Resolving Personal Conflicts Through Assertive Communication
“Conflict is a problematic situation that occurs between interdependent people who seek different goals or means to those goals (Cahn & Abigail, 2014).” Perceived differences can affect the relationship adversely if not addressed and is one of the characteristics of conflict. A sense of urgency about the need to resolve the differences are is another characteristics of conflict. While conflict occurs in many places – the workplace, between friends, parents and children, etc., one of the most difficult areas for conflict to occur is in a romantic relationship. Not resolving the conflict can cause resentment and a dampening of the feelings towards one another, and the urgency to resolve the differences is palpable.
I …show more content…
To analyze the conflict, the prelude to the conflict was a mixture of our living in close quarters, attempting to have a relationship with each other, and Rob’s pre-conceived opinions about women. The trigger event was the first time he showed me to the door when I disagreed with him about something. The initiation phase was when I didn’t exit the door, but tried to get to the root of his comment. The differentiation phase was when I attempted to start a dialogue about his statement, attempting to be empathetic and constructive, while he continued to escalate the conflict by using destructive strategies such as intimidation, accusations and threats. There was never a resolution phase. The differentiation phase seemed to go on forever. For almost five years.
After meeting his ex-wives and having conversations with them, I realized that there was a serious issue with our conflicts that probably would not be possible to resolve. His attitude with his former wives had been the same: If you didn’t like what he did, then you knew where the door was. Both related to me that he