On Veterans Day 2014, I asked my dad if we could play a round of golf. Since I was a baseball fanatic at the timen, my dad was surprised by my question, but nevertheless he set up a round of golf for us. When I hit a ball off the first tee, I knew I had found a new, strong passion. Although my swing was horrible, I was determined to practice golf everyday to become better. I told my mom about my exhilarating experience on the golf course later that night, and I slowly began to realize that I loved golf more than baseball for its independent aspects, unique serenity, exquisite views, and diverse challenges. wMy parents said I could play whatever sport I wanted to, but they told me that quitting baseball and starting golf would significantly
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Alternating between five hostile and friendly encounters, Twyla comes of age through her relationship with Roberta, as I explicate in my essay “The Path to Maturity Starts with a Single Lesson.” I write, “Twyla comes of age when she honestly reflects on previous experiments, including when her mom offers to shake hands with Roberta’s mom at St. Bonny’s, but she is rebuffed” (Kwon, “Path” 2), and my conclusion sentence reads, “Overall, Twyla completely comes of age by the end of the story by learning from her mistakes, losing her innocence, and gaining knowledge of what is right and what is wrong” (Kwon, “Path” 3). Although I believe the ideas in this essay are adequate, my syntax is redundant, ambiguous, and unorganized. I write “These sequence of events exhibits Twyla’s caring personality and her will to find solutions to major problems, such as what happened to Maggie at St. Bonny’s” (Kwon, “Path” 1) but fail to analyze other influential events, such as their friendly encounter in the grocery where Twyla demonstrates kindness to Roberta. In addition, I jump back rather than progressing through the essay in a logical manner. However, throughout the year I improved on my analytical writing skills. Enough experience and practice can make perfect, or in this case an A on an
Alternating between five hostile and friendly encounters, Twyla comes of age through her relationship with Roberta, as I explicate in my essay “The Path to Maturity Starts with a Single Lesson.” I write, “Twyla comes of age when she honestly reflects on previous experiments, including when her mom offers to shake hands with Roberta’s mom at St. Bonny’s, but she is rebuffed” (Kwon, “Path” 2), and my conclusion sentence reads, “Overall, Twyla completely comes of age by the end of the story by learning from her mistakes, losing her innocence, and gaining knowledge of what is right and what is wrong” (Kwon, “Path” 3). Although I believe the ideas in this essay are adequate, my syntax is redundant, ambiguous, and unorganized. I write “These sequence of events exhibits Twyla’s caring personality and her will to find solutions to major problems, such as what happened to Maggie at St. Bonny’s” (Kwon, “Path” 1) but fail to analyze other influential events, such as their friendly encounter in the grocery where Twyla demonstrates kindness to Roberta. In addition, I jump back rather than progressing through the essay in a logical manner. However, throughout the year I improved on my analytical writing skills. Enough experience and practice can make perfect, or in this case an A on an