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166 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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When a church leader or member is visited by an individual who knows they need to change, what are their three options?
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1) Hope and pray
2) Defer and refer 3) Seize and minister |
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What is the broad definition of Biblical Counseling?
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The personal ministry of God's Word to a person (or a couple or family).
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What does this definition include?
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What we might call personal "discipleship" and even personal "evangelism."
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How would this be stated in a more formative sense?
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Proactive personal "one another" edification ministries.
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What is the narrow definition of Biblical counseling?
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The personal ministry of God’s Word to a person (or a couple or family) who is experiencing personal or relational (interpersonal) life problems.
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What does this definition involve?
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personal ministry to a person who struggles with a “problem” and, to some degree at least, desires help.
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Explain the River of Discipleship
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In the river of Discipleship, the way to get on the river is through evangelism. The river has rocks and dangerous rapids and it’s possible someone could get capsized. The Biblical counselor’s job is to grab the boat and drag it over to the shore where the boat can be repaired and instruction can be given as to how to operate the boat in dangerous waters. The goal is to get the boat back onto the river.
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Who should counsel?
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All of God's people
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What are the 11 key passages that teach that all of God's people should counsel?
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1) Romans 15:14
2) Galatians 6:1-2 3) Ephesians 4:11-16 4) Colossians 3:16 5) 1 Thessalonians 5:14 6) 2 Thessalonians 3:15 7) Titus 2:4-5 8) Hebrews 3:12-14 9) Hebrews 10:24-25 10) James 5:19-20 11) Jude 22-23 |
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What are the three observations about the previous list of verses?
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1) These ministries are assigned to all Christians.
2) These ministries involve the personal ministry of God’s truth (explicitly or implicitly) 3) These ministries are embedded in the body of Christ |
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What is the role of pastors in counseling?
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1) Pastors must counsel
2) Pastors must equip the members for counseling each other. |
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What are the two ways a pastor must counsel?
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1) As a Christian
2) As part of the call of being a shepherd |
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What are the five ways a pastor must equip the members for counseling each other?
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1) Through your public preaching and teaching
2) Through your own counseling ministry 3) Through training them in formal ways 4) Through inviting them to observe you minister both formally and informally 5) Through modeling the application of God's truth in your life |
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What are the four benefits in our preaching that we gain from our counseling?
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1) Application and illustrations
2) Willingness to be transparent with the congregation 3) Your hearers will perceive you differently if you’ve had counseling relationship with them. 4) It allows you to better relate your message to your congregation |
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What are the four benefits in our counseling that we gain from our preaching?
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1) Sheer knowledge of the Bible
2) Learning the entire context of Scripture in a counseling situation 3) See the grand story of Scripture and how your story fits within it 4) If your messages are recorded you can point people to sermons that you have preached that they can then listen to. |
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What are the three reasons why we should counsel?
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1) Because Jesus our Lord modeled personal ministry, not just public ministry
2) Because Jesus’ apostles model personal ministry, not just public ministry 3) Because the Bible calls us to minister to people in “one another ways” |
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What does Mark 7-11 tell us about Jesus personal ministry?
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1) There are 26 scenes in which Jesus talks.
2) Four scenes are action. 3) The other 22 scenes contain verbal ministry of the word. 4) There are four instances of public. 5)Only one did not arise out of a subsequent conversation or lead to one. 6)That leaves 18 scenes in which Jesus did interpersonal ministry of the word |
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What does it mean to have 20/20 vision?
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We need to minister in public and in private
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What is the key verse for 20/20 vision?
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Acts 20:20
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Why should we counsel biblically?
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Because the Bible is not only inspired and inerrant, but fully sufficient to accomplish the purpose for which it was written and infinitely superior to all human sources of counsel
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What are the five key verses that support this?
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1) Psalm 1
2) Psalm 19 3) Psalm119 4) John 17:17 5) 1 Thessalonians 4:1-2 |
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What are the five titles found in Psalm 19?
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1) Law
2) Statues 3) Precepts 4) Commands 5) Ordinances |
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What are the twelve descriptions found in Psalm 19?
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1) Perfect
2) Complete 3) Comprehensive 4) Flawless 5) Trustworthy 6) Solid foundation on which I can build my life 7) It's right 8) Radiant 9) Pure 10) Enduring 11) Righteous 12) More precious than pure gold and sweeter than honey |
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What are the five functions found in Psalm 19?
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1) Revives and restores the soul
2) Makes you wise 3) Gives you joy 4) Gives you light 5) Brings warning 6) Rewards you and brings good things in your life |
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What are the six levels of the theological pyramid?
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1) Practical (or applied) theology
2) Historical theology - history of interpretation 3) Systematic theology 4) Biblical theology - how do you understand the Bible 5) Hermeneutics - how do you interpret it? 6) Inspiration (Canon) - what is the Bible |
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Why shouldn't we just do levels one through five?
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Doing levels 1-5 without 6 is unbiblical; it fails to accomplish the Bible’s purpose.
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Why shouldn't we just do level six?
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Doing level 6 without 1-5 is unbiblical; it ministers without God’s specially-revealed truth.
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What is the thesis statement for why we should counsel biblically within the local church?
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Your local church should not have a counseling center, it should be a counseling center (to which you might add a formal counseling center as an outreach ministry and in that sense have a center).
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What are the thirteen benefits to counseling in a local church?
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1) Oversight of God-ordained pastors and elders
2) Preaching and teaching of God's Word 3) Context of worship 4) Administration of the baptism and the Lord's Supper 5) Fellowship, encouragement, examples of mature believers 6) Opportunities to serve and minister 7) Resource people within the body 8) Benevolence assistance, financial help, manpower 9) Formative and redemptive/corrective/restorative church discipline 10) Office space, facilities 11) Members' homes for discipleship, counseling, and small groups 12) Greater legal protection 13) All the above free of charge! |
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In our vision of an Eph 3:14-22; 4:1-16 (esp. 4:11-16) “every member ministry,” what does that ministry look like in the passage?
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1) The final product includes us looking more like Christ, maturity, unity, power, a building up, growth in knowledge, as each part does its work.
2 The specific task and action that members do in this section of Scripture is speaking the truth in love. This means that everyone in the church has been equipped to speak the gospel to one another. This means that you bring the implications of the gospel so that the discouraged man or woman can know that he or she has the presence of Jesus during this hard confrontation. |
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What are the four uses David Powlison suggest for the way we use the word "psychology" today?
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1) Psychology per se
2) Psychology as knowledge about human functioning 3) Psychology as competing philosophies 4) Psychology as psychotherapy |
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What is psychology per se?
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The functioning of the human soul itself, how a person actually thinks, feels, wills, interprets, desires, remembers, etc.
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What is psychology as knowledge about human functioning?
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The close observation and description of human functioning (#1 above), whether from research, case experience, self-examination, etc. and whether done by novelists, ministers, wise mothers, clinical psychologists, children research scientist, etc. Such observations are theory-laden, subject to interpretation
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What is psychology as competing philosophies of life and theories of human personality?
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The various “psychologies” (plural, not singular) that reflect the differing, competing theories about human functioning (#2 above).
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What is psychology as psychotherapy?
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Based on #3 above, the actual counseling practices and strategies designed to bring change. Prior to the 20th century the practice of counseling (i.e. conversational intervention) was the heritage of family members and ministers, while psychiatrists, social workers, and psychologists engaged in medical work, community health, and research
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How must we view the various man-made psychologies?
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At their essence, as competitors to Christ-centered counseling
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What are the four passages involved in Paul Tripp's metaphor of the Voice?
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1) Genesis 1-2
2) Genesis 3 3) Genesis 3-Revelation 20 4) Revelation 21-22 |
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What does Biblical counseling understand?
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There is a central message from Scripture
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What do we learn from Genesis 1 & 2?
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We were created by God to hear and to follow one voice, the voice of God
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What do we learn from Genesis 3?
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We encounter the entrance of the competing voice, an interloper, a false counselor who deceives the first human parents and he continues to deceive additional human parents throughout the rest of history
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What do we learn from Genesis 3 through Revelation 20?
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The work of God from Genesis 3 through Revelation 20 is doing one specific thing. He is rescuing those deceived by the false voice and return to the one true voice.
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What happens in Revelation 20?
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A final judgment occurs
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What are the six steps David Powlison recommends for how we should interact with non-biblical psychologies and therapies?
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#1 Understand and apply God’s truth about people, life, and ministry.
#2 Know what the approach teaches. #3 Evaluate the approach in light of scripture #4 Evaluate where the approach is perceptive and provocative #5 Evaluate where the approach is persuasive and perverse #6 Reinterpret the approach in light of Scripture, with a ministry agenda to convert both those who teach it and those who follow it |
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According to Sande what are the three opportunities conflict provides?
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1) An opportunity to glorify God
2) An opportunity to serve others 3) An opportunity to grow to be more like Jesus |
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In conflict what are the four ways I can glorify God?
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1) You can trust God
2) You can obey God 3) You can imitate God 4) You can acknowledge God |
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What are the five ways we can serve others when in conflict?
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1) Help an opponent understand his interests and find better solutions to his problems that he wouldn't have developed alone (Phil. 2:3-4)
2) Provide for his or her spiritual, emotional, or material needs (Gal. 6:2, 9-10) 3) Help others learn where they have been wrong and need to change (Gal. 6:1-2) 4) Encourage others to trust in Jesus Christ 5) Teach and encourage others by your example |
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What are the three ways God uses conflict to help you grow to be more like Christ?
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1) To conform you to the likeness of His Son
2) To expose sinful attitudes and habits in your life 3) To stretch and challenge you in carefully tailored ways |
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What are the four G's of peacemaking?
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1) Glorify God
2) Get the log out of your own eye 3) Gently restore 4) Go and be reconciled |
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What are the seven A's of confession?
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1) Address everyone involved
2) Avoid if, but, and maybe 3) Admit specifically 4) Acknowledge the hurt 5) Accept the consequences 6) Alter your behavior 7) Ask for forgiveness (and allow time) |
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What are the four promises one makes regarding forgiveness?
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1) "I will not dwell on this incident."
2) "I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you." 3) "I will not talk to others about this incident." 4) "I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship." |
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What is Matthew 9:36?
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When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
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What is 2 Corinthians 5:14-15?
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14 For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; 15 and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.
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What is 2 Timothy 3:16-17?
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16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.
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In the case study of Paul's ministry in 2 Corinthians 1:1-11 what is the situational heat?
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1) Intense affliction
2) Persecution to the point of death for being a Christain (vv. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) |
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In the case study of Paul's ministry in 2 Corinthians 1:1-11 what are the four pieces of bad fruit?
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1) Doubt
2) Self-righteousness 3) Bitterness 4) Abandonment |
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In the case study of Paul's ministry in 2 Corinthians 1:1-11 what are the seven things God provides?
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1) God is in sovereign control, v.1, 9 (cf. 12:7-10)
2) God has a good purpose in our suffering, v.9 (cf. 12:7-10; Rom 8:28-30; Gen 50:20) 3) God provides grace and comfort, v.2, 3-4 4) Jesus is our fellow-sufferer, v.5 (Phil 3:10) 5) God raises the dead, v.9 6) God delivers his people, v.10 7) God stirs others to pray, and God answers prayer, v.11 |
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In the case study of Paul's ministry in 2 Corinthians 1:1-11 what are the four pieces of good fruit?
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1) Praise, to God, v.3; which also leads to thanksgiving by others, v.11
2) Patient endurance v.6 (Jas 1:2-4; etc.) 3) Enlists prayer, v.8,11 4) Comforting ministry, to others, v.4,6,7,8 |
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What is the three phase ministry model?
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1) Enter his world (v. 35a)
2) Understand his need (v. 36) 3) Bring him Jesus and his answers (v. 35b) |
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What is the text of Scripture that the three phase ministry model is taken from?
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Matthew 9:35-36
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What are the three implications for your ministry if you enter his world?
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1) Spend time with the person
2) Develop a loving, warm, welcoming relationship 3) This invites the person to entrust himself to you |
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What are the three implications for your ministry if you understand his need?
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1) Interview/gather data to know the person, his problems, and his felt needs
2) Interpret this information biblically and define his true needs 3) Respond with Christ-like love, compassion, and commitment to help |
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What are the four implications for your ministry if you bring him Jesus and his answers?
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1) Speak God's truth in love to comfort and/or confront the person
2) Direct him to specific Big Arrow (R.B.O.) root/fruit changes through practical instruction and homework. 3) Guide and coach him as he progressively changes and grows. 4) Equip and commission him to grow in desire and skill to counsel himself and others. |
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What are your three goals when entering someone's world?
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1) Build a warm, welcoming, godly relationship with the person
2) So that he will be encouraged to confidently trust you as God’s instrument 3) So that you can lead him to a saving and growing relationship with Jesus. |
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What are the two biblical models that underlie this ministry goal?
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1) God's plan of redemption
2) Christ's incarnation |
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What are the two points under God's plan of redemption?
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1) God accepts us as we are, in Christ (Justification and Adoption)
2) To make us what he wants us to be (growth, maturation, "progressive sanctification" |
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What are the three points under Christ's incarnation?
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1) Jesus humbled himself by entering our world and taking on our flesh
2) Jesus identified with our experience 3) Result: We desire to come to Jesus with confidence |
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What are the five essential ingredients in a Godly ministry relationship?
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1) Love
2) Compassion 3) Respect 4) Trust 5) Hope |
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What are two points in trust being a two way street?
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1) Make a conscious decision to trust the person, unless contradictory data emerges (at which time you should humbly and tentatively inquire).
2) Minister in such a way as to invite his trust |
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What are the four ways you can minister to invite trust?
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1) Be honest about your qualifications, experience, availability, agenda, etc.
2) Keep your promises 3) Be honest about your failures in the counseling process 4) Maintain biblical confidentiality |
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What are the thirteen ways you can give someone hope?
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1) Root his thinking in God and his gospel provisions
2) Give him an eternal perspective 3) Remind him that growth is progressive, a process 4) Model hope from your own life 5) Describe God's successful work in other believers 6) Don't minimize his sin; maximize God's power to forgive and change him 7) Study and memorize key hope-giving verses to share 8) Apply key Bible stories and characters to his situation 9) Use biblical labels and categories (where purdent) to describe problems 10) Help him see God's purposes in trials 11) Sort out his concerns vs. his responsibilities 12) Provide practical resources 13) Assure him of your hope in God for him, and carry that for him |
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What are the two circles in Paul Tripp's "Two Circles"?
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1) Circle of concern
2) Circle of responsibility |
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What should you point out with the circle of concern?
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None of my concerns are my responsibilities
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What are the two steps to do with your concerns?
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1) Pray about all my concerns
2) Specific steps to accomplish my concerns |
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What happens when the circle is too big?
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We have taken responsibility for too many things
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What happens when the circle is too small?
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We haven't taken enough responsibility
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What is an entry gate according to Tripp?
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An “entry gate” is the person’s present experience of his situation.
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What do you emphasize if a person seems depressed?
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hope
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What do you emphasize if a person seems to be suffering?
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compassion
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What do you emphasize if a person seems fearful?
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trust
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What do you emphasize if a person seems defensive?
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respect
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What do you emphasize in all cases?
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love
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What are the seven steps to apply these principals in your daily relationships?
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1) Identify the people to whom God calls you to minister and begin to pray for them and for yourself as you move toward them in ministry.
2) Commit yourself, with intentionality, to enter into their world. Be purposeful and proactive. 3) Be physically present with them. Prioritize your ministry commitment and adjust your schedule to allow you to spend sufficient time with them. 4) Look for ways to demonstrate Christ’s love in specific, concrete acts of love 5) Demonstrate the five essential relational ingredients above 6) Learn to ask caring questions, to listen well, and to respond lovingly. 7) Pray for ongoing open doors—gateways—into his world. |
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What are your four goals in ministry step #2?
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1) To understand the person, not merely the problem
2) To respond with Christlike words and actions to this particular person in his specific situation. This includes understanding the ways he is responding to his situation. 3) To assure the person that you understand him, so that he feels and believes this 4) To lead the person to biblical self-understanding |
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To understand the person includes understanding what three things about the person?
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1) Situation (heat & dew)
2) Behavior (words, actions, & emotions) 3) Heart (beliefs & motives) Proverbs 4:23; 20:5 |
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How do you lead the person to biblical self-understanding?
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By asking wise questions, arising from clear biblical thinking, that drive the person to talk about himself in new—biblical—ways! Genesis 3:9, 11; 1 Samuel 15:14; Matthew 7:3
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What are the five general perspectives in interviewing and getting to know the person?
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1) If needed, be sure the person understands your purpose for interviewing him.
2) Beware of making invalid assumptions about the person. 3) Base all your interpretations on sound conclusions gained through careful data gathering. 4) Good data gathering progressively moves from the person’s situation (external) toward the person’s heart (internal). 5) As you progressively move toward the heart, continue to cultivate the Christlike relational ingredients of love, compassion, respect, trust, and hope. |
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You come to every significant relationship with what three assumptions?
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1) Your own personal past experience
2) Your general knowledge based on observation and study of people 3) Your experience of working with other people |
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What is the sequence of motion for good data gathering?
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Situation --> Behavior --> Heart
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How do you get to know someone through questioning?
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1) Closed Questions vs. Open Questions
2) Extensive Questions vs. Intensive Questions |
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What is a closed question?
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It can be answered with a yes or no and require little data disclosure from the person
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What is an open question?
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Cannot be answered without self-disclosure and require the person to select or volunteer the data
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What is an extensive question?
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Asks a little about a lot
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What is an intensive question?
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Asks a lot about a little
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What are the two "do's" in asking questions?
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1) Do let the person’s answer to one question lead you to your next question
2) Do explore heart motives behind actions by asking “why” questions. |
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What are the "don'ts" in asking questions?
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1) Don’t slavishly follow a prepared list of questions.
2) Don't be carried along by your own curiosity. Know when to stop a line of questioning. 3) Don't ask either/or, binary, or menu questions. 4) Don't use questions to cross-examine, corner, or entrap the person, or camouflage your hidden agenda ("doesn't it seem that..."). 5) Don't ask two or more questions at once. 6) Don't settle for non-specific answers |
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In what two ways is God our model and motivator for good listening?
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1) The Godhead members listen to each other (John 8:26; 11:41-42; 14:24; 16:13)
2) The Godhead members listen to us his people (Exod 2:23-25; Isa 59:1; John 11:35; 1 Peter 3:12) |
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What are the two biblical directives for listening?
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1) Listen actively and attentively (Jas 1:19; Prov. 18:2,13,15,17)
2) Listen caringly and compassionately (Exod 2:23-25; John 11:35; Rom 12:15; 1 Cor 12:26; Acts 20:18-19,31) |
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What are the eleven things to pay special attention to?
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1) Requests from the person for help, and why it's needed now
2) Topics that lead the person to clam up or become anxious or upset 3) Religious belief, superstition, magical thinking 4) Evidences of guilt, self-reproach, and bitterness 5) The person’s self-talk, identity statements 6) How the person asks questions: "Don't you think that...?" or "Wouldn't you have…?" 7) How the person answers questions: "Yeah, but..." or "I couldn't do that" 8) The person’s interpretations, beliefs, underlying assumptions 9) Generalities, exaggerations, globalizing, catastrophizing 10) Consistent themes and patterns 11) Metaphors, images, illustrations, word picture |
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What are the three things we shouldn't be afraid to do in our listening?
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1) Don't be afraid to interrupt the conversation for a minute of silent reflection.
2) Don't be afraid to admit a concentration lapse and to ask the person to repeat what he said 3) Don't be afraid to say, "I don’t think I understand" |
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What are the four ways that you validate your understanding of the information?
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1) Define
2) Clarify 3) Explain 4) Confirm |
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What are the five benefits of note taking?
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1) Shows the person you take him and his words seriously
2) Permits you further reflection, later review, future reference 3) Adds seriousness to your assignments 4) Holds the person accountable 5) Helps protect you from false reports |
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What are the six items to record?
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1) Name (or initials) of the person and any others present
2) Date and location of the session 3) Running record of conversation, including key quotes 4) List of topics you need to explore and address 5) Brief summary of the session and suggested direction for next session 6) List of counsel given, homework assigned, and next session date |
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What are the six other methods for gaining information?
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1) Written intake forms
2) Informal chit-chat, greetings, and goodbyes, small talk 3) Contact with those who know the person, with his permission 4) Observing body language and non-verbal data 5) "Real time" data. Observe the person's behavior toward you. 6) Written homework assignments (see below) |
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What is the key principle for organizing and interpreting the data?
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You never counsel based on raw data but on your interpretation of that data. Therefore you must interpret the data accurately, i.e., through the lens of God's Word.
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In Matthew 6:19-24 what or where is this person's treasure (4 points)?
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1) Your treasure is that which you supremely value; the person(s) or thing(s) that you seek to gain, maintain, enjoy, and protect.
2) Everyone lives for some kind of treasure—either God or someone/something else. 3) Your treasure will control your heart. 4) Your heart will control your behavior. |
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Where are you trying to move the person?
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Progressively from external circumstances toward inner man understanding
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What is a summary interpretive question?
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How, and why, is this person responding to this situation in which God has placed him, and what heart and behavioral changes are biblically indicated?
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What is compassion?
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Compassion is that inward, deeply felt emotional response to the plight of a suffering person, coupled with a desire to alleviate that suffering.
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What are the three points about compassion?
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1) Compassion Sees the suffering person
2) Compassion Feels tender pity in response to the suffering 3) Compassion Seeks to alleviate the suffering |
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To what two things are we to respond compassionately?
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1) To the person's situation
2) To the person's sinful fruit and roots |
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What are the eight snapshots of our compassionate Lord?
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1) Toward shepherd-less people (Matt. 9:36
2) Toward people with disabilities (Matt 20:34) 3) Toward diseased people (Mark 1:41) 4) Toward hungry people (Mark 6:34; 8:2) 5) Toward demon-possessed people (Mark 9:22) 6) Toward bereaved people (Luke 7:13) 7) Toward victimized people (Luke 10:33) 8) Toward guilty, lost people (Luke 15:20) |
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What is the key to cultivating compassion?
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Meditating on the forgiveness of Jesus Christ
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What are the three goals in ministry step #3 (Bring him Christ and His answers)?
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To help the person see his fruit and root sins, repent and believe the Gospel, and adopt a new godly life agenda. (Big Arrow, R.B.O. Change)
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What does this involve?
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Lovingly speaking God's truth in Christ to people
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Where are you trying to move the person?
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Progressively from external circumstances toward inner man understanding
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What two reasons explain why we, and those we help, need the ongoing, loving application of biblical truth?
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1) Because of the remaining deceitfulness in our hearts
2) Because we typically function according to our own experiential and "emotional" conclusions, not clear-headed biblical conclusions. |
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What is a summary interpretive question?
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How, and why, is this person responding to this situation in which God has placed him, and what heart and behavioral changes are biblically indicated?
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What is compassion?
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Compassion is that inward, deeply felt emotional response to the plight of a suffering person, coupled with a desire to alleviate that suffering.
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What are the three points about compassion?
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1) Compassion Sees the suffering person
2) Compassion Feels tender pity in response to the suffering 3) Compassion Seeks to alleviate the suffering |
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To what two things are we to respond compassionately?
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1) To the person's situation
2) To the person's sinful fruit and roots |
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What are the eight snapshots of our compassionate Lord?
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1) Toward shepherd-less people (Matt. 9:36
2) Toward people with disabilities (Matt 20:34) 3) Toward diseased people (Mark 1:41) 4) Toward hungry people (Mark 6:34; 8:2) 5) Toward demon-possessed people (Mark 9:22) 6) Toward bereaved people (Luke 7:13) 7) Toward victimized people (Luke 10:33) 8) Toward guilty, lost people (Luke 15:20) |
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What are the three goals in ministry step #3 (Bring him Christ and His answers)?
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To help the person see his fruit and root sins, repent and believe the Gospel, and adopt a new godly life agenda. (Big Arrow, R.B.O. Change)
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What does this involve?
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Lovingly speaking God's truth in Christ to people
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What two reasons explain why we, and those we help, need the ongoing, loving application of biblical truth?
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1) Because of the remaining deceitfulness in our hearts
2) Because we typically function according to our own experiential and "emotional" conclusions, not clear-headed biblical conclusions. They in turn reinforce themselves |
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What are the two methods of bringing Christ's truth?
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1) The Direct Method of the Bible as Our Standard/Comparison/Correction/Remedy
2) The searching questions method |
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What are the two steps involved for uncovering the person's sinful life agenda?
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1) Realize the person has a sinful life agenda that must be uncovered and changed.
2) Make the person aware of his sinful agenda |
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What are the four ways you can see their sinful behavior?
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1) Initial behavior (presenting problem) that brought him to you
2) Expectations of you in meeting with you 3) Behavior while you meet 4) Desire to have situational change more than personal heart change |
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What are the five methods you can use to make a person aware of their sinful agenda?
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[1] Use biblical models and techniques
[2] Play back/summarize the person’s own words, labels, and categories to help him see his agenda implications. [3] Observe and comment on the person's non-verbal behavior as you discuss agenda issues. [4] Ask questions that encourage the person to discuss the agenda implications of his behavior: [5] Summarize your interpretation of the person’s agenda and invite his input |
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What are the four guidelines for calling a person to godly change?
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1) Standard
2) Comparison 3) Correction 4) Remedy |
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What is standard?
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Commitment to God to accept God's authority
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What four steps helps us do standard?
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[1] Acknowledge God's authority to rule life as God pleases.
[2] Acknowledge God's authority to place him in the life situation God chooses. [3] Acknowledge God's authority to define what is right for him to be and do in this situation. [4] Commit to determine what is biblically right to desire, believe, say, and do in this situation |
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What is comparison?
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Commitment to God to accept personal responsibility
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What three steps help us to do comparison?
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[1] Commit to honest self-examination of all areas of his life.
[2] Commit to take responsibility for his sin and confess it without blameshifting. [3] Commit to a careful examination of his heart and behavior in the mirror of God's Word. |
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What is correction?
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Commitment to God to seek needed godly change
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What are the five steps to do correction?
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[1] Identify specific "put-off/put-on" (Eph 4:17-32) changes that must be made in both heart and behavior. What must be forsaken, replaced, begun, redone, or undone?
[2] Commit to setting concrete goals in each area of needed change. [3] Apply the goals to do-able action steps. [4] Prioritize these goals and steps. [5] Commit to establishing new godly habits in these areas. |
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What is remedy?
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Commitment to God to implement specific godly changes
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What are the four steps to do remedy?
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[1] Acknowledge God’s constant presence, power, and provisions to enable him to change and obey.
[2] Begin to implement daily the action steps, depending on God. [3] Commit to deal honestly with temptations and to establish a realistic temptation plan. [4] The person commits to deal honestly with failures and to establish a failure plan in light of the Gospel. |
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What eight steps do you take to implement a new action plan?
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1. Review the R.B.O. "Big Arrow" Change lesson from our Biblical Foundations for Christian Growth lectures and follow its flow of steps.
2. Review the four ingredients from 2 Tim 3:16-17 above: Doctrine/Rebuke/Correction/Training 3. Use the Three Tree Model to think concretely with the person about his situation, his behavior, his heart, and God’s provisions in Christ. 4. Instill in the person a growing grasp of his biblical identity in Christ and its implications for growth. 5. Create concrete lists of needed changes and steps in the person’s situation. 6. Consider ways to mobilize other mature believers who are committed to the biblical counseling process and committed to the person. 7. For further help in instruction, inducement, and implementing biblical change, see Wayne Mack's chapters 12-14 in MacArthur, ed., Counseling: How to Counsel Biblically. 8. Watch for and deal with any remaining or new heart or behavioral sins that may arise in the course of implementing godly change. |
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What are the three reasons for using growth assignments?
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1) They direct the person to Scripture and Bible-based resources so that he can see God and himself biblically and can respond with godly change.
2) They place the responsibility for change on the person not on you. 3) They extend and advance the work done in your session into the person’s daily life. |
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What are the various types of assignments?
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1) Journaling
2) Bible memorization and meditation 3) Bible studies 4) Guided Bible reading 5) Reading assignments 6) Audio and video recordings 7) Meeting with other believers 8) Think cards 9) Stop cards 10) Do lists 11) Write letters |
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What three questions should you ask for evaluating the growth plan and dealing with failure?
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1. Does the failure lie with the plan itself?
2. Does the failure lie with the person? 3. What adjustments are needed in the plan or in the person? |
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What are the seven signs of refusal?
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1) Frequent cancellations without good reasons
2) Failure to complete assignments 3) Distancing himself from you—decrease in self-disclosure, eye contact, etc. 4) Threats, intimidation, manipulation 5) Pessimism, criticism, cynicism 6) Citing opinions of others—dissenting voices, competing counsel, alternate explanations or action plans, etc., from family, friends, media, other counselors, even church leaders. 7) Adding another minister or source of counsel to his life |
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What are the seven ways to confront refusal?
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1) Ask, don't assume or accuse. Prov 18:13
2) Seek to determine and deal with the reasons for refusal. This includes honestly examining any failures on your part. Matt 7:3-5 3) Discuss the consequence of refusal. To God, to yourself, and to others 4) Help the person admit and deal honestly with refusal 5) Renew biblical hope 6) Appeal to outside allies who love the person and are committed to his biblical change. 7) Be sure your goal is to please God by being faithful to his Word, even if the person refuses. |
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What are the five ways to deal with dissenting voices and competing counsel?
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1) Be sure the person understands your counsel and your biblical rationale behind it.
2) Be sure you and the person seek to understand the competing counsel (as best you can without that third party present at this point). 3) Urge the person to commit to biblical change and to evaluate all counsel, including yours, in light of Scripture. Acts 17:11 4) If the competing counsel continues to hinder the person’s progress, encourage him to invite the dissenter to join us for the next session to humbly discuss the issues. 5) Remember that your primary commitment in the ministry relationship is to minister to the person not convert the competitor. |
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What are the six ways to deal with a person who quits or threatens to quit?
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Inform him that:
1) You are willing to continue your commitment to help him; you are not quitting on him. 2) You remain committed to biblical counseling, to help him understand and apply the gospel 3) You are willing to consider his concerns, objections, alternate interpretations, etc. in light of your commitments, or speak with other biblical ministers and counselors. 4) You do not want him to quit and it would sadden you, but if he decides to quit that is his choice not yours. You are not responsible for his choice 5) You are willing to resume biblical ministry if he wants to do so (assuming your schedule permits it at that time). 6) You are not the only means of grace God can use. There are other people that God can use. |
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What are the five questions to ask when assessing to conclude?
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1) What evidence points to change in the person's heart?
2) What evidence points to concrete changes in the person's behavior? 3) Do you have reason to believe the person will continue to apply God's Truth to the areas addressed, and other areas needing change? 4) Is there any place in the person's life where he seems stuck? 5) Is the person demonstrating faith and a willingness to be on his own? |
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What are the six finals steps and plans for follow up?
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1. Schedule one or two follow-up sessions.
2. Extend an "open door" invitation to the person to return anytime. 3. Invite the person to give a verbal or written critique of your ministry. 4. Invite the person to write a 1-2 page testimony of how God has helped him through your personal ministry. Commission the person to minister these same biblical truths to others. 6. Depending on your priorities and schedule, offer to coach him as he ministers to others and/or to have him present should he refer others to you for counseling. |
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What do you do in an informal one-on-one contact before or after congregational gatherings?
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[1] Remind yourself of the Bible's many "one another" commands.
[2] Adopt a ministry agenda as you look prayerfully at various Christian brothers and sisters in your congregation. [3] Ten minute approach |
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What is the ten minute approach?
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1) Begin with a general conversation starter
2) Hear some situational heat 3) Ask further about the situation 4) Begin moving from root to fruit |
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What do you do in a small group ministry?
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[1] The goal of edification must govern your group's agenda and activities
[2] This means we must carefully guard against a host of common, unbiblical traps [3] "Biblically guided self-disclosure" (David Powlison) and personal honesty must mark our conversation and sharing. [4] The success of your small group depends on having a leader(s) and a majority of participants who are committed to the above goal and guidelines. [5] Group leaders must demonstrate godly character and skill (Ps 78:72), and must lead the participants according to God's Word and the biblical dynamics of godly change. |
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What are the three unbiblical traps we must guard against?
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1) Self-focus. Focus on "my story" without providing Christlike help to change
2) Slander. Mounting a case against those who have abused me. 3) Cliques. Factions, divisions, actual or perceived group superiority, etc. |
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What are the two extremes to avoid?
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1) Brazen honesty, gushing all feelings, saying whatever is on our mind, venting carnal impulses
2) Superficial play-acting, concealing all feelings, proudly portraying oneself as "all together," keeping at a "safe" distance from others |
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What are the two things you do in a prayer meeting?
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[1] In giving prayer requests and in your own praying aloud, let your requests and prayers be driven, informed, and framed by biblical wisdom.
[2] In listening to other's prayer requests, seek to draw out heart and behavioral concerns. |
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How do you counsel an unbeliever?
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2. Whether dealing with believers or unbelievers, our ministry approach is essentially the same: Enter his world, understand his need, and bring him Jesus and his answers
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Can we or should we counsel an unbeliever?
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Narrow sense: No, if by counseling an unbeliever we mean calling him to make godly behavioral change apart from Jesus. He must first be evangelized (= “pre-counseled”)
Broad sense: Yes, if by counseling an unbeliever we mean calling him to know and follow Jesus Christ in his specific situation. We bring Jesus to everyone we counsel. |
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What are the four ways you counsel an unbeliever?
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1) Enter his world and begin to understand him and his presenting problem
2) Communicate to him that the only true and lasting solution to any of our problems is found in Jesus Christ, beginning with conversion to Christ 3) Assign homework that includes a focus on Jesus and the Gospel, as well as the presenting problem 4) If he withdraws from counseling, remind him of the Gospel and the consequences of rejecting Jesus |
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What are the two ways to counsel in parenting?
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1. Cultivate an "Enter their world, Understand/feel their need and Bring them Christ" agenda in your parenting.
2. Think of your child (or grandchild or niece/nephew) in terms of his heart, not merely his behavior or situation. |
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What are the two ways you counsel in formal counseling?
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1. Formal biblical counseling should be viewed ideally as a ministry of God’s church, under the oversight of the church elders.
2. Men: Consider the possibility that God might be calling you to be a pastor/elder. |
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What two things should we know for men counseling women or women counseling men?
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1) • Same-gender counseling seems biblically wise (Titus 2:3-5), and offers many practical advantages, especially in long-term counseling.
2) • The exception to this is the shepherding authority and responsibility given to elders/pastors who can and should be able to counsel men and women (1 Tim 3:2; Heb 13:7, 17; cf. John 4). Biblical pastors pastor all of their sheep—both male and female—and biblical pastoring includes biblical counseling. |
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What are the ten priorities and cautions pastors should observe when counseling women?
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1) Do not solo counsel a woman alone, but have a woman with you as assistant/trainee/observer.
2) If crisis circumstances do not allow this, consider meeting briefly, with your door ajar so that you are visible to others in the building, or perhaps on the church porch steps (or in the auditorium after the service, or by phone), and make it part of your brief meeting to discuss setting up the above counseling scenario. 3) Do not touch a female counselee, beyond proper handshake greetings. 4) If you are married or dating/courting, speak highly of your wife and children (although not insensitively if she is having major marital problems). 5) If your woman co-counselor/assistant/trainee is not your wife, observe similar precautions in arriving early to prepare or lingering after the session to debrief. 6) Be sure to look at a female counselee in the eyes, and not below her face. 7) Train your assistant to notice if a female counselee is immodestly dressed and instruct her in advance to follow-up with the counselee after the session if possible. 8) Be conscious of the effect you might have as a caring man who will listen to her. 9) Be careful not to compliment her about her appearance. 10) Keep before you the Titus 2 ideal and re-commit to training women counselors/mentors, and seek to transition current women counselees to the care of skilled women if possible. |
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Can we or should we counsel an unbeliever?
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Narrow sense: No, if by counseling an unbeliever we mean calling him to make godly behavioral change apart from Jesus. He must first be evangelized (= “pre-counseled”)
Broad sense: Yes, if by counseling an unbeliever we mean calling him to know and follow Jesus Christ in his specific situation. We bring Jesus to everyone we counsel. |
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What are the four ways you counsel an unbeliever?
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1) Enter his world and begin to understand him and his presenting problem
2) Communicate to him that the only true and lasting solution to any of our problems is found in Jesus Christ, beginning with conversion to Christ 3) Assign homework that includes a focus on Jesus and the Gospel, as well as the presenting problem 4) If he withdraws from counseling, remind him of the Gospel and the consequences of rejecting Jesus |
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What are the two ways to counsel in parenting?
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1. Cultivate an "Enter their world, Understand/feel their need and Bring them Christ" agenda in your parenting.
2. Think of your child (or grandchild or niece/nephew) in terms of his heart, not merely his behavior or situation. |
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What are the two ways you counsel in formal counseling?
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1. Formal biblical counseling should be viewed ideally as a ministry of God’s church, under the oversight of the church elders.
2. Men: Consider the possibility that God might be calling you to be a pastor/elder. |
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What two things should we know for men counseling women or women counseling men?
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1) • Same-gender counseling seems biblically wise (Titus 2:3-5), and offers many practical advantages, especially in long-term counseling.
2) • The exception to this is the shepherding authority and responsibility given to elders/pastors who can and should be able to counsel men and women (1 Tim 3:2; Heb 13:7, 17; cf. John 4). Biblical pastors pastor all of their sheep—both male and female—and biblical pastoring includes biblical counseling. |
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What are the ten priorities and cautions pastors should observe when counseling women?
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1) Do not solo counsel a woman alone, but have a woman with you as assistant/trainee/observer.
2) If crisis circumstances do not allow this, consider meeting briefly, with your door ajar so that you are visible to others in the building, or perhaps on the church porch steps (or in the auditorium after the service, or by phone), and make it part of your brief meeting to discuss setting up the above counseling scenario. 3) Do not touch a female counselee, beyond proper handshake greetings. 4) If you are married or dating/courting, speak highly of your wife and children (although not insensitively if she is having major marital problems). 5) If your woman co-counselor/assistant/trainee is not your wife, observe similar precautions in arriving early to prepare or lingering after the session to debrief. 6) Be sure to look at a female counselee in the eyes, and not below her face. 7) Train your assistant to notice if a female counselee is immodestly dressed and instruct her in advance to follow-up with the counselee after the session if possible. 8) Be conscious of the effect you might have as a caring man who will listen to her. 9) Be careful not to compliment her about her appearance. 10) Keep before you the Titus 2 ideal and re-commit to training women counselors/mentors, and seek to transition current women counselees to the care of skilled women if possible. |
