Masculinity In Being A Man By Paul Theroux

In the essay “Being a Man” the author, Paul Theroux, describes his negative feelings toward American society 's expectations of manhood. He talks about his own experience as a man and also gives examples of masculinity in media. Theroux argues throughout the essay that the expectations of manliness is harmful and oppressive to men. He tells the reader that from a young age boys are forced into an ideal of manhood and that follows them throughout their lives. He finally claims that men are hesitant to embrace feminism because they believe that their lives are just as bad (cite). As a transgender boy in America I have experienced many of the same struggles that Theroux says that cisgender* men do. “Being a Man” correctly argues that masculinity, …show more content…
In the section of the essay from which this quote was made, Theroux rightly explains that in American culture, men cannot live up to the ideals of manhood which are placed upon them while indulging in any activity that is outside of the traditional activities of men. He describes his inner struggle to accept his own desire to become a writer. In his mind, “being a writer was incompatible with being a man” (cite). I also spent years denying myself of my true passions and identity because they did not fall within the strict gender roles society teaches. I told myself for so long that I could not be transgender and could not be a boy because I enjoy cooking and crocheting and I do not like wearing suits and ties. I still have to remind myself on a daily basis that my feminine activities do not make me any less of a man. Ultimately, American manhood consists only of activities deemed appropriate and manly. This idea leaves all types of men in a n uncomfortable position when faced with enjoyment of any activities outside of those which fall under the label of …show more content…
I saw this growing up as the boys in class talked over me and looked down upon me because they perceived me to be a girl and therefore below them. Friendship between girls and boys was rare and I was only let into the “boy’s club” upon being perceived as one myself. Today, I often find myself seeking the company of other boys subconsciously, as a way to declare my own status as a boy despite the fact that I actively prefer the friendship of girls to that of boys. The author also claims to have observed similar findings to my own when reflecting on relations between men and women. Theroux justly asserts that men are harmed by American ideals of masculinity just as women are. He says that they are harmful to both discussed sexes because it denies men the natural friendship of women and at the same time belittles women (cite). He ends his essay saying , “And this is also why men often object to feminism but are afraid to explain why: of course women have a justified grievance, but most men believe—and with