Timmy Dialectical Journal

I carried Timmy for nine months. Nine confusing, agenizing months. These months came with a feeling that no one should have to endure at such a young age, but things happen. Things happen in an instant that can change your life forever. For the first five months I didn’t even know that Timmy was building a nest inside of me and claiming my body as his own. I knew something was wrong, but I was never able to figure it out, even the doctors couldn’t put their fingers on it. For that long period of mysterious symptoms and suspicious signs, I thought that I was scared of the effects Timmy was having on my body. I was wrong. What I realized was the source of my fear was the awareness of the fact that something was amiss, but no power or knowledge to figure out what it was. What I feared was the unknown. It was not until Timmy was born and I had time to analyze the factors of the rough process leading up to the discovery did I ascertain the rotten strawberry in my fresh, green berry bush. …show more content…
I am always worried, worried about the unknown. Worry follows me from class to class, from room to room whispering in my ear, telling me that everything is not ok. I worry will my mom get home from work ok? Will I forget all the information before my big exam? Will this mysterious illness kill me? Well the answer to the last one is known: no, Timmy, my brain tumor, will not kill me. (Sorry if you were expecting Timmy to be my baby boy, I love children but with the goal of becoming a doctor at hand, I have no time for dilly-dally). Thank God, my brain tumor was analyzed and declared benign. Therefore, aside from a few misfortunes like headaches and spine pain, I am actually one of the more fortunate people compared to those with a similar diagnosis. But the constant nerve-wracking possibilities of the other hundreds of things that can go wrong might be the reasons that emotionally kill me. Things happen in an instant that can change your life