I set in the waiting room, bags in my lap, my mother to my left and an empty car seat on my right. The room is small and dull. The walls are painted a pale tan color and the only sound is coming from Rachel Ray cooking a “5 minute meal” on the television. “Why does Tripler choose to play Food Network for a bunch of pregnant women?” I wonder. Rachel just reminds me how hungry I am, even though I just finished a hearty breakfast. Maybe it’s just the nerves.
I’m so excited, so nervous. My mom says something to me, but I’m not listening. I’m too lost in my own thoughts, so all I hear is “Wha Wha Wha” like the parents in a Peanuts cartoon. To be polite, I smile at her and nod. That seems …show more content…
I’m not at all surprised. He will be late to his own funeral. I don’t want him to be here, but it’s his baby too. I try to put on a smile and be lighthearted, but my nurse can tell that he makes me sad. My nurse, Heather, who I meet four times before finally remembering her, makes my to-be-ex get involved in the birth. She makes him help me walk, and rub my back when I have a contraction. Heather is a tall and fairly large woman with a very domineering personality. Her seemingly hateful aggression toward him brings a dark tinge of happiness to my soul. I love her.
May 8, 2014.
I spend 16 hours in labor. I walk laps around the Labor and Delivery unit to combat the gut wrenchingly painful contractions. They give me pain medication that makes me drowsy. I fall in and out of consciousness for what must be hours, because when I finally come to, it’s dark outside. Once I’m awake the anesthesiologist gives me my epidural. It quickly sets in and it’s time to push.
I push with all I have, but everyone keeps telling to push harder. I can’t feel anything below my bellybutton, so I can’t tell how hard I’m actually pushing. The nurse sets up a mirror so that I can see what’s happening. Somehow this mirror gives me motivation. I push hard. I see a head. Push again and there are arms. I push with everything I have left. It’s not much, but it’s enough because within minutes he is