What Is Deception And Deception In Where Are You Going Where Have You Been?

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Fear, lust, and deception. Three things that can completely destroy a human. These three feelings and actions that if compiled in the correct way can bend a person to do anything. Most importantly though, deception, the lies that create false hope and a brighter future. In Joyce Carol Oates’s, “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?”, we watch as a young girl named connie falls victim to Fear, lust, and deception through a man named Arnold Friend, who she encounters while hanging out with a friend. We watch as he slowly changes his role in Connie’s life and how he uses the power of lie to control, excite, and destroy her. With the help of Pamela Meyer 's’ TED talk called “How to Spot a Liar”, we get to see just why she acts the way she …show more content…
Think about it, a lie has no power whatsoever by its mere utterance. Its power emerges when someone else agrees to believe the lie” (Meyer 01:08). In Oates 's “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been”, Arnold friend manipulates the conversation to gain control over Connie and her emotions. Is Connie allowing this to happen? If lying is indeed a cooperative act then why is she allowing a stranger to take such an affluent power over her? We learn later on in the TED talk when Meyer says, “Lying is an attempt to bridge [a] gap, to connect our wishes and our fantasies about who we wish we were, how we wish we could be, and what we’re really like” (03:40). If this is true then Arnold must reflect something she desires. Maybe it was her own self hate, “[She] had a quick, nervous giggling habit of craning her neck to glance into mirrors or checking other people 's faces to make sure her own was all right” (Oates 207). Connie’s own insecurities control her life and her perception of herself but this still evident around strangers when she says, “Her heart began to pound and her fingers snatched at her hair, checking it, and she whispered “Christ. Christ,” wondering how bad she looked” (210). To a complete stranger, who she has never seen, Connie still worries about her appearance. Her entire worth is based on physical …show more content…
Many things can throw off the deceived from the deceiver, threat, manipulation, and trust can destroy the ability to call out the lie. Though it is supposed to be a “cooperative act” Meyer makes note that “there are times when we are unwilling participants in deception. And that can have dramatic costs for us” (02:32). Connie unknowing was searching for missing pieces in her life through Arnold in the beginning but as she realized he wasn’t who he said he was she began to attempt a regain of control. Sadly for Connie there was no possibility, Arnold had rigged the entire situation. He had been watching her for some time; he found out what she did the night before, her name, all of her friend’s names, what her family looked like and where they were going on that day (212, 213, 215). Arnold had complete control the entire

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