I been feeling the worst today. I was super tried and just done with the world and everything in it. But then I got the chance to talk to chen. At first it was all good but then he wanted to video chat. I was so scared what he would say to me or think about me. Did he think I looked weird can he see how bad I really am. Lots of this where going though my mind at the time. Video chatting did not go like I wanted to go. But it went to a place I think it needed to go. It is over now and all out in the open. Chen officially knows almost everything about me. I do know how it feel about any of it really. Because the rest of the time he sang to me. I guess he was trying to calm me down or something. But what ever it was it was amazing and it worked in calming me down. After he was done he just told me to get so rest and that we will talk when I woke up. Well now that I am up and feeling so much better. I got the chance to video chat with chen again. This time there were no tears or spilling deep dark secrets. It was filled with laughter and chen telling me stories of what him and his friends did. Or what happened at school. I love listening to chen talk about school. I get to feel like I can go to school too. It is sad I only got to finish high school. I always wanted to go to college but I never got the chance. I have to take care of mother and for some reason I can not bring myself to runaway. I do not want to end up homeless I am lost but it is fine. I get to listen to how
