Throughout the whole semester I had hit many walls that have kept me from doing better but, I have improved in many of my writings whether it 's small errors or large. I am beginning to demonstrate competence in the SLOs which are, research and reading, essay composition, and polish and formatting. I chose two specific essays which I didn 't do as well as I should have but, has shown a lot of improvement. In these two essays i have shown improvement in organization, grammatical/mechanical errors, and thesis clarification. Essay composition in my essays have improved and I can demonstrate with the following writing. Providing a clear and arguable thesis has been a struggle for me, I have attempted to try to improve that in my essays. In essay
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In Essay 4, “Human Privacy Protection Rights: Are we being spied on?”, many of my sources were very credible, some being mostly scholarly reviewed others being credible newspaper sources, I gathered enough information to give a good amount of background for my essay and explain how I can make it a good debate. This essay explains how the government can spy on us and why we should know our privacy rights in order for us to live a “spy free” life. Danijel Bratina & Armand Faganel wrote about the many ways it is possible to spy on consumers, on their reference source, Data Mining and Privacy protection. They state, “We must not forget that consumers have the right to communicate and interact, and also to keep control over their personal data, even after they disclosed it to others” (Gallardo 2). This piece of evidence was from a reference source that helped me understand the many possible ways people the government can spy on others. A few scholars wrote about the subject, two of them being, Stephanie K. Pell & Christopher Soghoian, in Harvard journal of law & technology. they state, “ Law enforcement agencies perform most cellular surveillance with the assistance of telecommunications and Internet companies” (Pell & Soghoian 16). I showed 2 sources i used in my essay to show how i gathered information and a bit of …show more content…
In essay 3, “U.S Education and Education beyond the U.S” I had many grammatical and mechanical errors. For instance, comma splice was a huge problem I proofread my essay and tried to find any errors, in my draft of essay 3 I had written, “She had noticed that in different countries students had more freedom than in the United States, this freedom, although it seems amazing can either make or break you” (Gallardo 1). The comma splice is located after “the United States,” and after “this freedom,” which i revised and polished, to “She had noticed that in different countries students had more freedom than in the United States, this freedom although it seems amazing can either make or break you” (Gallardo 1). In essay 4, “Human Privacy Protection Rights: Are we being spied on?” I included a much more defined and improved way of writing with less errors than my essay before, I had one fused sentence and less comma splices. My formatting has improved a lot throughout this semester i have improved by using a proper way of formatting the MLA structure, including an introduction paragraph, body paragraphs, a conclusion paragraph, and a works cited page. The works cited page is more defined in essay 4,“Human Privacy Protection Rights: Are we being spied on?” than in essay 3,“U.S Education and Education beyond the U.S”, but i have also revised my essay 3 works
In Essay 4, “Human Privacy Protection Rights: Are we being spied on?”, many of my sources were very credible, some being mostly scholarly reviewed others being credible newspaper sources, I gathered enough information to give a good amount of background for my essay and explain how I can make it a good debate. This essay explains how the government can spy on us and why we should know our privacy rights in order for us to live a “spy free” life. Danijel Bratina & Armand Faganel wrote about the many ways it is possible to spy on consumers, on their reference source, Data Mining and Privacy protection. They state, “We must not forget that consumers have the right to communicate and interact, and also to keep control over their personal data, even after they disclosed it to others” (Gallardo 2). This piece of evidence was from a reference source that helped me understand the many possible ways people the government can spy on others. A few scholars wrote about the subject, two of them being, Stephanie K. Pell & Christopher Soghoian, in Harvard journal of law & technology. they state, “ Law enforcement agencies perform most cellular surveillance with the assistance of telecommunications and Internet companies” (Pell & Soghoian 16). I showed 2 sources i used in my essay to show how i gathered information and a bit of …show more content…
In essay 3, “U.S Education and Education beyond the U.S” I had many grammatical and mechanical errors. For instance, comma splice was a huge problem I proofread my essay and tried to find any errors, in my draft of essay 3 I had written, “She had noticed that in different countries students had more freedom than in the United States, this freedom, although it seems amazing can either make or break you” (Gallardo 1). The comma splice is located after “the United States,” and after “this freedom,” which i revised and polished, to “She had noticed that in different countries students had more freedom than in the United States, this freedom although it seems amazing can either make or break you” (Gallardo 1). In essay 4, “Human Privacy Protection Rights: Are we being spied on?” I included a much more defined and improved way of writing with less errors than my essay before, I had one fused sentence and less comma splices. My formatting has improved a lot throughout this semester i have improved by using a proper way of formatting the MLA structure, including an introduction paragraph, body paragraphs, a conclusion paragraph, and a works cited page. The works cited page is more defined in essay 4,“Human Privacy Protection Rights: Are we being spied on?” than in essay 3,“U.S Education and Education beyond the U.S”, but i have also revised my essay 3 works