Essay on A Most Unusual Friendship

2964 Words May 28th, 2015 12 Pages
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Essay Sample: Page 2
I have to take responsibility for the vast majority of the trials and tribulations that would take place in that time. I went back and forth and attempted to revive the relationship I should have left completely alone. I would later bear the weight of guilt and shame of selfishly using what has now become more a dead horse than a relationship, every time I became scared and insecure. I became lonely and was not yet consciously aware of how little love had for myself. This took the form of me looking for love outside of myself. I also sought validation from the approval and acceptance of a man. I called it “dating.” It was a complete disaster. I wasted a great deal of time and energy and resources looking for someone to love me. I wanted so desperately to fill the empty in me. Eventually I was left no other alternative than to finally let go once and for all of the past that no longer was and cut ties with my ex entirely. I also could no longer ignore the ridiculous behavior in my pursuit of love and a man. I had turned dating into self-destructive and dangerous behavior. I had turned to drinking to cope. I spent the vast majority of my time closed off from the family and rest of the world in my room. It sounds bleak I know. It also was not as neat as I am able to summate here. It however would be the beginning of a long hard, chaotic, road out of denial and an unconscious fog. It would make stops at one more failed attempt to return to Arizona, a nervous
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