What My Parents Want Me To Be When I Grow Up Essay

886 Words 4 Pages
I've heard a lot of stories from my friends about being pressured into lifestyles not of their choosing. In some cases their parents want their offspring to carry on a family tradition, like being a lawyer or a musician. Other friends are expected to exceed their heritage by becoming doctors or CEOs. To all of those people who either sympathise with these young adults or who are in fact among their number, I laugh at your petty concerns. You don't know what pressure is, until you have suffered from the tremendous burden of expectations that golfing parents inflict on their sons and daughters.

Yes, yes, I know there are cases of children happily following in the footsteps of their club wielding progenitors. However, in every one of
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Yes, they are meaningless collections of numbers, strange terms and even stranger people, but they can't go on forever, right? Well that is true, unless your entire family tells them, all the time! And what about the endless golfing jokes, invariably involving Jesus, Moses and an assortment of holes, sand bunkers and water traps. It is some measure of these people's delusion, that they actually believe religious icons such as Jesus and Moses would waste their time in Heaven playing this obscene Scottish game.

 

Now some of you youngsters may think that you understand what I am talking about. In fact you may believe that since you have survived this long without losing all of your sanity, (or golf balls), then you have a fair chance of making it till your parents have found better links in the afterlife. Well forget it. You have only just started on the journey to damnation. The worst of it doesn't arrive until you actually understand what their golfing terms mean.

 

At first I thought that playing a few rounds would placate my folks. The constant pressure of their tournament postmortems was getting to me. Most of my friends' Mothers were asking them when a marriage or grandchildren could be expected. Not mine. My dear old Ma would sweetly inquire when I would be getting a membership at the local course. So you can see how I could be tempted to do anything to relieve the pressure. Maybe a few games would reassure them.

 

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