The short story, “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love” by Raymond Carver, invalidates the struggles and the lives of women, especially those that have dealt with trauma and abuse. The lack of empathy for Terri, the lack of recognition of abusive relationships do nothing to prevent or provide education on domestic violence, and the absence of support marginalize women.
Terri, Mel’s second wife, was in two consecutive abusive relationships. She had lived with Ed, a man that “loved her so much he tried to kill her.” (Carver 171), and then she married Mel, who’s mood towards her changed quickly and often, and who verbally lashed out at her throughout the story. Mel is drinking, and as he drinks, he becomes irascible. At different times in …show more content…
1 out of 4 women will experience domestic violence during their lives, and it’s most often committed by a partner or a loved one. Since women are the majority of victims, we must have each other’s backs. For some reason, there is no unspoken code that women will take care of one another, even though we face the most oppression compared to men (and omitting other genders). Laura is completely neutral and unsupportive of Terri. She should have some remote empathy for Terri, because she can most likely relate at least a little. When Terri talks about Nick and Laura’s relationship, she sounds bitter, critical even. She tells them that they’re still in the honeymoon phase, it’s sickening. Just wait; in a while you won’t consider yourselves to be so lucky. Pitting women against each other, even as obscurely as this, is damaging to out mentality as a society. Women need to be on the same side as each other in order to improve the conditions we face.
In “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love,” characters choose not to criticize an abuser’s actions and show no empathy for a victim. There is an absence of support for one who has had a traumatic past, and a normalization of domestic abuse. This is harmful to our society and our mentality to look the other because we don’t see what’s wrong or we just don’t choose to do anything about
Terri, Mel’s second wife, was in two consecutive abusive relationships. She had lived with Ed, a man that “loved her so much he tried to kill her.” (Carver 171), and then she married Mel, who’s mood towards her changed quickly and often, and who verbally lashed out at her throughout the story. Mel is drinking, and as he drinks, he becomes irascible. At different times in …show more content…
1 out of 4 women will experience domestic violence during their lives, and it’s most often committed by a partner or a loved one. Since women are the majority of victims, we must have each other’s backs. For some reason, there is no unspoken code that women will take care of one another, even though we face the most oppression compared to men (and omitting other genders). Laura is completely neutral and unsupportive of Terri. She should have some remote empathy for Terri, because she can most likely relate at least a little. When Terri talks about Nick and Laura’s relationship, she sounds bitter, critical even. She tells them that they’re still in the honeymoon phase, it’s sickening. Just wait; in a while you won’t consider yourselves to be so lucky. Pitting women against each other, even as obscurely as this, is damaging to out mentality as a society. Women need to be on the same side as each other in order to improve the conditions we face.
In “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love,” characters choose not to criticize an abuser’s actions and show no empathy for a victim. There is an absence of support for one who has had a traumatic past, and a normalization of domestic abuse. This is harmful to our society and our mentality to look the other because we don’t see what’s wrong or we just don’t choose to do anything about