My boyfriend, Quincy, and I have been together for almost three years but, have known each other for seven years. Although the relationship did not remain productive for the full seven years there was still a lot of time spent with each other to communicate and develop a relationship. When a relationship exist for that long the relationship goes through many stages of development and our relationship is still developing today. Looking back at my relationship I can analyze the different relationship theories that I have gone through with Quincy. In this paper I am going to discuss the concepts of uncertainty reduction theory, social exchange theory and relational dialectics theory to analyze my relationship with my boyfriend. Uncertainty
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According to West and Turn (2014, p. 166) social exchange theory states that, “the major force in interpersonal relationships is the satisfaction of both people’s self-interest.” There were a lot of costs associated with being in a relationship with Quincy. The first and major cost being that my friends did not like him at all. In high school friends are a number one priority. Knowing that Quincy and my friends would never get along was a very high costs. Another cost was that I was enrolled in AP classes and being somewhat of a nerd it was important for me to focus on my classes. When it came to the rewards of being with him at that time I could not think of any because I was focused on myself. Therefore when calculating the worth of being with Quincy the costs were too high to outweigh any reward that I could come up with. The outcome of this calculation lead to the exit phase of the uncertainty reduction theory. Now, years later the relationship has rekindled and developed into an intimate relationship. When I calculate the costs of being with him currently they are very low. I can honestly come up with maybe one cost, which would be that he lives far. The rewards on the other hand are far too many to count. I could go on and on about the rewards of being with him so now the worth of being with him is extremely high. Our relationship is something …show more content…
This theory according to the text, “pictures relational life as constant process and motion.” (2014, p.200) One of the main themes of the relational dialectic theory is that relationships progress in oscillations. My relationship with Quincy is a prime example. Everything between him and I has not always gone smoothly due to their being a difference in opinions about the desires of a future relationship. In high school he wanted to move forward with a relationship while I wanted to focus on school but, still have time for my friends. I experienced a contradiction, the central focus of the dialectic approach, because I liked him but, I did not know how to fit him into my schedule without sacrificing time with my friends or time spent studying. Now in the present looking back on that friendship I shared with him in high school I can see the motion the relationship has made for the better. Even though now I have a great relationship with him sometimes I still have that little selfishness I had in me when I was in high
According to West and Turn (2014, p. 166) social exchange theory states that, “the major force in interpersonal relationships is the satisfaction of both people’s self-interest.” There were a lot of costs associated with being in a relationship with Quincy. The first and major cost being that my friends did not like him at all. In high school friends are a number one priority. Knowing that Quincy and my friends would never get along was a very high costs. Another cost was that I was enrolled in AP classes and being somewhat of a nerd it was important for me to focus on my classes. When it came to the rewards of being with him at that time I could not think of any because I was focused on myself. Therefore when calculating the worth of being with Quincy the costs were too high to outweigh any reward that I could come up with. The outcome of this calculation lead to the exit phase of the uncertainty reduction theory. Now, years later the relationship has rekindled and developed into an intimate relationship. When I calculate the costs of being with him currently they are very low. I can honestly come up with maybe one cost, which would be that he lives far. The rewards on the other hand are far too many to count. I could go on and on about the rewards of being with him so now the worth of being with him is extremely high. Our relationship is something …show more content…
This theory according to the text, “pictures relational life as constant process and motion.” (2014, p.200) One of the main themes of the relational dialectic theory is that relationships progress in oscillations. My relationship with Quincy is a prime example. Everything between him and I has not always gone smoothly due to their being a difference in opinions about the desires of a future relationship. In high school he wanted to move forward with a relationship while I wanted to focus on school but, still have time for my friends. I experienced a contradiction, the central focus of the dialectic approach, because I liked him but, I did not know how to fit him into my schedule without sacrificing time with my friends or time spent studying. Now in the present looking back on that friendship I shared with him in high school I can see the motion the relationship has made for the better. Even though now I have a great relationship with him sometimes I still have that little selfishness I had in me when I was in high