The Old Nurse's Story

1275 Words 6 Pages
Workshop notes/comments
• To fix things like run on sentences and minor grammatical errors
• The original use of the narrator was confusing.
• The last line brought the tension down → better if it remained high.
• The last line was not clear, and needed a little context.
• Originally the room remained open, but that didn’t seem like a natural response.
• Why does the ghost turns on the little girl?
• The transition in the beginning introduction to the main story, is too abrupt.
• Notes about formatting
Scenes Cards
A one-line description of what happens in the scene.
Sister moves in to help and finds tapes
A breakdown of each character and what they want in the scene.
Both sisters want to unpack
The emotional transition of each character
…show more content…
I did things like creating a narrator (because it also made the story seem more true), and I made the events startling but not gruesome. I tried to play with ideas of the senses and who can hear what etc. I was thinking a little of “The Old Nurses Story” By Elizabeth Gaskell, when I wrote it.
My favourite line is when Sarah says the little girl hit her. As previously stated my friend originally gave me the idea for the story. The only line I took from the story was this line. The line itself made me feel unsettled when I heard it.
The most difficult thing was creating tension. I struggled with this and working within the ghost story genre. I have never written a ghost story before so it was a challenge.
From previous workshops and classes, I learnt I needed to add little details about the characters and create a more concrete story arc. I wanted the beginning, middle and end to seem clear.
After finishing my story I want my reader to feel a little unsettled.
My biggest problem was trying to steadily build tension. I didn’t know what felt scary to other people, so I had to guess.
I overcame this problem by using myself as a kind of measuring stick. I tried to figure out what made me feel unsettled and go from

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