The Importance Of Belonging

Decent Essays
Belonging is what gives you a sense of permanency, helps to establish your core values and contributes to the development of your identity within your family and the world. The initial sense of belonging that humans experience is commonly through their immediate family, also known as the nuclear family. Human were designed to grow healthy physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally, through loving care and acceptance in a safe environment. Mother’s teach us about bonding, trust, attachment and the ability to give and receive affection. Father’s provide discipline and mentoring that helps us to identify our gifts and talents typically through encouraging risk taking to discover potential (Dye, 2012) If during early childhood you do not …show more content…
As you know I am generation French-American, born and raised in New York City in a middle class neighborhood, attending catholic school from kindergarten through to High School. Those are the fact, however the details are that while I was raised by both parents there was dysfunction within the family unit. Which translated into a lack of belonging and identity for countless years. I knew what it was to be French and what it was to be an American, I knew what the expected behavior was, I even knew what the core values were, however the house was tyrannical run by a father who was never there. For this reason I never gained a sense of belonging. Independence training within my house nuclear family was contradictory at best, I needed to be self-reliant and achieve, however at the same time be submissive and obedient to a father I did not know. And the modal personality of the house was “do as I say not as I do” and “do not let anyone outside the house know what is happening within the house, those are secrets”. The core value I learned was “be true to who you are but be who I tell you to be,” “work hard but only how and when I want you …show more content…
And during this process I would eventually find myself in the lowest social class, with nowhere to go. Today after years of trial and error in trying to find belonging, I found it along with a sense of permanency, direction and goals. And I found that through an amazing church that accepted everyone “As Is” and provided what some parents never could, a safe loving family type atmosphere with a patriarchal authority figure. The Pastor, as the patriarch, helps to identify each member’s unique giftedness and provides the congregation with opportunities to explore those gifts and develop both as a human and as part of society. Mihaina also grew up in a dysfunctional family, however she always had a sense of belonging to her people. The island life that she lived offered her an extended family that loved and supported her through the rough times of her parent’s divorce. And her people encourage her through the independence training and

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