Why I Shouldn 't Be Me Essay

1134 Words Apr 26th, 2016 5 Pages
Josh:

Let me start by saying this, as much as I want to hate you, I don’t. I’ve cried and got angry at myself for putting my trust in someone who viewed me as just another- I am not just another girl to some guy. For some odd reason you are something I find fascination in; you’re kind of like a drug. I know I shouldn’t be around you, but the addiction slowly pulls me in.

You came into my life right after my first heartache and maybe that is why I look at you the way I do; you were my fresh air when I was drowning. Thank you for showing me that I wouldn’t forever experience a broken heart, that it was acceptable to let down my guard, that I was allowed to trust again. I know during that time I couldn’t have been easy to get along with but from all the memories we have together, the way you treated me and comforted me during that time will always be one of my favorites.

I have had this ounce of hope you truly are the guy I talked to, the one who sent sweet Goodnight messages even after I was long asleep, the one who opened the car door for me, defended me after my “friends” and I fought over me being with you. I believed in that man, I prayed for that man, I had hoped for that man. I was willing to fight and defend you for so long. Unfortunately, doing that comes with consequence, and sometimes the person we are defending is just an illusion created in our mind by the idea of who we hope they would be.

Since the time you messaged me ‘Hey cutie ;)’ I was…

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