PASSWORD is an intriguing contained thriller. The script utilizes some of the techniques that make for a compelling thriller, such as a contained setting, isolation, cut off from communication, and the threat of harm or death.
There’s a three-act structure. The opening sets up the idea of a home invasion. However, the opening with the police scanner is distracting and confusing. It’s unclear exactly what’s happening and it becomes diverting. Focus the opening more on Ray watching the house and Gracie and Eric. Hence, consider cutting the scanner, or trim it, and/or clarify the events (how is the cop killing related to the plot).
The invasion is the inciting event that drives the plot forward. The second act is goal focused on opening the …show more content…
It doesn’t feel believable. Perhaps the intention is to show irony that after all of this, they now give some of the bonds up, but for the audience, it’s not convincing.
The other major concern about the script is the lack of emotionally identifying with any of the characters. It’s not clear who the protagonist should be. First, Eric and Gracie are not sympathetic victims. They feel too irrational to care about. It’s difficult to believe that they would not just give them the password. They don’t convince the audience why they wouldn’t give it over. Also, because Gracie begins praying so much, she becomes too annoying as a character. It’s very difficult to like her. Thus, the result is that the audience doesn’t root for Gracie or Eric.
They need to be more likable to root for them. To make this work more effectively, in the first act when they are initially introduced, make them more relatable to the audience. Show the audience why they should like Eric and Gracie. They can be flawed, but they need to connect to the viewer. They feel too superficial as characters. As mentioned, it’s unclear if Eric or Gracie is supposed to be the true protagonist. Neither character drives the plot. If one is supposed to be the protagonist, make sure this is well defined in the opening and that they drive the
There’s a three-act structure. The opening sets up the idea of a home invasion. However, the opening with the police scanner is distracting and confusing. It’s unclear exactly what’s happening and it becomes diverting. Focus the opening more on Ray watching the house and Gracie and Eric. Hence, consider cutting the scanner, or trim it, and/or clarify the events (how is the cop killing related to the plot).
The invasion is the inciting event that drives the plot forward. The second act is goal focused on opening the …show more content…
It doesn’t feel believable. Perhaps the intention is to show irony that after all of this, they now give some of the bonds up, but for the audience, it’s not convincing.
The other major concern about the script is the lack of emotionally identifying with any of the characters. It’s not clear who the protagonist should be. First, Eric and Gracie are not sympathetic victims. They feel too irrational to care about. It’s difficult to believe that they would not just give them the password. They don’t convince the audience why they wouldn’t give it over. Also, because Gracie begins praying so much, she becomes too annoying as a character. It’s very difficult to like her. Thus, the result is that the audience doesn’t root for Gracie or Eric.
They need to be more likable to root for them. To make this work more effectively, in the first act when they are initially introduced, make them more relatable to the audience. Show the audience why they should like Eric and Gracie. They can be flawed, but they need to connect to the viewer. They feel too superficial as characters. As mentioned, it’s unclear if Eric or Gracie is supposed to be the true protagonist. Neither character drives the plot. If one is supposed to be the protagonist, make sure this is well defined in the opening and that they drive the