Essay on Why I Don 't Screw It Up

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I grabbed a fistful of my hair in one hand, raise my sword behind my back and chopped off most of my hair, leaving it to fall just before my shoulders. I wore a simple short black dress that revealed a little of my back, with black shorts under it and small black and red boots. A red sword belt was tied around my waist. Strapped to the belt were two swords, my Fuyuki and also Kamito’s sword, which has no name.
“You understand what you have to do, right? The others also had to go through something similar to test their resolve. Isuzu understands the reason you took your anger out at him was because that person was important to you. That’s why he’s giving you this chance. Don’t screw it up.”
I glanced at Zen, who stood at the entrance of my room as I made my preparations. Two weeks has passed since that incident and I decided it was time for me to move on. My first step is to officially become a member of Cocytus. When I told Zen about this, his reaction was something I hadn’t expected. He was reluctant at first, even though he was the one who first invited me. But when he saw the look in my eyes, he sighed in resignation and talked with Isuzu about it.
“The way you’re talking…you still don’t like the idea of me joining?” He didn’t say anything and avoided looking at me. Was he feeling guilty in dragging me into this? Somehow, I had started to understand the way Zen thinks. Now that I lost someone again, he believes that I no longer care about anything and will end up doing…

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