Drawing the Line: Why Caregivers Should Set Boundaries
We all know it’s difficult to say “no” to a needy neighbor or a nagging friend. Turning down a request from your parent or spouse you’re caring for is nearly impossible. Without strong boundaries, however, caregiving can become overwhelming.
According to Anne Fabiny, medical editor for Caregiver’s Handbook, a Special Health Report from Harvard Medical School, “It’s easy to be consumed by caregiving and the person you’re caring for. That’s dangerous for everybody because if you go down, your spouse, your parent, your grandmother goes down, too.”
In other words, being a good caregiver means you need to take equally good care of yourself. That means learning to set healthy boundaries.
Here’s how: …show more content…
Caregiving is a transactional relationship. Just because your parent or spouse is asking something from you doesn’t mean it’s reasonable. You not only have the right to say it’s too much but for your caregiving situation to go well, you must decide what makes sense for you and what you can reasonably do.
Think of it as a negotiation. Your needs are equally important. The person who’s receiving your care depends on you. Your well-being isn’t incidental. It’s central. Let your loved one know you have other pressures and responsibilities in your life. Be as clear as possible about how much time and energy you have. Let them know when you’ve reached your limit. There’s no better recipe for resentment and frustration—for both parties—than agreeing to do more than you really
We all know it’s difficult to say “no” to a needy neighbor or a nagging friend. Turning down a request from your parent or spouse you’re caring for is nearly impossible. Without strong boundaries, however, caregiving can become overwhelming.
According to Anne Fabiny, medical editor for Caregiver’s Handbook, a Special Health Report from Harvard Medical School, “It’s easy to be consumed by caregiving and the person you’re caring for. That’s dangerous for everybody because if you go down, your spouse, your parent, your grandmother goes down, too.”
In other words, being a good caregiver means you need to take equally good care of yourself. That means learning to set healthy boundaries.
Here’s how: …show more content…
Caregiving is a transactional relationship. Just because your parent or spouse is asking something from you doesn’t mean it’s reasonable. You not only have the right to say it’s too much but for your caregiving situation to go well, you must decide what makes sense for you and what you can reasonably do.
Think of it as a negotiation. Your needs are equally important. The person who’s receiving your care depends on you. Your well-being isn’t incidental. It’s central. Let your loved one know you have other pressures and responsibilities in your life. Be as clear as possible about how much time and energy you have. Let them know when you’ve reached your limit. There’s no better recipe for resentment and frustration—for both parties—than agreeing to do more than you really