High School Essay Analysis

Created by the Devil himself is the high school essay. With limited time and a set page number that must be reached, essays are the bane of my existence. “But essays are fun!” people say. Well, people are wrong. Essays are exhausting and emotional torture-devices that drain me of my energy and capacity for joy. However, in a high school environment, they are necessary for gaining the skillset to be an adult with writing skills and experience with deadlines. When I hear mention of an essay looming on the horizon, I become a beacon of ideas full of brilliance and witty humor which all but abandon me as I leave the room, forgetting the assignment in its entirety. When I remember it, I procrastinate (obviously) and eventually panic to plan, compose, …show more content…
Clearly at this point I have remembered the essay and am now avoiding it at all costs. During this step, I experience denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. First I deny the existence of the essay in an attempt to return to my step one bliss of having more time to write. Then it is followed by anger; anger at myself for procrastinating, anger at my teacher for assigning this essay, and anger at my computer because there is a 90 percent chance it is not going to cooperate anyways. To motivate myself, I attempt to bargain. “If I start my essay, I can go get some food.” And “One sentence is one minute of internet time!” Typically this does not end well and leads to more procrastination which sends me spiraling into procrastinated-essay depression. I begin to covet dark spaces while I sit in sadness, wondering about the purpose of writing my essay because no one really cares about it and chances are, my teacher thinks it is one of the worst things they have ever read. After an hour or so of having an existential crisis due to an essay, I accept that avoiding it is impossible and I really should start if I want to maintain a good grade and my