Introduction:
While conducting research for my genogram, I began to understand the scale of my grandpa’s abuse. On my dad’s side, he has fifteen brothers and sisters. He grew up incredibly poor and my grandparents viewed children as a mean for income rather than for child-raising. Because of their socio-economic status and because my great-grandparents were direct immigrants from Germany following the late famine in the 19th century, my grandparents physically abused all of their children. This was considered normal and no one raised an eye to it, but all of them were assaulted with a cattle prod and whipped if they did not comply. My dad was once beaten for breaking his leg on the ice. Additionally, three of my aunts were knowingly sexual …show more content…
I also witness this shame within all of my aunts and uncles on both sides of my extended family. My father, for example, externalizes shame by levying high expectations upon his children. He presents him as an intimidating person who is children ought to fear. Yet, he also tells us he loves us every day and does everything he can to support us. I witness this as a counter-active measure to the way his father raised him. My mother internalizes her shame by always putting herself down and never standing up for herself. She has a passive personality and always concedes to my father’s wishes. She avoids conflict and would prefer to lose her autonomy instead of kindling my father’s anger. I believe my father’s insistence has made my mother more passive as the years have gone on. This pattern of self-deprecating shame has also effected myself. In my relationship with my wife, I, in my weakest moments, hear myself attempting to control my wife and to exert my authority. In other moments, I embody my mother’s passiveness by shying away from conflict around my peers or those who have authority over me. I tend to self-deprecate and although I present myself as being confident, often I am the opposite.
2. Describe significant family events: include a minimum of 3 and …show more content…
Even in their weakest moments, my grandfathers were controlling their respective families. When they died, my aunts and uncles had to decide whether they wanted to continue family gatherings and holidays without his presence. I wonder if my family stayed together because of grandpa. He had some sort of control over them that I will never understand. After both of their deaths, my family parted ways for about a year, but then they began spending time with each other again. My aunts and uncles have tried taking on the role of the patriarch, but this has been met with significant resistance. Both of my grandfathers’ power continues to be theirs well after they have passed
While conducting research for my genogram, I began to understand the scale of my grandpa’s abuse. On my dad’s side, he has fifteen brothers and sisters. He grew up incredibly poor and my grandparents viewed children as a mean for income rather than for child-raising. Because of their socio-economic status and because my great-grandparents were direct immigrants from Germany following the late famine in the 19th century, my grandparents physically abused all of their children. This was considered normal and no one raised an eye to it, but all of them were assaulted with a cattle prod and whipped if they did not comply. My dad was once beaten for breaking his leg on the ice. Additionally, three of my aunts were knowingly sexual …show more content…
I also witness this shame within all of my aunts and uncles on both sides of my extended family. My father, for example, externalizes shame by levying high expectations upon his children. He presents him as an intimidating person who is children ought to fear. Yet, he also tells us he loves us every day and does everything he can to support us. I witness this as a counter-active measure to the way his father raised him. My mother internalizes her shame by always putting herself down and never standing up for herself. She has a passive personality and always concedes to my father’s wishes. She avoids conflict and would prefer to lose her autonomy instead of kindling my father’s anger. I believe my father’s insistence has made my mother more passive as the years have gone on. This pattern of self-deprecating shame has also effected myself. In my relationship with my wife, I, in my weakest moments, hear myself attempting to control my wife and to exert my authority. In other moments, I embody my mother’s passiveness by shying away from conflict around my peers or those who have authority over me. I tend to self-deprecate and although I present myself as being confident, often I am the opposite.
2. Describe significant family events: include a minimum of 3 and …show more content…
Even in their weakest moments, my grandfathers were controlling their respective families. When they died, my aunts and uncles had to decide whether they wanted to continue family gatherings and holidays without his presence. I wonder if my family stayed together because of grandpa. He had some sort of control over them that I will never understand. After both of their deaths, my family parted ways for about a year, but then they began spending time with each other again. My aunts and uncles have tried taking on the role of the patriarch, but this has been met with significant resistance. Both of my grandfathers’ power continues to be theirs well after they have passed