When I was younger, I dreamed of becoming a singer. Not the classical type, but I had the typical childhood dream of becoming a pop sensation. So, everyday when I came home, I would play music, sing (which mostly sounded like screeching), and choreograph a dance piece to the song as if I were performing it. I would imagine being on stage, confidence flowing from my body and a crowd cheering me on. This was my dream. A little far fetched, but to my child mind, anything was possible. I communicated my dreams to my mother and I was interested in signing up for voice lessons or something of the sort. However, she was not hesitant in informing me, “If you were talented enough, you would have been scouted already.” Ouch. In this moment, my 8 year
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She asserts that self-compassion is more effective than self-esteem because self-esteem results from a comparison to peers. Khazan states, “It's not having self-esteem that’s the problem, it's pursuing it. This is based on feeling special and above average or better than others.” (Khazan 2) I struggled to feel confident when attempting to achieve high regard because it stemmed from comparing my achievements to others. My self-esteem was shaky at times because having a high self-esteem required feeling special and above average; being called average was almost an insult to me. Whenever I failed to meet these high expectations or was not affirmed, self-esteem deserted me when I needed it the most. Thus, Khazan suggests that self-esteem in unreliable as it can let us down however self-love is a better alternative because it is constant and will not disappoint us. I wish that I had known self-love didn’t demand a positive evaluation or comparison, rather, the positive emotions of self-compassion kick in exactly when self-esteem falls, making it highly stable. Because it is constant, instead of endlessly chasing self-esteem, I would argue that we should encourage the development of …show more content…
He discusses the concept of “Amour Propre” and states self-esteem is comparative and relational and is based on how one perceives himself according to the eyes of another. Blackburn expresses, “whereas someone’s ordinary self-interest can be forward or frustrated, their amour propre is essentially something that can be gratified or offended, bruised or wounded.” (Blackburn 2016) Our concept of self-esteem is based on how up to par one views himself and not the common misconception that confidence or high self-esteem is based on one’s own judgment without outside influence. This amour propre, concerns a person's perception of his or her standing in relation to others; satisfaction is solely due to being satisfied in relation to his surroundings. Hence, my self-esteem was easily manipulated and vulnerable to outside
She asserts that self-compassion is more effective than self-esteem because self-esteem results from a comparison to peers. Khazan states, “It's not having self-esteem that’s the problem, it's pursuing it. This is based on feeling special and above average or better than others.” (Khazan 2) I struggled to feel confident when attempting to achieve high regard because it stemmed from comparing my achievements to others. My self-esteem was shaky at times because having a high self-esteem required feeling special and above average; being called average was almost an insult to me. Whenever I failed to meet these high expectations or was not affirmed, self-esteem deserted me when I needed it the most. Thus, Khazan suggests that self-esteem in unreliable as it can let us down however self-love is a better alternative because it is constant and will not disappoint us. I wish that I had known self-love didn’t demand a positive evaluation or comparison, rather, the positive emotions of self-compassion kick in exactly when self-esteem falls, making it highly stable. Because it is constant, instead of endlessly chasing self-esteem, I would argue that we should encourage the development of …show more content…
He discusses the concept of “Amour Propre” and states self-esteem is comparative and relational and is based on how one perceives himself according to the eyes of another. Blackburn expresses, “whereas someone’s ordinary self-interest can be forward or frustrated, their amour propre is essentially something that can be gratified or offended, bruised or wounded.” (Blackburn 2016) Our concept of self-esteem is based on how up to par one views himself and not the common misconception that confidence or high self-esteem is based on one’s own judgment without outside influence. This amour propre, concerns a person's perception of his or her standing in relation to others; satisfaction is solely due to being satisfied in relation to his surroundings. Hence, my self-esteem was easily manipulated and vulnerable to outside