package deal."
Do cohabitating couples have more money than couples that live separately?

Not necessarily because they still might keep their finances separately.
What percentage of divorced individuals experience distress during the first year?

What percentage of divorced individuals say divorce was a good decision after 6 years?

How does the family's level of differentiation effect the family adjustment to divorce?

- If the family is well differentiated the system tolerates change and the adjustment is easier.

- If the family is poorly differentiated they can become either: fused (over-involved) or disengaged (emotionally cut off)
What are the four horseman of the apocalypse (Gottman) that make divorce highly likely?

(Chapter 16)
- Criticism

- Defensiveness

- Contempt

- Stonewalling

- (also important is the escalation of conflict, or being unable to deescalate conflict)
What are some examples of externalizing disorders for children of divorce?

(Chapter 16)
anti-social acts, aggression, noncompliance, a lack of self-regulation, low social responsibility, and lowered achievement motivation
What are some examples of internalizing disorders for children of divorce?

(Chapter 16)
anxiety, depression, poor self esteem, and withdrawn from social activities.
How do black women's strategies for maintaining emotional environments for their family different than other women?

(Chapter 16)
Less likely to depend on ongoing cooperation between former spouses and more on the emotional environment within the extend family system.
How do boys and girls differ on the ways they tend to grieve after the divorce of their parents?

- Boys tend to act out

- Girls tend to withdraw
Joint legal custody:

(Chapter 17)
When parents legally share responsibility for child care, parental decision-making, and economic support of their children following divorce.
Joint physical custody:

(Chapter 17)
When parents equally share the responsibility for providing their children with a residence. The term is used to distinguish between this arrangement and joint legal custody, which involves shared parental decision-making and economic support, and a situation in which children generally reside with one parent most of the time.
Parental child:

(Chapter 17)
A role assumed by a child (often a daughter or older child) requiring him or her to take responsibility for parenting other children (or the parent) in the single-parent family system.
Sole administrator:

(Chapter 17)
The role assumed by a single parent that involves accepting complete authority and responsibility for the household and all related tasks, and enlisting the help of others when needed, with out allowing them to take over. That is, the parent accepts that the single-parent household can no longer operate as it did when two parents were present.
How the tasks of single-parent families differ?

They still have rules, strategies, themes, and identity tasks they just might be a little different to adjust to the unique family environment.
What are the unique challenges that effect the tasks of single-parent families?

- Time (harder to find because one parent is both caretaker of children and household and financially responsible)

- Money (usually money is tighter, and less of it to go around)

- Feeling like a "real family"
What are the three different way that families can become single-parent families?

- Death

- Long Distance

- Divorce
How much more likely are moms to be heads of single-parent families than dads?

5 times more likely
What percent of white, Hispanic, and African American children live in single-parent families?

- White = 22%

- Hispanic = 34%

- African American = 62%
Of single-parent African American families, what percent are a result of divorce?

What percentage of African American women marry?

What percentages of marriages in the US are remarriages for either one or both partners?

(Chapter 18)
Of the couples that remarry, what percentage of these individuals have children from a previous relationship and form step-families?

(Chapter 18)
What percentage of Americans will be part of a step-family at some point in their lives?

(Chapter 18)
What percentage of all children are expected to live in a remarried family for one year before reaching the age of 18?

(Chapter 18)
What percentage of divorced individuals remarry within one year?

(Chapter 18)
Are remarriages more likely to end than first marriages?

(Chapter 18)
What age of women are more likely to get remarried after divorce?

(Chapter 18)
If they are under the age of 25 at the time of divorce. The more educated and employed they are the less likely they are to remarry.
Not all couples remarry after divorce instead many couples today:

How does a woman's income level change after a divorce?

It decreases by 27%
How does a man's income level change after a divorce?

It increases by 10%
What percent of the cost of raising a child is generally covered by child support?

What percent of single mothers receive court ordered child support?

What percentage of mothers only receive partial payment of their child support?

What percentage of mother don't get any payment of child support?

What is lower, the rate of mom paying dad child support or dad paying mom child support?

Mom paying dad child support
What percentage of children live with their custodial mother?

What are some characteristics (2) of custodial mothers?

- Increased demands + decreased resources = high levels of stress

- Sole administrator role is most positive for mothers
What are some characteristics (3) of non-custodial fathers?

- must alter their role

- feel a loss of control and sense of home

- tend to withdraw from children
What are some characteristics (2) of custodial fathers?

- Rely on family and girlfriend for help

- Likely to remarry
What percentage of women move back in with their family of origin after their divorce?

When is the transition for a mother moving back in with her family of origin made easier?

- Easier if family is supportive

- Easier if individuation from the FOO was successful before she married and divorced
How do men and women differ on their use of social support after a divorce?

- Men decrease support from friends and contact with family

- Women increase support from friends and family
What is the problem with the "broken family" concept?

(Chapter 17)
It has negative connotations and makes it seem like divorced families or single-parent families can't be "real" families.
What percent of mother-headed households with children in the US live in poverty?

(Chapter 17)

As opposed to 9% of two-parent households
What percentage of Black single-parent families live in poverty?

(Chapter 17)
What are the main 2 types of tasks that divorced parents have to deal with?

(Chapter 17)
- Resolving custody issues

- Reworking parenting roles
Courtship and perpetration for remarriage:

(Chapter 18)
An initial stage in the process of remarriage that provides time to resolve issues related to the earlier divorce of one or both partners and a gradual introduction of the new stepparent into the present single-parent system.
Early remarriage:

(Chapter 18)
The second stage of the process of remarriage beginning immediately after the remarriage, during which the system typically remains divided primarily along biological lines.
Incomplete institution:

(Chapter 18)
A lack of norms and institutional supports for stepfamilies.
Late remarriage:

(Chapter 18)
The fourth and final stage of the remarriage process, marked by a greater sense of shared intimacy and authenticity in family relationships. Restructuring is now complete, and the family is characterized by flexibility in roles and interactional patters. Personal one-to-one relationships take precedence over disruptive triangles and coalitions.
Metafamily system:

(Chapter 18)
A remarried family system that includes the households of both biological parents (perhaps other stepparents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) and steprelatives (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins).
Middle remarriage:

(Chapter 18)
The third stage of the remarriage process during which the structure of the family will gradually undergo change.
Remarried family:

(Chapter 18)
A family in which one or both spouses have been married previously.

(Chapter 18)
A family in which one or both partners brings children into the household, resulting in the presence of both biological and nonbiological parents.
Six Stations of Remarriage:

1. Emotional remarriage (let your defenses down and become close with new partner)

2. Community Remarriage (the self in with the new family and create new friends and connections together)

3. Parental Remarriage (defining parental roles and family rules together)

4. Legal Remarriage

5. Economic Remarriage (keep property separate or together and how to pay for children)

6. Psychic Remarriage (feel whole again as part of a couple, can be hard if didn't finish psychic divorce from last partner)
Are stepfamilies more common today than they were in the 18th and 19th centuries?

Stepfamilies were very common back then too, it's just that they were usually a result of death of a spouse and not divorce.

As a result stepfamilies and remarriages are more psychologically complicated.
What type of families does the term "Incomplete institution" refer to?

According to the deficit model, why are people so quick to remarry after divorce?

It is uncomfortable being with out a partner so suddenly.
What is currently happening to the remarriage rates?

They are dropping as a result of less pressure to find "new dad" or "new family."
What are some immediate concerns that stepfamilies need to deal with?

- What children should call stepparents (i.e. by first name or mom or dad)

- The script isn't clear, so families need to explicitly define it.

- Don't know who to invite to what event (stepparents' family v. ex-spouses family)
What are some characteristics (6) of stepfamilies?

- Structurally more complex

- Born of loss

- Love not assumed

- Unclear roles

- Sexual attractive and PDA for new parents

- Stepparents don't have many legal rights
How long does the early remarriage stage last?

Approximately 2 years
What are some characteristics of middle remarriage?

- Still stressful

- After several years stepparents focus more on parents and less on stepchildren (newness of kids is gone)

-Still a very vulnerable time
In the late remarriage stage what are the 4 ways that step parents have more clarity in their roles?

1. No more competition between stepparent and biological parent

2. More bond between generations (intergenerational)

3. Role of stepparent become sanctioned by family

4. Stepparents qualities become incorporated into role, i.e. they get to personalize their role and thus feel more comfortable.
Do all stepfamilies make it through the remarriage stages?

No. But any transitions take time to make sense of.
Ten (Six) Commandments for Stepparenting:

1. Provide neutral territory for new Stepfamily (move into different home, form new family traditions, have a space ready for visiting kids)

2. No preconceived role (develop respect from child, don't barge in saying you're their new parent)

3. Set limits (as a new couple, don't let children divide the couple, work on strengthening the relationship)

4. Past loyalties (respect the families established loyalties and functioning, don't make everything a contest)

5. Neutral Response (biological parents need to be careful about what they say about new stepparent, be neutral and let kids express their own feelings)

6. No instant love (be patient and assert yourself slowly)
What are the issues (3) in courtship and preparation for remarriage?

(Chapter 18)
- Resolution of the previous marriage

- Gradual modification of the single-parent structure to remarried structure

- Anticipation of remarriage (negotiation of expectations)
Common myths 7) about remarriage and stepfamilies:

(Chapter 18)
- "Instant love"

- "Wicked stepmother"

- That the stepparent will "rescue children from a deprived background or heal a broken family"

- The biological parent might expect the stepparent to "adore my children"

- The stepparent might expect children to "accept them with open arms"

- The parent who is remarrying may feel that they found someone to "share their load" who will "finally give me a good relationship"

- Children may feel that "my parents will get back together if I just ignore this new spouse and they go away"