'What We Talk About When We Talk About Love' By Raymond Carver

In “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love” by Raymond Carver 1981, we find the author giving a modern day approach to a question we have all asked ourselves. What is love? This story is set in the kitchen of a married, professional couple, where they are joined by another couple they are friends with. During the course of the evening the 2 couples begin a conversation depicting the many phases and faces of love. One of the women, Terri, understands love as an abusive boyfriend taught it to her. Meanwhile the couple that is joining the other two is newly in love and still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. Lastly you hear of a love that stands the test of time as demonstrated in a recounting by Mel, the neurosurgeon who is hosting the evening. …show more content…
Terri states that the man she was with prior to her marriage “loved her so much he wanted to kill me” (722). After the dissolution of their relationship the former boyfriend then proceeded to kill himself after being heartbroken at losing her. Terri actually becomes defensive of her former boyfriend and his love for her when she exclaims “But he loved me. You can grant me that, can’t you” (723)? To Terri the fact that her former boyfriend was willing to fight for her love, even though he was causing her harm, and take his own life on account of their breakup, was the ultimate love. Terri knows that kind of love isn’t healthy. While she acknowledges that kind of love is crazy, she justifies it by saying “people are different”