Why I Want To Die

“So how are you going to fix the problem?” The question hung in the air, catching me off guard as I struggled for something plausible to say. But try as I might, I could not find the right words. It almost sounded like a statement, part accusation and part question, or perhaps it was just my imagination borne out of guilt. Of all the things a physician has to do, none requires as much gut wrenching honesty and courage as facing the loved one of a patient who has just died and trying to explain what happened, particularly when the patient should not have died and you know it. The man sitting across from me had something in his eyes I had seen many times before: a mixture of anger and shock mixed with grief and disbelief. Or maybe it was a composite …show more content…
I am on a journey of sorts, seeking excellence in a healthcare system that seems uncomfortable with the notion of excellence as perhaps (impossibly) demanding perfection, and one that has operated under a different set of rules for a very long time, resulting too often in unacceptably poor quality of care and bad outcomes. During my 6 years of medical school and 3 years of residency, at no time was I taught how to ensure high quality and good outcomes for patients; it was simply assumed. I was told to study hard, have high integrity, be competent and compassionate and act in the best interest of my patients. I believe I have done all that and have become, to all intents and purposes, the exact product my training desired. So how does a good physician like me end up losing a patient through an avoidable error despite my good training and best …show more content…
Whereas there is disagreement on the methodology and accuracy of the research, it is nonetheless a truly shocking statistic even if only half true. That is still about the equivalent of a Boeing 777 jet crashing every day and killing everyone on board. Would we tolerate that kind of unacceptable outcome without collective outrage and demand that the airline industry immediately find solutions to the problem? So how is it that the healthcare industry with all the technological and scientific advances of modern medicine is not similarly held accountable when such a large number of avoidable deaths (not counting nonfatal injury and harm) occur repetitively in hospitals which are supposed to be the place of healing, safety and recovery? W. Edwards Deming is often quoted to have said “every system is perfectly designed to get the results it gets”. It seems to me we have created a system that does not produce desirable results because it has largely focused on quantity rather than quality or safety and a specified desired outcome. We have not, generally, as an industry agreed on what our desired outcomes are or how to reliably measure it such that we can consistently recognize it when we see it. I have come to firmly believe that the solution lies in