What Is My First Love Essay
Today I’m in my third hour class after lunch, my absolute least favorite class of all time; Ms. Johnson’s Spanish Intermediate class. Right now I’m working on a vocabulary sheet that I have to turn in by the end of the period but have absolutely no intention of finishing on time. I try to conjugate the word “Trabajador” …show more content…
My throat grew as hard as stone, my heart now a cold and empty hearth, and in this instant I feel like I’ve died a thousand time over. At that moment I can taste bile at the back of my throat as I promptly text her good-night and I go lay down in bed. No matter how hard I try, I can’t fall asleep, but in a way I feel slightly better with the darkness of my room hugging me in comfort, as it does to all forgotten and unwanted things. Despite this little comfort, I still feel like Emma had exposed my heart and clawed at it with the sharp talons of a vulture or some other bird of prey. As if that wasn’t enough, the scent of her perfume had teasingly invaded my nose, and it would not go away, and whenever I was about to doze off, the sound of my heart rang through my ears once more, jolting me awake and conjuring up tears in my eyes again. Eventually after hours of crying I fall asleep from exhaustion.
The next morning I wake up before my alarm goes off and I turn it off as to not wake up my parents. At first I was okay, thinking it was just another day, then I remember; today is the first day for three months that I was single, that the girl I love will never care about me again. I also realize something; looks like I’ve been right all along, that no women will ever truly love me, that I should’ve trusted my gut and my experience with women before, and that I was a fool to ever think I’m loved by the opposite