Throughout his paper, Zimmerman gives a point by point comparison of the controversial debate, and then concludes the paragraph with his reasoning on why both sides are incorrect. This is evident in paragraph three, when he states “To be clear, no credible research has ever sustained the conservative claim that sex education makes young people more likely to engage in sex. Yet there is also scant evidence to suggest that it affects teen pregnancy or venereal disease rates, either,” This strategy sufficiently acknowledges both parties reason for concern while also devaluing their invalid ethical judgments. Zimmerman brilliantly employs this strategy throughout his writing to elevate his paper to his main …show more content…
This organizational mistake unfortunately confuses his intended message. Throughout the paper, while seeing notable attempts at providing backing and impressive diction, it is not evident what Zimmerman is trying to claim. It isn’t until the final paragraph that an explicit claim is written. Having to try to discern whether he is pro or anti sex education distracts from his intended message of the paper. Zimmerman didn’t write this essay to conclude the appropriateness of sex education. The point he wanted to make was that sex education in schools does not affect students, but students (society) affect sex education. This lack of claim in the introductory paragraph diminishes the other commendable aspects of this paper. While Zimmerman concocted a well thought out paper, his lack of a claim statement undermines his congenial writing and overall