Thank you Kami for allowing me to read your story. The story was so suspenseful. I could not even stop myself from reading your story. I really wanted to find out what happen to Bartholomew and how it ended up in his father’s prison. I like how you went back and forth from the past and the present, it really added dynamics to your story. You did a great job of setting up the scenery so we could understand the world that Bartholomew was living. Your story read very smoothly and with great fluency that the next sentence followed perfectly to the next. You did a great job of building up suspense to your ending. Your character development was superb and you really felt for your character Bartholomew. You really wanted him to find his father and
