Dave Essay

1671 Words 7 Pages
Dave Dave was howling like ‘An American Werewolf In London’. Although 35 years old and having just left the army, Dave was receiving his first tattoo. It was a half-peeled, silver-skinned, rip banana on his left ankle. He did not particularly want a banana on his ankle as his friends would probably suspect that he was a bit fruity, but the fact of the matter was he did not have a lot of choice. ‘Tantalising Tony’s Tiny Tattoo Clinic’ was the only place around that would work for £5-95 per tattoo. The only pictures available were designed by Tony’s seven-year-old dyslexic daughter.

“OK Dave,” said Tony, “all finished!”

Dave looked
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Being the thoughtful person he was, he though nothing of it and made his way down the street. Not that it matters, but for anyone with an eye for detail, the street was called “Toggins Street” and it consisted of a mixture of terraced houses and a few small businesses.

“Hello Dave!” Shouted Mr Dover, his hairdresser.

“Hello Ben !” Replied Dave. Mr Dover had been Dave’s hairdresser for the past three years, during which time he had received a lot of taunting regarding his name.

Dave popped into the bakery for a corned beef pasty and two doughnuts with multi-coloured sprinkly things on them. For the record, the sprinkles looked like cat puke but tasted scrumpdiddlyumptious. He was very cautious when purchasing the pasty because he did not want to get mad cow disease. After twenty-three minutes of careful studying to see if he could tell which ones had BSE, he got extremely bored and let the woman behind the counter choose. Dave continued on his journey home and passed several different kinds of plants including two Bryonys and an aspidistra - often known as the iron plant as it can survive in many conditions.

Upon arriving at his home, Dave was shocked to hear the very disturbing news that the lift was out of order. Dave considered the words ‘Out Of Order’ to be the most disgusting phrase in

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