My First Experience With Death Essay

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My first experience with death occurred when I was around the age of 6. My grandfather on my dad’s side had been diagnosed with lung cancer. I did not know him, he was in India and I had only seen him through pictures my mom had shown me. At that time, I felt nothing, how could I be upset over someone I barely knew? I remember my parents sitting at the table talking about his deteriorating condition. My dad decided to visit India for a month to be with him during his last days. I felt angry, very angry. My dad would be leaving me for a whole month because of that old guy? I mean he brought the lung cancer upon himself maybe he shouldn’t have …show more content…
I do not remember how long this lasted, maybe a few hours. As my mom cried I felt guilty for not crying, she probably thought I was such a mean person for not crying over my dead grandpa. But I could not cry, I felt nothing. I also felt guilty because I thought my anger towards him was why he died. Perhaps if I had been kind towards him he would still be alive. When I look back on this experience today I do not feel guilty for not grieving after the death of my grandpa. I understand that my age and lack of contact with him prevented me from feeling a loss. In a way it was good because I did not have to go through that loss at such a young age. My guilt was normal for me to feel then, but now I know that my mom did not think I was a mean person for not crying. She understood my feelings and knew that I did not feel anything because I merely did not know him. When I was around the age of 7, I had very little comprehension about my religion. I knew I was a Hindu, but I lacked understanding of what it meant. On a summer evening, I was playing on the front lawn with my mom, while she went inside for a few minutes a butterfly came and landed near me. I do not know why but I decided to step on it and kill it. Maybe it was because I could never catch one alive or maybe it was because of my curiosity. My mom came outside and holding the dead butterfly in my hands I ran up to her to show her what I had caught. I still remember the look of disappointment on her

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