I noticed how distant my relationship with God was and blamed this situation on my ex relationship. I reassured myself by saying my relationship with my ex has ended and the source of my sexual temptations was gone therefore I can re-focus my attention to my Christian lifestyle. I tried to radically stop my sexual temptation by removing all my sex toys, blocking sexual websites and constantly surround myself with other Christians. The sudden removal of all sexual interest did not help me control my desires instead it caused me to masturbate and indulge in my own fantasies in other ways then using toys or sexual websites. However, I still tried to repress my sexual desires, which manifested into my behaviour to become more agitated to other fellow Christian members. Whenever I heard rumours that a sister or brother in Christ is sexually active, I would immediately feel repulsed by the information because they knew better than doing such a sin. I would even take it upon myself to confront them and ask if the rumours are true and advise them to change their behaviours. I knew it was never in my position to enter into someone else’s business, but the uncomfortable feeling that I felt with myself trying to repress any existence of sexual desires transformed my behaviour to be hast and angry towards couples who engaged in sex before marriage. By denying that I had any sexual urges, I created my own defensive behaviour by being more authoritative to
I noticed how distant my relationship with God was and blamed this situation on my ex relationship. I reassured myself by saying my relationship with my ex has ended and the source of my sexual temptations was gone therefore I can re-focus my attention to my Christian lifestyle. I tried to radically stop my sexual temptation by removing all my sex toys, blocking sexual websites and constantly surround myself with other Christians. The sudden removal of all sexual interest did not help me control my desires instead it caused me to masturbate and indulge in my own fantasies in other ways then using toys or sexual websites. However, I still tried to repress my sexual desires, which manifested into my behaviour to become more agitated to other fellow Christian members. Whenever I heard rumours that a sister or brother in Christ is sexually active, I would immediately feel repulsed by the information because they knew better than doing such a sin. I would even take it upon myself to confront them and ask if the rumours are true and advise them to change their behaviours. I knew it was never in my position to enter into someone else’s business, but the uncomfortable feeling that I felt with myself trying to repress any existence of sexual desires transformed my behaviour to be hast and angry towards couples who engaged in sex before marriage. By denying that I had any sexual urges, I created my own defensive behaviour by being more authoritative to