Wormhole Leak is a proposed sci-fi action-adventure pilot that begins with an interesting premise. The teaser effectively establishes the world - a secret world with alien technology hiding in plain sight of our present day world.
The thesis of the entire series is clear - Dan and Caspar, presumably with the help from Lewis and Catalina, will spend each episode hunting down some lost piece of alien technology. The series poses the moral question about the use of technology and the consequences of advanced technology, especially when it falls into the wrong hands.
The “A story” goal of the pilot is also easy to follow - Caspar is being inducted into this world and must solve his first case as Dan serves as a mentor of sorts. The stakes are …show more content…
The most notable challenge off the bat is a lack in clarity in the tone. At times, it was difficult to determine if it was more of a high stakes drama/action story that takes itself serious, or a more lighthearted comedic venture.
While comedy can be infused into a drama, as is, the jokes stand out as a mismatch in tone rather than being seamless inclusions. It might serve the script to lean in harder in either direction - more drama or more comedy, but make it clear how the audience is expected to view the …show more content…
He has a passion and professional goal that he wants to follow and one can feel his disappointed with being rejected. He needs to be a bit more resistant to Dan, but Dan offers him an exciting and intriguing world in which he has some redemption for his rejection. He’s doing something that has purpose. Make sure this is highlighted. However, Caspar, like Dan and some of the other characters feels immature. This is mainly due to the way they speak and reaction to events. The personalities will depend on the story type and tone.
The “Men in Blue” are generic (no real personality) so they are not distinctive enough versus a developed, relentless government person who pursues Caspar and Dan.
Overall, try to make each character more distinctive and unique.
If the intention is for a more serious sci-fi serious, then elevate the personalities of each character to make them more mature and serious, blended with wit. If the intention is a light-hearted series, then the humor will need further development. Humor/comedy is very subjected, but the best for this type of series will involve visual and physical comedy, as well as some strong and witty one-liners.
The other element that is extremely important to any series is the buddy relationship and chemistry between characters.
To makes this series more successful, the buddy chemistry between Dan and Caspar will need to be enhanced (witty
The thesis of the entire series is clear - Dan and Caspar, presumably with the help from Lewis and Catalina, will spend each episode hunting down some lost piece of alien technology. The series poses the moral question about the use of technology and the consequences of advanced technology, especially when it falls into the wrong hands.
The “A story” goal of the pilot is also easy to follow - Caspar is being inducted into this world and must solve his first case as Dan serves as a mentor of sorts. The stakes are …show more content…
The most notable challenge off the bat is a lack in clarity in the tone. At times, it was difficult to determine if it was more of a high stakes drama/action story that takes itself serious, or a more lighthearted comedic venture.
While comedy can be infused into a drama, as is, the jokes stand out as a mismatch in tone rather than being seamless inclusions. It might serve the script to lean in harder in either direction - more drama or more comedy, but make it clear how the audience is expected to view the …show more content…
He has a passion and professional goal that he wants to follow and one can feel his disappointed with being rejected. He needs to be a bit more resistant to Dan, but Dan offers him an exciting and intriguing world in which he has some redemption for his rejection. He’s doing something that has purpose. Make sure this is highlighted. However, Caspar, like Dan and some of the other characters feels immature. This is mainly due to the way they speak and reaction to events. The personalities will depend on the story type and tone.
The “Men in Blue” are generic (no real personality) so they are not distinctive enough versus a developed, relentless government person who pursues Caspar and Dan.
Overall, try to make each character more distinctive and unique.
If the intention is for a more serious sci-fi serious, then elevate the personalities of each character to make them more mature and serious, blended with wit. If the intention is a light-hearted series, then the humor will need further development. Humor/comedy is very subjected, but the best for this type of series will involve visual and physical comedy, as well as some strong and witty one-liners.
The other element that is extremely important to any series is the buddy relationship and chemistry between characters.
To makes this series more successful, the buddy chemistry between Dan and Caspar will need to be enhanced (witty