Dave was howling like ‘An American Werewolf In London’. Although 35
years old and having just left the army, Dave was receiving his first
tattoo. It was a half-peeled, silver-skinned, rip banana on his left
ankle. He did not particularly want a banana on his ankle as his
friends would probably suspect that he was a bit fruity, but the fact
of the matter was he did not have a lot of choice. ‘Tantalising
Tony’s Tiny Tattoo Clinic’ was the only place around that would work
for £5-95 per tattoo. The only pictures available were designed by
Tony’s seven-year-old dyslexic daughter.
“OK Dave,” said Tony, “all finished!”
Dave looked …show more content…
was, he though nothing of it and made his way down the street. Not
that it matters, but for anyone with an eye for detail, the street was
called “Toggins Street” and it consisted of a mixture of terraced
houses and a few small businesses.
“Hello Dave!” Shouted Mr Dover, his hairdresser.
“Hello Ben !” Replied Dave. Mr Dover had been Dave’s hairdresser for
the past three years, during which time he had received a lot of
taunting regarding his name.
Dave popped into the bakery for a corned beef pasty and two doughnuts
with multi-coloured sprinkly things on them. For the record, the
sprinkles looked like cat puke but tasted scrumpdiddlyumptious. He
was very cautious when purchasing the pasty because he did not want to
get mad cow disease. After twenty-three minutes of careful studying
to see if he could tell which ones had BSE, he got extremely bored and
let the woman behind the counter choose. Dave continued on his
journey home and passed several different kinds of plants including
two Bryonys and an aspidistra - often known as the iron plant as it
can survive in many conditions.
Upon arriving at his home, Dave was shocked to hear the very
disturbing news that the lift was out of order. Dave considered the
words ‘Out Of Order’ to be the most disgusting phrase in…